**** me
Just **** me
But at the same time
Please don't

You have to do it
We both know I won't
So pull the trigger
Drag the blade
Let the blood flow
You have to do it
I won't, I know

I know the pain
The pain that I feel
The things I can't come back from
The wounds that won't heal

The death of my brother
The loss of a friend
But they just keep saying
"This isn't the end"

But what if it is?
Maybe that's what I want
Not just to die
But the choice to give up
Not the decision made for me,
The command to push on
But an option to stop,
If that's what I want

Is that such a selfish thought?
To end the war that I fought
Not us, not we
Not you, just me

I was the one that suffered
Me, the one that bled
Not you,
The one putting guilt in my head

I'm done
Done fighting, done hoping
Done trying
But most importantly;
Done lying

Saying "I'm okay" when on the inside,
I'm crying
Dying
To be heard, to be loved, to believe
Believe that I really am
More than I see

But now,
I'm just done

No
I won't let you hurt me
Use me and abuse me
My feelings matter too
Or are they just toys to you?
The clock keeps turning
Your words start burning
Hands spinning faster
Closer to disaster

It's starting to unravel
I heard the lies, fought the battle
But you don't see that, do you?
It just doesn't matter to you

How I think, how I feel
You just want me to bow down and kneel
Succumb to everything you desire
Help you up, lift you higher

But I won't, not anymore
Now it's time to even the score
Forget about you and focus on me
All I can do, all I can be

It's time for me now, no more us
No questions asked, nothing to discuss
I'm on my own now, I don't need you
I like myself more now, and feel better too

I'm going to find out what I can be
Because I finally know I don't need you
To be **me

My pillow's filled with cotton
But it holds so much more
It holds my tears
And my fears
And feeling I don't have reason for

My pillow's filled with cotton
But it is always there
There for snow
There for rain
Always there to listen and care

My pillow's filled with cotton
For when I can't take the pain
Listening to my screams
Listening to my dreams
And all the selfish moments, when I'm feeling vain

My pillow's filled with cotton
But only I can see
Past the fabric
To the magic
My pillow has always been there for me

It's calling me
Can't you see
My real and one true home

Filled with laughter
Filled with joy
It's the dream I must go after

Where I'll never grow up
And never grow old
And always have a hand to hold

Neverland!
It's calling me
The voice is like a symphony
The pixies, the mermaids
Lost boys and Peter Pan!
And now I have a plan

I'll sneak out to the roof one night
When the second star is clear in sight
And the night calls out to lead me astray
I'll jump and wish
That Peter Pan will take me away

With faith, trust and pixie dust
And happy thought so I won't fall
I'll hear his crow, his angel call
He'll catch me and we'll fly

No more pain
No more crying
Because tears aren't allowed
In Neverland

The key to my wishes, my hopes, my dreams
Funny how they tell you it's not what it seems
And the grass is so much greener on the other side
But what do you do?
When the grass starts to die?
The flowers all wilt and the sun doesn't shine
Now what would you give to turn back time?

But wait
You don't have to

This isn't the end
You haven't jumped yet
Jumped the lake, turned the bend
To where the grass is now dead
So make a new path
A beautiful one
One that will last
It's yours to design
It's yours to create
So don't give up yet
You decide your own fate