I'm gonna save my suffering
gonna bottle it up inside
cap it like a mason jar and let it sit awhile
put it on the shelf with all the pain and tears I've cried
and wait forever and a day
so all the tears have dried

She wasn’t mine to tarnish
though my touch her skin corrodes
she  pure unblemished
A porcelain unicorn among men
till I wiped the tears from her eyes and brushed streaks of rust across the perfection of her cheek

The sunset shades streaked over the dampened skin that once cried dark circles into shirts I never knew I would miss

For the prettiest rose cannot go on once picked by hardened hands
the lines written on my skin forced in under the gloves that have seen barren cold that can only be felt in lonely places.

Crude cursive scratched and scarred over a landscape cursed to provide shelter to hearts fallen short of paradise but to never hold them for fear of damaging that which they seek to save

In the moments between is when I know I love her

The fraction of a second before she looks up again when her gaze softens and her brow unfurls as the artwork enveloping her soul releases her back into the world and reality fades gently into her periphery

In the moments when she’s singing along and the music finds the breaking point where she lets her voice fall silent and leans into its embrace before joining back in as if to preserve the feeling of the notes like a pressed leaf that was too pure to be piled with the rest and jumped into with careless abandon

In the pause when our lips part and she breathes me in savoring the moment
stirring the hopes and dreams of my younger self back into a frenzy without so much as a word

In this moment
in the break of our nightly conversation to be whisked away to help her family as she often does I find my love only grows as again and again her generosity with her time is out on display and I take my place in the court side seats I so proudly occupy and I silently cheer her on.

And in the long days between our last kiss and our first embrace
like soldiers come home from the battlefield her moonlight skin greets me each time like the arms of long lost love
She melts beneath my touch and all the in betweens culminate and I call it love

I don't believe in god
but I know you do
and I find myself afraid
that my love is not enough for you
And so I pray again tonight
to a force I cannot see
to a deity I do not feel
from a faith that's not in me
For truth is true to each and every one of us unique
And I'll lie to me a truth to you
if it can grant you peace
For I love you more than my pride
more than honouring my view
I'll help you walk toward pearly gates
Though I can't go in with you
I'll stand beside you every step
If you'll have me on your way
To a heaven known by one of us
Until my dying day
For my views my truths my foolish pride
They aren't worth losing you
For the pain I'd feel to lose my heart
Is what I hold most true

In a garden of stone statues
I walked along and traced
My fingers over sculpted forms
Such detail in their face

And slowly as I plod along
I came across an arch
It was rough and worn and smelled of dust
But inside I did March

The air was cool and calm and still
And my footsteps echoed loud
And as I ventured forward
I began to feel quite proud

For I ran my hands along the walls
And covered them in dust
And wondered how this marvellous find
Had gone so long untouched
  
A few more steps around a bend
And a faint sound I could hear
The sobbing of a maiden
Did fall upon my ear

I hurried forth and and called out loud
Dear miss are you alright
I heard her shriek and sliding feet
And I ran with all my might

I flew round one more corner
And straight into a stone
And fell into a heap
I may have broke a bone

I cringed and moaned and groaned and sighed
As I clambered to my feet
I called dear maiden just once more
And began to feel defeat

As I turned to head back out
A soft voice spoke from near
You are not like the rest of them
Why did you come in here

I turned toward her voice
But she told me look away
I don't want you to see me
Not looking in this way

You look hurt she carried on
Your arm is damaged bad
Stay right there I'll fix a sling
Just don't look back dear lad

I heard her sound drift off
And return a moment later
I felt her soft hands wrap my arm
And to my health she did cater

I took her hand and kissed it
And whispered miss you're very sweet
I'd like to thank you properly
May I take you out my treat

She said that would not be wise
For as you'll plainly see
I'm a beast of little beauty
You could never care for me

I laughed for a moment
And pulled her close to me
Sweet maiden I am blind
I'll never plainly see

I turned my gaze toward her
And she looked upon my face
My still eyes gazed unwavering
As she gently held my face

She smiled at me a moment
And then began to cry
You're  the only one not turned to stone
When you look in my eyes

I kissed her once and smiled on back and pulled her close to me
I'll only ever love you for the beauty you can't see

i love you
i love you too
these words we did recite
which makes falling asleep so ******* hard
when you sleep with him tonight
i miss us
i miss your smile
ill end things with him today
and every time i trust you
every time my heart betrayed
i can't do this
it's ok
you lay
i lie
you sleep
while my heads not touched a pillow and no slumber did i keep
and now i pack a bag to see you
and of course him too
and promise i won't start ****
because i meant my *I Love You