if ever you find the bottom of the second tequila
and you hips swivel
and the music lingers on the skin the way it used to
I hope you dance
I hope you smile and let yourself lean into its blush
I hope you know when the muscle memory call comes
it will find open arms like the heart that never learned to close you out.

Another scale has fallen from my dragons armour hide
and seek to find the feelings that get more and more out of reach

The quiet has never been louder booming around me in a cacophony of every way the words used to be safe here

Before I shared them

I can flirt with the best of them
and maybe I have
I can lust and desire
I can move mountains to impress and cross seas to give smiles
I can dance and spin and dip and dazzle
I can wink and smile and buy you a drink
I can get the door walk you home conduct myself with all the chivalry and charm of your favourite rom com

But to love

To love in the way I wish to love and be loved
Both feet deep end too fast too much overwhelming nonsensical hopeless love
I fear it will be a fools errand to search it out again

….but I’m glad I know it exists

let my love be the shield you wield in the war that goes on when no one is looking
may the battlefield scars you wear on your heart find ease in my morphine kiss
when surrounded and fire rains let me shelter you
let my weathered back soften the blow till the gunshots fall as raindrops  in the shower we shared the night you cried to hide the tears