Sawyer Gowans

Sawyer Gowans Nov 17

Hide

Another scale has fallen from my dragons armour hide
and seek to find the feelings that get more and more out of reach

Sawyer Gowans Oct 22

Quiet

The quiet has never been louder booming around me in a cacophony of every way the words used to be safe here

Before I shared them

Sawyer Gowans Oct 3

Stone tears

My heart has learned to cry
While my eyes set like stone
It isn’t seen by passersby for the smile I left alone
It stands there muted on my face
A masquerading scar
Of the last night
before the last night
When the distance didn’t feel far

Sawyer Gowans Oct 2

Flirting for Fools

I can flirt with the best of them
and maybe I have
I can lust and desire
I can move mountains to impress and cross seas to give smiles
I can dance and spin and dip and dazzle
I can wink and smile and buy you a drink
I can get the door walk you home conduct myself with all the chivalry and charm of your favourite rom com

But to love

To love in the way I wish to love and be loved
Both feet deep end too fast too much overwhelming nonsensical hopeless love
I fear it will be a fools errand to search it out again

….but I’m glad I know it exists

….I'm glad you know too

Sawyer Gowans Oct 2021

Morphine

let my love be the shield you wield in the war that goes on when no one is looking
may the battlefield scars you wear on your heart find ease in my morphine kiss
when surrounded and fire rains let me shelter you
let my weathered back soften the blow till the gunshots fall as raindrops in the shower we shared the night you cried to hide the tears

Sawyer Gowans Sep 2021

Keeping Time

She breathes beside me
in the stillness of the night
her heartbeat
the metronome to the whispered sections of our symphony
quietly
pounding out it's steady rhythm
keeping time between the sheets

Sawyer Gowans Aug 2021

It's Been A Month

Maybe I'm crazy or maybe that's just the way the world sees romantics now
insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over expecting different results
so by definition they're not wrong
cause I've been writing poems singing songs and hoping someday to belong
to you

I've bought the flowers worn the suits tended trees that bore no fruit went to dinner caught a show cared for them when they were low
loved through sickness built through health helped them gain and grow their wealth charmed the mothers met the dads kept pace with each of their new fads went on adventures had calm nights in I put myself out on a limb all this effort to no avail
like a ship at sea

without a sail

but then you
you the effortless change of pace
the peace joy and giddy excitement rolling in gentle waves with insurmountable force hidden in the soft curves losing my nerve this is absurd

its been a month

but then you
you with the guide book to my soul leading tours through with answers to questions I didn't know I had driving me mad with the keys you hold to the secret doors into my very being

its been a month

but then you
you who breaks all the rules and tools carefully constructed out of the heartbreaks soul aches lost fates and burdened weights to keep me safe locked away from the pain and shame of another mistake

its been a month

but then you
you who ignites passions and fires deeper desires call me a liar this girl has me wired I'm not feeling tired

but

all I wanna do is go to bed
cause I know when I lay my head I'm just one night away from one closer day baby please stay "I love you" ok but I'm not sure I can say

I cant do this again

I am not as strong as the dragon you call me
these cavern walls in my mountain lair are cracked and worn my scales are torn my battered form has one good flight left in me

the last hurray of an ancient soul in a young mans body

so I take flight through the night stars in your eyes and leave behind the safety of my treasures and gold to give all that's left of my heart to hold
so now darlin'
you have me

its been a month