Sav Bean

Sav Bean Nov 2013

Nobody knows the real me,
The girl who starves herself everyday,
The girl who cries herself to sleep,
The girl who thinks she does everything the wrong way.

The girl who thinks she’s ugly,
No matter how many people say she’s not,
The girl who’s always depressed,
And hating non stop.

Nobody knows I’m anorexic,
Nobody knows I’m suicidal,
Everyone looks up to me,
And tells me I’m their idol.

For those of you who think I’m perfect,
You haven't taken the time to get to know the real me,
But I guarantee if you did,
You wouldn’t like what you see.

Sav Bean Nov 2013

Mine

I love the way you laugh,
I love the way you smile,
I love the way you look at me,
Like I’m the only girl worth while.

I love the way you walk,
I love the way you talk,
I love the way you can make me laugh,
You’re my soul mate, my other half.

You’re the sun that brightens up my day,
You’re the smile plastered on my face,
You’re the twinkle everyone sees in my eyes,
You’re the love in my heart that I can’t disguise.

But what’s best is that you’re mine,
My love for you can not be defined,
When I’m with you I’m on cloud nine,
And I promise I’ll fight for you until the end of time.

Sav Bean Nov 2013

Pain

I stand out in the rain,
Hoping it washes away all the pain.
From my head to my toes,
Why do I hurt?
Nobody knows.

I’ve been to over 25 doctors,
And each time I leave,
A new prescription for pills,
None of which are right for me.

I’ve been to the ER so many times they know me by name,
They say, Hey Savannah what’s up? and What’s wrong today?

I’ve been told It’s all in your head,
But why would I possibly want to stay in bed?
It hurts not to know what’s happening to me,
I just want to know what this could possibly be.

The kids at school say I just want attention,
The pain is real why can't they see,
But what hurts the most is knowing,
Your friends and family agree.

I don’t think this battle is worth fighting,
My life is so unexciting.
I just want to die,
So to everyone in the world I say goodbye.

Goodbye to all my haters,
Goodbye to all this disdain,
Goodbye to this ****** world,
And most importantly goodbye to all my pain!

Sav Bean Nov 2013

The Girl Everyone Once Knew

The pain in my heart is there because of you,
And the tears in my eyes are there for the same reason too.
As I look to God in the sky,
And I say hello to him and to everyone else goodbye,
I think of kissing your lips one last time.

There is no more reason to be alive,
You were the one thing that made me want to survive.
If I had only knew saying goodbye would be this hard,
I wouldn't have let my self get so scarred.

So here's to you ,
I love you and you know it's true,
But now the only person I am is the girl everyone once knew.

Sav Bean Nov 2013

A New Life

Forty five is the worst number ever,
It's how many days it took for me to realize we wouldn't be together.

Number one is the second worst for it only makes my heart ache,
Because with one more day, one more hour, one more minuet I could have proven to you that this was all a big mistake.

I keep telling myself "it'll all be okay",
But inside I know it really won't because my world didn't use to look gray.

I guess I should have known that you didn't really love me,
But for some reason or another I thought "together forever" was a guarantee.

So as I lay in my bed writing these words I hope you understand,
That this life is just to painful to continue without you in my hands.

And as I say goodbye to this world and hello to a new one,
I'm not the least bit afraid because I just want my life to be done.

Sav Bean Nov 2013

Getting No Sleep

It's 2 am and I've gotten no sleep,
This whole time all I've done is lay here and weep.

The thought of being without you is enough to make me toss and turn,
But it's not like it would give you any concern.

You were my whole world and you broke a lot more than just my heart,
You tore my whole ******* life apart.

Well my life is miserable now without you by my side,
If I could just leave this all behind I would but trust me I've tried.

You say the pain and the struggle of seeing me is getting to much for you to bare,
So I guess this is goodbye please take care.

It's 3 am now and I don't think I'm going to get to sleep,
So I guess I'll just lay here and weep, and weep, and weep.

— The End —