Bel blo mi pen ( my stomach hurts)
My mother isnt there

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only fathers, brothers, uncles, washing public

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village pig is in my stomach

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Ralarlar Village I am

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I stumble to the cook haus (kitchen)

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Bubu Tami and Bubu Peni ( grandmother Tami, grandfather Peni)

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half a teaspoon of salt, half a teaspoon of sugar

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kerosine and flicker follow

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forest and twilight, unfamiliar

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heshen bag, dirt, hole, diarrhea

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she whistles softly, kicking earth

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The sound of you are not alone

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never felt so at home

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photo, me as baby and her sitting on the floor

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never will another cushion

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I wept at the airport after only 5 days

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Years later when she passes

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she visits me behind my eyes

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another year passes, a disguise

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Tami born in Melbourne niece, surprise

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A moment living, never dies

A woman heard a small girls cries. Alone, without her own mothers eyes.

When I see myself through those
eyes so long ago.
A fuzzy little *** toy
You threw me to and fro.
You fooled me and you fed me
Like a dolly I would sit
Ashamed now looking back
A silly trusting trick.

I'm sorry for taking things to the extreme.
I'm sorry for answering your pain with a scream.
I'm sorry for tearing your delicate seam,
only to patch it over with a sun beam,
with agreements and warmth all the cherries and cream.
I love you my Ben, you with your logic, your concrete, i lean..................

When there is nothing to do.
I think of you.
When I'm down on the ground,
no lift in me,
I think of you,
a tall strong tree,
lay down with me,
you stop for free.
You thought of me.
I wonder if I chopped you down,
or did you lay your branch
your leaves to hear the sound
of my tears drip. They drop.
In the forest, lost.
My land is sand, sift, dried from
past jealousy.

Today my eyes sting,
last night they focused on you through the end of a sewing needle
threading fine connection
mending your loose button,
taking up that hem.

Went to bed with lipstick on
White pillow no more
When I wake in the morning, does it tell it, my score?
Anxious secrets spoken in my sleep
A closed door
Smears of stories, sleep talking
Marked
Drool and rouge
Tells it raw.
My eye liner
Pressed the cushion
What you see the next day
All my visions in my dreams
Black lines there I lay
Open door to the soul
The days makeup
Accidental display
Oh Ella baby
She gives it away
The marks say she loves him.
He is.
No worries for the rest of your day.

I woke up thismorning and I screamed,"I'm awake!"
I'm happy, I'm alive, I have love, I'm real,I'm not fake!
I laughed and I spun, I jumped and I run,
I held my own hand and headed out in the sun!
Today I'm on a mission, to go fishin, smile about a boy I'll be kissin,
I'm gatherin up hope, to give the good world a poke,
Cos I have no shame being proud of my name,
I love my mum Elvie, she radiates great,
My dad Alan's the man, he's so selfless and grand,
Will's the true wise one, he knows how he feels
Then there's Allan Mana who's major, he's offspring could fill up a football field,
And Peter Rowe, he's our big bro and we do love him so :) [:)]
Then there's me, I'm the small one, but only in stature,
Mess with my family and I'll give you a fracture ;) [;)]
My friends are amazing! Yes they are the best,
They love me when I'm evil and when I'm in jest!
And how about Grandma? She's doin okay, she turns 90 this year, still as bright as a sun shiny day,
I tell her my secrets, without any regret,
As much as I trust her, I know she'll forget!
But back to my joy, my happiness for life!
If your feeling struggle or trouble or strife,
Just open your eyes and scream your awake! Tell everyone you love them,
And I promise, with out hesitation, come on quicken your pace,
It will come back to you like a sweet smack in the face......

Even when I'm spent,
I sprint to you.
Your sleeping in the sun,
I shade you.
When your not so fun,
I clown or cry for you,
A smile on your face,
I shape to fill the space for you.

We're far from oxymoron,
Not alone together, a dull shine or honest liars
Pair bonding in oxytocin
Ice my fingers, then you blow'n
Them, cool my body,
Adds to grow on,
The passion we two flow from.

So,

I'm a little embarrassed,
however ashamed I might feel,
here goes.......:

Upon hearing from a text message from my brother that you were engaged,
I burst into tears, texted my best friend, cried a little more. It was strange.
And then got on with my busy day.
I then came to a complete stop only to realize that this news was plaguing my mind,
I had to know the truth.
So I sent you that email, hoping you would reply.
The email was completely genuine.
I then still felt like a crazy person.......
So I called my brothers girlfriend, found out his username and password,
hacked into his account, stalked your fb page and realized it was a hoax,
felt further emotional confusion, idiotic, potentially psychopathic.
Singed out.
Had to tell you.
I'm glad its not true.
However, if it were, I would accept it, not that that even freaking matters.

I have an odd attachment to you that I hope will soon leave me.
It is painful and odd.
I had been crying over you for the last 3 days.
So hearing the news startled me.

I have moved on in reality from you, however, emotionally, I have not.

I am pleased to hear you have a lady.

I'm a **** wit.