Once I was a ghost
Floating between the realms
There was never such a thing
As light or dark or oblivion

I drifted through the gray desert
Without sun or wind or mountain sides
Desolate land stretched eternity
I stayed content as a cold thin line

Endless wandering ended my search
Though I knew not what for
A glimmer caught my periphery
And gravitated me towards a glow

My essence was then quickly surrounded
By beams of warm yellow light
I never knew there could be such a sensation
Nor any awareness of this bewitching sight

I had uncovered an unknown phenomenon
Of light and dark and density
I was delivered into a world of immeasurable color
Mountains that gleam with sun and trees

This body I found brought me elegant gifts
Such as sight and sound and infinite love
I've since become a stranger to the desolate gray
Now my ghost is possessed by life and home

We locked eyes
From across the room
Your pupils dilated

Slowly you moved
Towards me with
A keen hunters eye

From the floor you
Leaped onto my chest
Curling into a cozy circle

You looked up at me
With sleepy squinted eyes
And a yawn razor sharp

I felt the weight of
Your soft body relax
As if you made it home

My tears were then
Instantly healed from
The savory sound of your purr

There has always been
Instant ramifications held
Over me for expressing
Some of the sorrow I have felt

From the moment I began
Listening to and loving myself
I was engineered to abstain
From speaking my opinions too loud

I was finally conditioned to
Keep my mouth stapled shut
As to not face the accusations
Of how I navigate these thoughts

Now I hardly know what to do or say
With doubt laced words and actions
Living in constant inescapable fear
Of all the possible repercussions

Please tell me who you want me to be
So I'm no longer held responsible
For whatever consequences are created
Based on what you think is acceptable

Misery is a ****
To be severed at the stem
Yellow dandelions reach
And scream they are medicine

My garden blooms
With rage and thunderstorms
Dark clouds rain heavy
Soil crowded by wild onions

The lilies stretch
And shout for some light
In a war with the sunflowers
Who only bear fruit at night

I tell the begonias
To have a little faith
Not compete with the tulips
We all find beauty along the way

I speak mostly love into
My honest little garden
Pulling at weeds who's roots run deep
They are the main event of the harvest

Without weathering the storms
Sprouting innocent dandelion leaves
Little room would be left for growth
And dreams would remain rootless seeds

I only notice everything I am not
The lesser self
The body that rots

I've come to despise the person I am
The hollow existence
The mind that rants

I succumb to this shell that I have become
The tunneled vision
The nothing expands

Little planetary girl
Made of metal from the air
She watches poison quietly float
To the ground where she walks barefoot

Loud steel factory town
It's home to the most beautiful sunsets around
Over a river and a chain of rocks
There's a city separated by polluted blocks

She's a bright green wide-eyed dreamer
She has a mind that only sees the future
Skyscrapers are kissing stars in the distance
While she has visions of a different life between cigarettes

We all know change is only a bridge away
It's twenty miles to a boarding airplane
But these hallucinations are soaked in a sulfuric stench
And screeching trains clog all the exits

Jaded little starlit girl
Behind the Arch awaits the whole world
Don't let this home become another bad habit
The city is calling from behind the granite

I do not dream
About butterflies
Over the moors
In the spring

I have no despair
Over rotten
Flowers that died
Plucked to be free

I crave the sparks
That ignite
My mind which
Steeps in gasoline