I wish I didn’t but I did
I wish I was cool enough
But I am not
I wish I didn’t picture him in the bed
Instead of you
I wish you asked first
I wish I didn't want to do it too
I wish we didn't need 10 shots
I wish I had the upper hand
I wish you would’ve called
I wish you weren’t number 5

I once loved a girl named Bacardi
She coaxed me in and made me feel free
She put her arm around me and treated me like a queen
I trusted her and did what she pleased
three solo cups and we were dancing on the bar
But this was her plan all along
to trick me once again with her sugar lies
once she had me too high to come down
she began her assault
she kicked me down the stairs
pulled out my hair
punched me in the stomach
put her fingers around my throat
and made me suffer till the morning light
oh Bacardi, fool me once shame on you
fool me twice,  I’ll stick with Jack

I cannot breathe
It takes every ounce of my energy
For oxygen to reach my lungs
It comes so easy for everyone else
When I get lost in my head
I return to life gasping for air

Your blue eyes, and faded jeans

Breathe

Your hand tucking hair behind my ear

Breathe

Long walks under starry skies

Breathe

Quiet kisses under the covers

Breathe

Tropical sunsets and New Jersey snow
Making me rethink everything
Making me fall hard
Being ******* perfect

Breathe

Left me in love and Alone
Cold in your eyes as you tell me to go
No explanation no reason at all
Just a piece of my heart and you go

Breathe

Breathe

. . . Breathe

Kiss on the cheek in new york city
Giving you everything for the first time
Christmas day when you finally said the words
March when you took them back
Not looking back from the highway

Breathe

Day 5 no call

Breathe

Day 30 no call

Breathe

Month 6 no call



. . .Faint

It shines and lusters

Through any case, she tries to hide it

Its jagged edges sprawl, like the rays of the sun

Hypnotized by its beauty, she grabs hold of it

Edges piercing her fragile skin

But oh how the diamond glows

She barely notices the crimson

Gracefully floating through the pores on her delicate fingers

Connective tissue starts to mend the pain, lacerations become scars

She ignores the old wounds as she cannot leave the diamond be

She’ll hide it with her forever until she can no longer feel

He looked so familiar
Blue eyes and strong hands
Caught my eye as I walked in
Shy glances throughout the night
Soft kisses under the blankets
Tugging at clothes
Falling asleep in his arms
I wake up with a smile on my face
Twenty-three will be my year
And this man who hasn’t left before the morning light
is finally not just a dream

I
Don't
Even
know
What
qualities
to look for
in a man
anymore.

You look at me different
Like no ones ever looked at me
You caress my face, and I melt
I run my fingers through your hair and get lost
Please don’t come find me
You have the power to make me transcend into another world
In a world where its just you and I
Laughing and smiling in a place where there are no quandaries
Nothing that could ever keep us apart
You tuck my hair behind my ear
And my heart feels whole
My soul recognizes something in you
Something I cannot attempt to describe
When good things come to my life
I think of you
When bad thoughts come to my head
Your voice heals me . . .

Then reality sets in
The tears come rolling down uncontrollably
Pain radiates from my torso
My stomach and heart feel as if they’re being ripped out of my body
Tears faster now, like waves crashing against the shores of my quivering lips
You hear me now, my cheeks flush with embarrassment
Your eyes fill with remorse as you see me upset for the first time
I have to go soon
But the thought of not being with you makes my soul cry
I feel my heart break as words from your soft lips are not what I needed to hear
I changed the rules
I know, this isn’t what we both agreed to
But wont you change the rules with me?

…Please

NYE
West philly
On the floor of your apartment
Late night breathing
Eager lips
Hands everywhere
Mine shaking, yours steady and strong
My bodies no longer mine
Its yours for the taking
Tugging at our clothes,
Pushing your body up against mine as you kiss my neck
Eager for all of you but the drinks weren’t that strong
Quiet, don’t wake the others around us
This is our new years kiss
Not there’s
This was your plan all along
I’m your victim tonight
But I don’t mind
This isn’t typical behavior for me
But i find myself getting lost in your arms
My lips leave yours as the morning light breaks through the window
I feel your eyes on my back as I walk away
A smile on my face
Its going to be a good year

little ****
big mouth
narrow mind
no empathy
large ego
big coward
small brain
a big mistake
for you not me
because i'll find better
but you have lost the best

On one of the last days of autumn
You snuck up on me once again
You looked at me and only me
Your hands were strong as they guided me across the dance floor
Blue eyes looking right through me
I feel like im falling
And you whisper that you wont let me
As I collapse into your arms and you kiss me on the cheek
I look around as others gaze at us
Hands interlocked and smiles on our faces
Their all thinking what I am
F i n a l l y
A kiss goodbye with a warm embrace
and we part
Now we sit at the bar with contagious smiles
Laughing at eachothers jokes, paying no attention to the commotion around us
I cant help but think,

if only you would let me catch you

Tight jeans and a southern smile
Aaron Watson in the speakers of your big obnoxious pick up truck
Leather boots and a Texas tattoo
charming when your sober,
something else when intoxicated
Exchanging jokes that only our desert humor can take
Cruising down the loop on the back of your bike
Grabbing onto you a little tighter then I need to
Seeing small glimpses of person I admire,
quickly masked by hours of one I feel sorry for

…I didn’t know our kisses and two steps were undercovers