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Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
I would rather be
A star swirling in unconscious ecstasy, or
The air captivated by gravity, or
One single wave as it shies from the shore, or
A pebble cemented into the sidewalk path underneath a leaf
as it’s cracked and crushed under the heedless, preoccupied nature of man, or
A humble crease of a sick rose’s petal, or
One coffee ground stuck to the bottom of a yellowed, chipped mug,
Because it doesn’t matter, it does not matter.
Nothing truly matters.
Whether you’re privileged or impoverished,
Content or depressed, dispassionate or obsessed,
A ****** or a giant, timid or defiant,
Powerful,
                           Crippled,
Insane,
                Naïve,
Whether you’re green with jealousy or environmental tendencies,
Whether you Fight,
Fight for world peace,
Fight to end, to ****, Hunger,
It will not matter.
Because Man is addicted to conflict.

War is on the pedestal.

Hatred, envy, greed, lust, and hunger all

FIGHT

To ensure its power.

With every hand that scrambles for control,
With every eye that narrows to aim,
With every breath held for stability,
That pedestal heightens and heightens.

You might as well sigh for the butterfly who killed all those damaged, but innocent individuals.
Its gentle wings, essential to its survival, are to blame.
So you might as well accuse that abusive husband in New Jersey for the Iraqi War,
And that fisherman in the ****** Islands for global warming,
Or that little boy who's crying for the emasculated, shrunken, pathetic homeless man muttering,
“Hope is hope because hope is never hope. Hope like a rabbit, hope hope hope.”

Can you not see?
Can you even Be?

I can only hope for an escape, an exploitation of no conflict or aggravation.
just one wisp of matter with no conscious mind.
I can only point at all inconsistence with determination to prove that the only consistency in this entire universe is simply
ILLUSION.
2/24/09
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Half-shut eyes shying away,
Lids fluttering from flat lines to fear.
Heaviness with
Every inhalation of this acid,
Poisoned air stippled with pollution,
Hatred and despair.
Envision trembling voids that yearn
For the pull of a black hole's infinite birth.
7/09
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
A greasy cage, painted with chipped, faded gold,
Houses an individual whose identity is fastened by chains,
Silver chains rusty with the squeaks of a rat
Whose tail is pinched by the linked fingers.
The prisoner is taunted, with heavenly lights,
By one empty corner of the prison’s ceiling,
Partially freed to dream
Stars melting
On her skin,
Warm ice

Years ago, she had shredded and torn apart her wool blanket.
Its remains are piled in the far right corner
Collecting neglection and dust.
3 & 6/09
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
a few seconds left
a few minutes
a few hours
a few days

i'm spinning in circles,
twirling the sky,
and the dizziness decreases.

every second hand's tick echoes infinitely
echo echo
a glance, a hand-wring
I pick my nails.

Time
the departure and arrival of the present
Evolution of the future into the past.
          The grass is growing
          The surroundings groan
while i try to open my eyes
    tense with
    anticipation
    excitation

gas tank almost empty
big capital e's have never looked so attractive

Now, the doors will be unlocked,
And ripped off
And crunched, crushed,
And incinerated, obliterated.
Oh,
what a refreshing breeze
smells like sunflowers,
pomegranates,
and honey.

Let's neglect new barriers.

  I can see
the pores of time.
I'm the future
a crane, an eagle
an equal

The doorknob's key is in my hand,
An axe in the other.

All those years
of inescapable limitation to
the view from a windowsill,
they will soon be the senile, wrinkled remains
of tears, of fears, of jeers.

Soon, I will soar
Escape this world of sore
Existence at the core
Of the personalities who tore
At the pained cultivation of my soul,
Who decided it was best to close my doors,
I know, I swear, these shackles, held in the hands of unmuffled cackles,
Will disintegrate in nothing
but dust and flies to blind their eyes,
Keeping them, from once again,
Binding me into void oblivion,
I am blinded by triumphant tears,
They'll evaporate eventually,
Leaving behind puffed and swollen emotional Glory.
5/05/09
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
A simple, stoop of a man
Well-endowed with an ample brow,
Stood Encased
In a cage of frozen glass.
But fortunately,
The heat of his ignorant fire
Melted his shell of ice.
One drop dips, elongates with gravity,
Only to shatter,
Colder that the world’s soul,
Upon his introduction to reality.
2/09
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
Is existence
Anything
Besides
Societal farce?
I hope so.
What is everything
Is a farce?
How can I enjoy
Play again?
Splash flailing through the waves
Laugh wild free
Sob wild free
Drizzle away, seep through
The pages, holy farce,
I’ll find my way
To eat you
And burp a lilac’s breath
9-19-10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
The sun's light overwhelms my senses.
My soul, my mind have become accustomed to
The Darkness of our secret world.
4/08/09
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Warning:

You are paralyzed by the hallucinated demise
Stimulated by the distortion of
Your mental reality highlighted with opportunities
To amend your insecurity with your body.

Now is the time to revise your sighs into War Cries.
Recognize. End it. Rebirth your mind.
6/08
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
before this summer
I never knew if I was telling the truth
when I said I love you
now I know I meant it
everytime
and even now
I miss you still
I love you still
I tried so hard to never admit it
before this summer
now I know
in my heart
I love you
I miss you
and
I don't know if I'm okay
I don't care and I do care
before this summer
I never knew if I was honestly being happy
and now I know
at least for a while now
i'm at peace
and now I know
in my heart
I love you
I miss you
and
i'm at peace
8-30-10
Sarah Jystad Jul 2010
driving through the canyon
magic magic
winding and dipping and jolts
playing with the canyon wind and brush
while jazz softly rhymes
with the rushing noise and cricket cries
catching quick wisps of green,
we slowed down and stopped to admire
the night's eyes winking approval,
she has appreciation for our adventures,
lighting the winding dirt road,
even when it disappears into black
we offer each other questions,
would you name your children?
would you care if you died?
et puis, j'ai chante en francais,
les choses simples, mon ami, les choses simples,
oh the simple things are magic, magic
7-8-10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
No one mourns the glory of the sky,
with its play of light and air and water,
that it is forever transforming from what it is
into what it is.
Indeed, it makes no sense to gaze longingly at a rose,
Grieving the inevitable falling of its petals.
No one fears the crashing of the waves,
Nor the melting of the snow,
Nor the setting of the sun,
Nor the passing of the breeze.

It only makes sense to not fear the Changes.

When you are so afraid of losing what you had,
the tenderness, the passion, the side-long glances, and the knowing smiles from the one who understands,
When you are so afraid of what is happening,
the confusion and aggravation, the sorrow and anger,
Every minor attackable issue exploited for a moment of attention and consolation,
You are only breaking yourself into pieces,
unrecognizable and infuriating,
down, into that ever-darkening spiral.

You are only digging your nails into your own forearms;
You are only darkening your own mind,
pulling grey clouds over yourself
when you are grasping and groping
to push them away,
falsely assuming there are any clouds at all.
1/10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Green plastic shields suburbia’s
Golden bubble from tragedy’s barbed wire.
Tinted glass domes painted with fingers.
Two-way mirrors two ways and neither.
Brown grass hills, our walls, blindness is
Our black bleep bar in front of conflicts.
We chain link-fences, omit facts, draw the blinds.
Refuse to recognize:
Conformity is a cockroach.
7/01/08
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
i wish i could grow flower meadows on my body
i wish i could grow flowers in my hair
a symbiotic relationship, human-floral beauty
root my toes beneath me
bound to earth
6-29-10
Sarah Jystad Jun 2010
I live my life in defiance.
I defy you with every preference, every decision, every passion.
I refuse to think like you, to dress like you, or to eat like you.
I don't believe in a religion.
I reject modern western values,
I refuse to care for money or for power.
I listen to indie music an electronica.
I read Nietzsche, Walt Whitman, and Diane Ackerman.
I dance to the sitar.
I'm politically liberal.
I ingest psychedelics.
I frolick buck-naked in the woods.
I make love.
I thrive on love,
I rejoice in novelty,
I exalt in sensation in
My defiant existence,
But I eat unorignality.
5/31/10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
What is the sight of blood?
The essence of our mortality,
The horror of our brevity,
The factory of harmony,
Nourishment
            life
                awe
of, in the soul's home.

The Journey:
You can explore the extent of your boundaries,
Even transcend, but not without punishing balance.
Tipping, favoring a side, pulling it tight until
The Breakage:
Crevice filling to the brim, trickling to the depths of the
unknown,
awaiting, translating

Crystallization as the realization of the
personal scheme, the ego's circus, the mask-maker thrives,
the cultivation of sorrows contrives the demise of
Our own Evolution of sighs.

CRYSTALLIZATION
The process of modern self-identification.
We must fill a mold,
Originality must fold and
Collapse into a labyrinth.

Choosing to choose the options listed in front of us,
Never looking around or inside us.

What a clever game,
Self-aware while we remain ignorant essentially.
Climbing the hills, ladders, slides, and valleys
Without choosing to excuse ourselves
To a life without the conventional rides.

Perhaps, it can be no different...

The rose grows from the ground,
Some hidden, some found.
No ears, no sound.
We cannot fly.
To gravity, we are bound.

It matters
What matters
(it matters? what matters?)

For what exists has an opposite.
For what is freedom worth without captivity?
Where would passion be without apathy?
Wind, earth?
Peace, bloodshed?
Comfort, pain?
Fury, forgiveness?
Decay, fecundity?
Fundamentalism, atheism?

The world, our world, is a world of opposites.

Our building blocks are composed of
The Paradox.
A balance of what is inconceivable and actual.

Tip the scales, and Bleed.
11/01/09
Sarah Jystad Jun 2010
Let's share hands and fall,
fall back into this flowerbed
Let's watch the petals fly
drift downward again

earthly embraces clarify

let's traverse this tree
and the clinging sap
let's sit on this crumbling cliff
and watch the dirt tumble

earthly embraces clarify

let's hold each other close
and dance to this night rhythm
let's escape into the stars
and each other's life-sparks

earthly embraces clarify
6/10/10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Laying in the canopy of trees,
Among lush, green branches,
Stretching in quiet addiction.
Offering hundreds of leaves
As an endless sacrifice
Up to the infinite
Ending with a vast void
Full of solace.
Mystery.
Silence.
Finally, the god sighs.
Blinks.
The offering untaken.
The request recycled.
The plea granted.
2/04/09
Sarah Jystad Jun 2010
Everything is just an act-thing.
A game piece, a character.
Essence of the game,
the play, the poem, the joke
is the ego.

Our genetics together
create consciousness,
The ego.

Every code, every instruction,
every message from the genes
is not in selfishness,
but in selflessness,
in laughter.

Witty humors they possess,
They know you need
an uncertain situation,
to be called attention to,
to be reminded that
it's all just a joke in the end,
and not one has a bad sense of humor.

There is the dark, poor-me, my-life-is-miserable jokes
to the bright
oprah's-monkeys-****-****,
one-day-i-was-tripping jokes

because the Spiral Source Polarity Is.

The yin and yang do not swim after one another,
there is neither tail nor head.
They flow as river-wind.

Fire and water, energy and matter,
Ego and truth are genes'
Set ups
punch lines
laughter.

Set that to infinity
at 98.6 degrees

now, the questions rise

how do I act after realizing all of this?
How can I keep playing this role?

The point is to understand
the answer is to die
as the world knows death.

Your eyes will blink
Your heart will sync with another's beat
Your tongue wil taste
You will die
as the ego knows it.

You will think
You will feel
You will realize
You will die
as You know it.

Why would I waste my time
in a place like this
with people like this

and not

in the warm, bristley buzzing glowing meadow grass
in a tree playing whistling lips to the soaring peer
bubbling out air in the ocean's riptide
treading soft chilled down on montana mountains

being able to meet soaring peer
in source element
and inevitable intimate relations
with earth or sea.
6 25 10
Sarah Jystad Jul 2010
don't ask the blind girl how you look
it's quite impolite,
assumptions are crazy trolls playing peek-a-boo with reality

whatcha gonna do about your ignorance?
will you read? will you watch? will you listen
to our words,
every strum is a pointing finger,
every sly look a hint.

don't ask the frozen guy to dance,
you'd break him in half!
melt the ice with hot kisses and
exhale finger wiped drawings

there's no use entreating the deaf
to listen to your woes and complaints,
but you should know, there really isn't any reason to be upset at all
what is there to lose?
nothing to lose, nowhere to be lost, no one to lose,
no matter what you experience,
everything is just fine, my dear
everything is just fine, my dear
7-8-10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Expulsion of fear
Touching hard polished skin
Staring at distant glassy eyes
Yearning for glints of life
Searching, a step onto
An opaque sphere of
Infinite limitations
6/09
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
Few seem real to me.
Existence justified by
Soft tongue touch my teeth.
9-23-10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Let's allow our bodies to fall back into the sea of,
of awe in sight blushing fluid leaves
enlighten hibernating trees
serenity, relax on open-faced sunflower centers
exhaling petals and half-crushed leaves for the blue above
Glide, let your body slide with the wind
Dissolve as raindrops dissipate, disintegrate, and absorb
Absorb,
Absorb
In awe
10/20/09
Sarah Jystad Nov 2012
Vivid, the memories morph into fantasy.
Stark, become the unreal details.
What seems possible occupies the space in my mind
Flowing like a dropped stone that stirs up the riverbed's dust.
Too short seems the infinite & too long before I'm content.
For which heartache shall I choose: blind or no surprise?

This has been done before, maybe during my lifetime,
But it is surely known that the moment decides itself
In spite of my delusion that I know what's best.
Maybe it's my languid nature.
Maybe biology reveals the deepest tales of our character,
Even though we each contain within ourselves the greatest good & the greatest evil.

The feeling,
when I acknowledge the infinite space within & around me,
Is freeing,
But also fleeting.

So, maybe biology remains a facet,
Revealing though it is,
For what do we know?
Much, but certainly not all at once.
Maybe we know deep inside all there is to know
But we've got to bounce along the surface
Experience the splashes as the come &
Constantly reminding ourselves
That they have also brushed against the fins of angler fish & beings long gone.

This being said,
It becomes amusing to observe & experience my biological impulses.
The expanse to which we are privy is
Simultaneously a curse & a blessing,
For what do we know but all &
What do we forget but all,
& on it flows.

11/04/12
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Wipe off the ooze, the ***** of the blues.
Put on your shoes,
Or not,
You are free to choose
To answer your cues,
You've nothing to lose.
5/05/09
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
I am sure there is more than what it seems.
Frustrated tears and tables pounded
By clenched fists and
Eyes rolled to the heavens
For some kind of patience,
Just so happen to appear whenever
You happen to come near.
7/08
Sarah Jystad Nov 2012
To the Lovers
Who are to enter my life:

It will always vary, but
What we draw from each other
Shall be the same as if
We bathed in each others' rivers &
Emerged glistening,
The gold flakes reflecting on our skin.

No matter what our paths are,
They cross at this time.
May the delight, joy & ecstasy we cultivate & culminate
Pulse through all that is &
Raise ourselves & our fellows into wisdom with pure hearts.

It is my wish that we learn from each other
The most profound information that
We have to make the other's life better
For having experienced one another.

So, Lovers, as we breathe,
So shall we love each other & others.
May we bless one another with exactly what we need.

10/15/12
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
No one informed me,
During the days of loneliness and insecurity,
Of, the sun.
Of, the one.
Of, God’s true existence,
His brave persistence.

They failed to mention,
During the days of apprehension,
The possibility of the opportunity
Of safety, of solace,
Of rescue, of refuge.

Such days those were.
Blind, deaf, dumb, bound, tasteless.
Flat, dull, plastic, damp, soggy.
Days of no living.
The avoidance of death with
Mere existence.

Simple
And
Un
Interesting.
Painful
But
Un
Feeli­ng.

Oh, how I miss those days.
That misery, that idiocy, that confusion.
Oh, or rather, how they must miss me.
4/08/09
p.s. God's true existence is Love :]
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
Grasp the whole rose,
know that you will not be scorned.
If thorns pierce your skin,
you grasp too tightly.
9-1-10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Black shawls over glass
To prevent staring eyes
From the hatred from inside.
Masks glued, taped, stapled, nailed on the faces.
“Is it true,
Self-mutilation prevents isolation?”

Why must there be pain?
Why must there be pain?

In foggy Tupperware, tinted pink,
Some firm rose jello. She did think
It spoke oddly, like a jack-in-the-box.
Walks, talks, mocks, shocks, paradox-in-the-box,
But no socks.
The jello wasn’t jello.
Jello breaks no hearts.
“He wasn’t the fellow.”

He was mundane,
It was quite in vain.

Lost in clouds of thoughts,
He saw faces in blurs, in purples and slurs.
Hiding in needles and giggles,
His heart is escaping.
He knows well bacteria multiply.
[Quite an education, for your information.]
His infection, anti-biotic resistant.
Willing, the suicide persisted.

He’s stuck in the chain.
“God, he’s in pain!”

So many broken, so many shattered,
Tucking pieces behind painted faces.
Cotton candy-covered black clouds hound
The carnival where everyone’s a clown.
Clown ashes, dolls, and masks scattered,
Behold a grand masquerade.
No kisses for Phantom,
He cut his lips on the glass.
It wasn’t random.

God, I’m insane!
I am sane.
4/09
Sarah Jystad Oct 2010
as i was lying in bed last night, my mind raced, as usual.
thoughts zipped in instants - why what who who who why's
mixed with images of imagined images,
images i have experienced or images impossible to experience - words floating in and out of each other, caressing, lingering fingertips

a few words joined at the hips and rested for a long, tremendous instant –
[eliminate connotation]
Reality is a Cage, I am a prisoner of my reality - everyone is trapped in everything - how can i get free! how do i freedom climb jump dive?! FREEDOMFREEDOMCAGEPRISONI I I I I I CAGE I AM NOT THIS BUT ALL I AM IS THIS

i sat up and rolled in my blanket so that i was cacooned AH Waarmth dropped my body sideways and my face hit my pillow
I sit up again
And look around at the black and white
the thoughts SWALLOW ME
everything we do
everything everything
self control moderation ambition
******* money
Reason law health
Children Music Epiphany
love strife religion
every
religion
every belief
Understanding
sanity
self built cages

DULL SELF BUILT CAGES

If this is all i have made for myself!
ridiculous!
why haven't i been more creative!
more colorful
OUTRAGEOUS
I am THROUGH Dulling My Existence

why have i hid in this pool of peace and wisdom and identity
in hope for understanding and existence
WHY
do i wallow in this puddle of thought!
WHY DO I MAKE MYSELF STILL


I dont want to be in the room
this black and white stillness

fear of other sways into me
i see it and i see it
dim weak feeble
I Smash it!
out out out
anything but stillness
anything but warmth
anything anything
I FREE MYSELF

BRIGHTEN This CAGE

OUtside OUTSIDE
golden ice
firm underfoot
space all around
icy breath exPAAAAND
EXHAAALE

I walk so quickly but i cant get away there are people there are things everywhere and i cant get away
there fences around all these planted trees
males playing football in the icy 1 am air
i walk through them and laugh laugh

walk walk i see a bunny and I chase it!
AHahahah DELIGHT
you must run fast when things eat you

I slow down
SMILE
my whole feels

I keep walking climb a fence
see im in a small enclosure
climb this big green metal box
sit
look to my right theres a bigger brick box
climb the fence with ease step on this other square thing
YES
i look around and scream at the top of my lungs
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
to HEar it with these ears
i
want
more
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
i laugh delightedly and lay on my back
looks at the stars
feels the chill in her fingers
allows her body to shiver
not attempt to control

gets up and looks around
climbs down
so
easy!

trees in a row
rusty red baseball dirt
scraggy asphalt rocks
geese waddling away
Vibrant Golden Night!
the lights sphere into the biggest orbs of light rays ive ever seen before!
i sit in a baseball dugout

she lights a wet leaf
smokes spindle away
outline the vague air that i breathe
she holds it up to the moon

casts off her glasses
i see it BLOOM
there is a visible entity
flows into form
pulsates
clear in the white orb

she sits and stares
ignores her stinging eyes

getting up, she climbs a fence
hops down
smooth
landing every time

EXHILARATION SENSUAL INSTANT FREEDOM

she walks once more and sees her shadow for the first time
how lovely this absence of form, this evidence of form
how unappreciated
she bows to her

she walks once more and climbs a fence once more
to walk on
astroturf
bhahahaha!
she plays with her body
Cartwheels for everyone!

I look to the sky
Stretch out arms and SPIN and SPIN AND SPIN
SINGPURESPINSPINSPINSPIN
Truth whirls beyond her
Freedom RIVERS Through Her

No reluctance, she returns to her white walled hallways
Her electronics
Freedom RIVERS Through Her
And Sleep Welcomes Her
She forgets her dreams
she wakes
while i dream
while i paint limitless freedom

:::beyond:::::......
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
How I LONG
For which I have yet to experience
How my dreams enchant me!
Half-closed eyes flicker
with transcendent fantasy
9-23-10
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
How is any of this real?
I see my hand and
I am perplexed!
How am I alive?
How do so many worlds
Ideas minds emotions
Opinions exist at once?
I can’t make sense of it.

Shall I make things
Easier and
Let convention swallow me?
Or shall I expand my understanding
To the waves of play
And see things as a game and
Expose
My tender flesh innocence
To sharp pointlessness
And still not make sense of anything?
9-23-10
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Ignore repulsion, my dear,
Accept compulsion, don't fear.
Don't let mere, bleary tears
Steer you from clear theory.
5/08
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
I know all this can be redeemed
Like smoothing out all the wrinkles in the trees.
Tangled roots untangling themselves
Simply for the sake of satisfying a salvation of souls.

But the roots will never leave the earth.
As much as I beg them to
REACH out to the sky
like their brother branches do.

The grooves in the bark refuse, too.
Too deep are they set in their ways,
Too reliant are they on their habits.
Too stiff. Too rigid.

Sad, cowardly roots, can you not for one moment transcend your assignments?
Are you so afraid to run that you crawl?
I'm trying to save you. I'm trying.
I'm trying.

But the soil is so damp with ignorance.
Deaf eyes
Blind hands hesitate before every procession.
Cripples who could fly if they but tried.

The bark remaining puckered,
The roots remaining shy.
Until one thing will succeed:
The Tree.
2/04/09
Sarah Jystad Jun 2010
I'm coming home to you.
Do I embrace your with a kiss, a hug, or not at all?
How do we act?

Love and passion tempered by distance and time,
I've fallen out of habit.
Doubtless, all has changed.
But what into?

I'm learning to observe natural fearlessness,
To be the fluid Ever-change.

The night blossom welcomes the moon effortlessly.
The river does not veer from the ocean.
The wind is the freest lover.

When my eyes finally find your face,
I know I'll smile,
and Together our lips will connect
In fervent osculation.
5/25/10- From Summer of Love
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
what happens when
the waves stop crashing?
when the clocks fall down?
What happens when the skies disappear because of fears?
what if I could taste the ocean’s tears?
what would have happened if
we had chainsawed that
nuisance of a Tree?
will I walk in a cage locked from the inside
until I die?
what if questions ceased to exist?
6/28/09
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
I see the foolishness of trying to live
In the mind-world of will.
This double vision
Dizzies me into standing
9-23-10
Sarah Jystad Aug 2010
I TRAVEL INSIDE MYSELF
picking flowers along the way

watching the mysterious insect land on my shoulder
feeling the tickle nearly not there

I travel inside myself
rising and falling with the seashore waves

connecting with other travelers
we are all foreigners
smiling knowingly

I travel inside myself
telling stories to myself

we are all swimming in this sea
we are all flying in the sky

I travel inside myself
gathering flowers along the way

gathering along the way
other travelers and other flowers
I love them as they travel to death
as I travel to death inside myself
august 1, 2010
Sarah Jystad Jun 2010
Kimartham Saatva

Slowly essence simplifies
the All Souls curious inquiry
we question and ponder
we dwell and lull our minds to wake,
grasp entreatments to effortlessly and lazily
assist the slow pull from deep in the cave.

We struggle,
strain
our muscles, wring them round
squeezing us into stress and anxiety,
anxiety's merciless choke around your throat,
smashing our hearts between guilt and shame.

Shame, you have no shame!
Good! God Bless the Shameless!

Those who fear God, don't get “it.”
They don't hear its love-filled breath through the trees
they don't feel the truth in a handful of pacific sand
they don't see epiphany in the vast, soft, rolling expanse
of the supple, green morning hills gathering the mist-fog close
to the young glitters of the valley lake,
the peace-keeping mountain peaks.
They don't think of Music of as its own universe.

When we jump off diving boards, or seashore cliffs,
those few short seconds of airborne flight-falling
Prove
We need to challenge our mortality.
Climb that mountain, that hill, that jungle gym!
Climb those cliffs, those rooftops, those fences!

Doubt is a sickly, ******* life-leech.
Fear not Doubt, nor its debilitating effects.
Fear not Love, nor the fear love may breed.

Compare nothing and no one and none.
Comparing brings the misconception of the past-you and the now-you
with the misunderstanding of the someone-else.
It's completely countereffective and can put you at a new low.
But if you compare nothing and no one and none,
the result will astound your heart and mind and eyes.
You'll jump, fall, and crash into the water quickly, and be
Enveloped by Enthusiasm Vibrant.
If nothing is compared, there will be nothing different happening than what is exactly happening at this very moment
and nothing to doubt, nothing to disappoint,
Nothing to Fear.

I am grateful for every instance of
Every temporal, circumstantial, emotional, conceptual, verbal, aural, visual change in perspective and understanding
comprehension - “getting it” - is as rare as real.
True truth is simplicity of self and possessions and ties and responsibilities;
The splendor of the Ideal Utopia is
The sacrifice of complexity and adoption of isolation simplicity.
Isolation – separation from the socially dependent on the acceptable.

The closest you could ever reach nirvana quickly:
******.
Sensual ecstasy
Tangible overload
Absolute deprivation in the convulsions of pleasure
because it's the utter absence of the sense of self.

Why else would we welcome our ******* with
Affirmative cries
oh yes yes yes!
That startle our neighbors from their lifeless slumber.
Remember, when they pound on the wall and demand that you cease your path to nirvana,
They are simply blushing in awe at your shameless approach.
They are doubting their capacity,
fearing the possibility of an inability
To Be Free.

Cast Doubt and Fear from your mind,
Maybe you've heard this before,
But in a different context.
Maybe you've been told not to doubt or question or skepticize
the concept of sin or the authority of the Bible.
I heard it all throughout my childhood.
I heard stories that incited fear and shame and guilt and confusion
and I heard lessons of love and morality and sin and authority and exceptionalism and arrogancism and mercilessness
that only made sense if taken in objectionless.
When I Thought, all I could hear in my mind was -
What the **** is all this?
Excessivity – how does the grandeur of cathedrals not nauseate you?
Obvious manipulation of the awe we possesss.

We own nothing of nature yet we insist on state and country lines,
on property, on political parties, on religious beliefs, on ****** orientation,
on wealth and health and age and wage.
Stop the ******* belief in “otherness!”
There is only ONENESS.

We delight in friendship and family and small talk and deep talk and ***
Because
They remind us
There is and is no otherness or oneness
there's only Noneness
there's only Oneness
Omni-nothingness.
6/06/10

the title is supposed to mean 'why existence' but I'm no sanskrit expert haha.
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Center pressure on the tip
Of the glassed pleasure,
Release a million particles,
Watch them rest on the air.
Thousands of master dancers twirling, spinning,
Sashaying their paths to refuge.
Inhale, exhale.
The atoms entice, capture.
Pleasuring senses with alluring influences.

Just like a ballerina, trapezed,
Carefully and gracefully
Leaning her swan-like neck
Away from her poor partner,
Afflicted by the contrast of halitosis.
Another focus of pressure:
The last of inconveniences amended.
2/04/09
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
Let’s see…
Placed among wisping green,
Between sea and sky,
Let’s have them swim
In paradoxical ooze
To see
Which see
Their ultimate intimacy
To see themselves
Sight-listening.
9-24-10
Sarah Jystad Sep 2010
hey little bird you dive in the ocean's waves to exhilarate your tongue
you swim through the clouds, feathers a-flutter with joy
you hide in the trees and bushes, all winky and coy
i'd love to fall hands-first along your side catching my little bugs and my little birds
i wish i could fly
i wish i could fly
oh ** oh i wish i wish i could fly
no wings, no plane, no parachute
so thanks, bluejay, crane, pelican,
all the birds,
for letting me come along

(what a way to die)
so happy i can fly
so happy i can fly
july 2010
Sarah Jystad Jun 2010
The concrete bench demystifies the city landscape
The planted trees satisfy the war denied
Little fly, little fly, why do you try?
Little fly, little fly, why do you sigh?
Little fly, little fly, why do you die?
6/19/10
Sarah Jystad Nov 2012
It's coming in,
Into reality. The dreams
Are becoming manifested.

It flows in,
With intention. The magic
Grows & strengthens.

It grows in,
as well as out. The evidence
remains all but hidden.

To keep my word,
To stay true to the path,
While leaving space for play,
Will guide the experience,
Come what may.

I call the subtle forces,
Be you ancestor or creator,
I ask your assistance,
To aid my heart, mind & soul
In opening to wisdom.

I feel a strange, orange
Warmth grow right now
In my chest.

There's something happening
That my conscious mind
Cannot comprehend.


10/20/12
Sarah Jystad Nov 2012
It's curious
how hide & seek is a constant game.
The more I find that which was once hidden
Was in & out for any to see
The more fun I see this game can be.

Though I enjoy the changes & what I learn,
Though I delight in the delight of others,
Though I live to be of service & pleasure,
In truth, I live to live.

I wonder why Maya, the illusion,
Is viewed by many as a thing to escape.
Maybe I've missed their idea of its incentive,
The Release while alive.
For my broken heart has healed
In more ways than one, and

Beyond my mind's idea of human capacity.
Inside & outside, the idealism knows
No bounds for my soul, and,
For this reason,
My life is here to be lived, and
I'll melt during it
and when I die.

10/14/12
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
The golden tree offers hope,
and the night field welcomes the sleepless.
if we acknowledge the forest floor,
we will find our future path
and gold and silver
and beauty in our artificial lights.
in the details of the shadows,
we are blinded by the glares.
at the perfect angles, if we look just right
we can wonder
if balance should be the goal,
and if we should take the stairs one leg
and one stumble at a time.
If we sway with the gusts,
if we lay on our fronts,
if we feel the world around us,
its texture, its depth, its tactile reverence
and blur our ignorance of touch
out of reality
the details disappear
illuminate
the subjects submit
and pose for the moment
their value is recognized
their simplicity,
their essence
emerge,
envelop,
captivate,
trance,
in awe
of this evidence
can you imagine?

Are you not beautiful until someone tells you?
Are you not worth every chance of focus?

Attempt effortless existence,
Release your awe
fall where you lay
fall asleep as you blink.
Goodnight, all everlasting.
10/26/09
Sarah Jystad Apr 2010
i sit.
i close my eyes and see the white spot between them.
would humans be smarter if we had a third eye?
a third source of visual information,
wouldn't that increase our brain size?

i sit.
i feel my tongue in my mouth.
it feels like sunflower sandpaper and
my gums feel tight - like someone's pulling them up and
molding my lower face into a tiger muzzle.

i sit.
i can't feel my nose unless i breathe,
every inhale brings a slight flare,
a slight awareness that
sour tastes are much more appealing than sour smells.

i sit.
i try to relax,
but everything is distracting.

i sit.
i want to do something ******.

i'm getting up.
April 4, 2010
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
Know that I love you more than ever before
Know that our souls smile together,
Wisely content with the other's existence.
Know that with every second's passing
I sigh,
Feeling within the deepest enclaves
Of my heart and mind,
That we have years and years
that we have yet to expect to have
To love each other.
If you are tired,
Rest.
You are strong enough to be content
Without me by your side.
When I come home,
When you and I meet eyes and
Release our tears and smiles
of relief and joy,
All that opposed our happiness and peace
Will
Fall
Away.

I love you,
And you love me.

Time apart neither negates nor emulates.
Time together is hearts' ecstasies.

I love you, universe.

Sarah
Sarah Jystad Feb 2010
I refuse to risk my life for you
Until you swear to open your eyes.
Eternally forbidden
From preventing
The destruction of caverns.
7/08
Sarah Jystad Nov 2012
To flow
Lost in the mind of unattachment~
Relation floats to the top,
Bubbling in iridescent mounds.
Blood spinning full body,
Taken ancient ritual
To lands unknown,
Abyss flies,
High collapse,
Forms dissolve to absorb.

Human knows, mankind blows its ashes
Into the sea
Where fish nibble surface gifts,
Crawl to form surface, lifts
Familiar exotica,
Erotica basks
In sunshine frays,
Grays may blend broken rays
Off the pleasure. Desire
Bubbles & brews to the top,
Furling into forms to which our touch is born,
Our travels sojourn,
Ever sifting, filtering the moon & the sun.

Feeling joy form & torn,
The reverb sung & proverb born,
Chug on, truck on
Traveling Celestial Mist.
The smoke sends its message to our ancestors,
Thanks & quests, may we rest &
Face our tests &
Jump off the highest crests &
Flow down through the darkest depths.

Fearless, shall we be, tearless, never be.
The taste & the smell, Earth’s story we shall tell & retell to our kin,
Our progeny rebel against the story of sin,
Announce the return to our dance, making sense of the din.
We may collapse the columns, but in deep truth
The cycles form regardless of ruth.

With that knowing smile,
A goddess wraps her finger
Round his golden locks,
Open, as always, they dangle and glisten,
If we would listen,
The fear would instantly disappear,
Jeers against the queer would shift into gear
To endear us to the weird &
We would cheer!

The dampness will burn,
The heartache will churn,
Our souls still yearn for
That moment when we lose it.
The bruised tips healing in the instant,
The shock waves reckon this is it
& the feedback expatiates past the limits.
We already have the wildness,
The bliss of expansiveness,
Still spinning in the Spiral Ever Endless.


10/28/12
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