As the night grew weak and tired I sat alone in my room. The static was turned off keeping everything quiet. Still, I sat alone in my close quarters of familiarity and wondered what it was like to be you inside. Inside my mind, inside my soul, inside my heart I never used before. The hurt and pain that I never knew existed would take me and break me into a million pieces. The anger inside that was never resolved would grow colder and colder until it was frozen over. I sat and wondered what it was like to be you inside, inside my mind, inside my soul, inside my heart that I never used before.
It's hard to move on when someone keeps reminding you of your past.
Constantly chewing away at the back of my ear.
And all that I want to do is get rid of the memories fast.
But now I am reminded of the past, too Clear.
And it tears me up inside, telling myself, "That was you."
Feeling sick to my stomach from the mistakes made.
But such a stronger person that I have developed into.
This new person I've become, my mind you won't invade.
For I was the one who had to live through it all
And I was the one who had to survive the great fall.
So don't remind me of my past and tell me I was wrong.
Because those mistakes I made and that person is long gone.
I have not felt regret in a long time.
It's a feeling of remorse and loss.
Like I have committed some kind of crime.
And I am the defendant.
And I am the plaintiff.
For the witness was I, and I can say nothing.
Because either way, I am in the wrong.
Because it is just me in this case.
So please don't remind me of my rights.
Don't tell me anything, for that matter.
Because everything I say is held against me.
I heard it all before, words served on a platter.
Now it is time to leave it all behind, no view over the shoulder.
The regrets and remorse will be left at the burial site.
Never to visit, only to bury; the hatchet and the lies,
That I once have spoken before. For the closet it clean
and the graves are hidden, wiping the slate from all that is forbidden.
Written by Sarah Johnson.
You smiled and I could see the lies seeping out through your teeth.
You didn't think that I would notice, but I can see whats beneath.
And now, since I can see as clear as day and you don't know.
I will continue to play the game and I will win in the end.
Because I am the only one that knows that there are two players.
And not one.
There is no competition because I have already won.
Days and days without a word. Days and days nothing heard.
I'd **** for just a hello, but your just not that fellow who will come running to my door with your knees on the floor.
You're not that fellow who would make that bellow.
I can't make you be the one who makes me come undone.
I can't make you be the one who stays during the midnight sun.
Your just not that fellow. Your just not the one.
Gone for a while, never saying goodbye.
Gone for a while, erasing you from my mind.
Wondering if you were looking into the sky,
on those nights when I realized you let me behind.
Gone for a while, I am fine now that your gone.
Gone for a while, the curtains have been drawn.
Appearing when you want, and vanishing when you please.
Don't you realize that you left me weak at my knees?
Thinking you can come ang go whenever
But you don't realize that I am far too clever.
Written by Sarah Johnson
From there to hereFrom here to there.Take me somewhere but not too nearTake me somewhere where I wont care.Take me to a place where I wont regret.Take me to a place that I'll never forget.Take me with you, always by your side.Take me somewhere, where I'll never have to hide.
This poem is written and copyrighted by Sarah Johnson.