The water envelops my body like liquid darkness
Each tendril of fluid wrapping around my wrists like sticky cellophane
And zip-ties tighten
And I claw
And I gnash my teeth
And I scrape each current with my toenails
as I kick
              and kick
                           and kick
        and kick
And the water flows through my fingers like whispering sand
And I am slowly being pulled under

I tell the tale of beginnings so hard they sting like concrete wall on broken right-hand knuckles.
I tell the tale of scraped knees, of palms full of gravel from sidewalk paved with disappointment.
I tell the tale of bitten fingernails, and bitten cheeks, and bitten lips, and bitten pencils, cracked joints, shuffled feet, downcast eyes.
I tell the tale of taking it, from whoever gives it.  Taking it and letting it seep in through pores you thought you’d covered up with band-aids.
I tell the tale of training each corner of your mouth to defy gravity, even though physics is just so hard to beat.
Though I tell these tales of grey and black and brown, I also tell bursts of red, of yellow paint sporadically spattered over bright azure sky.
I tell tales of pushing, pushing into that sidewalk with every millimeter of your body, straining to beat the gravity that keeps pulling your smile down.
Muscle takes work to build, and each day as your nose inches away from the ground, you will build memory, build houses.
Brick houses that even the Big Bad Wolf can’t blow in, despite his astounding lung capacity and sheer force of will.
And every time he tries to muster up a breath, you can tickle him ‘til he laughs all that air out.
Because you can play ping pong with physics
And tie helium-filled balloons to your lips so they rise to the heavens,
And physics has a ****** backhand serve, so you can beat him with both eyes closed.

As I gaze into the mirror, mother, I do not see,
I am blind, mother, so very blind,
Blinded by hate, bitter and hot in the back of my throat,
Hate towards the one that looks into the mirror,
The mirror in front of me,
Please mother, help me see.

Just a little verse for you,
One for days of black and blue,
One for days of rain that pours,
When the wind knocks on your doors.

Just remember to go on,
With every night there comes a dawn,
See the sunlight in my eye,
I look at you, and see the sky.

I had love once,
I had it in my chest,
In my forehead,
Flowing out of my fingertips.
I had love once,
Made my heart gallop sideways
To a rhythm in a symphony only we could hear.
I had love once,
I had it all the way home
When your lips
Whispered into my cheekbones,
"goodbye."
I had love once,
Once upon a time
When the glass slipper still fit my two left feet.
I was in love once,
When sweet spring breezes
Gently tucked my hair behind one ear.
I hated love once,
because while I closed my eyes,

waiting,

You plucked each puzzle piece from inside me,
And left me with a half-finished picture of what love is supposed to be.

I caress every angle,
Every curve,
Every rise and fall,
Every swell of your unified chaos, caught,
Behind black bars,
The sonorous bass,
Like boulders rumbling beneath my feet,
Walking on the concrete,
Conducting my heartbeat,
Your resonant forte flowing through my veins,
Lighting a cold fire deep inside my chest,
Submerging my body in fluid sound,
Making my fingertips tingle,
As waves of audible emotion intertwine with my soul,
And let me feel,
But all must come to a close,
Everybody knows,
They sigh and say, "That’s just the way it goes"
Like ashes blown away on an errant wind,
You leaves me with a silence so loud, my ears ring.
But I can hear my spirit sing,
Like boulders rumbling beneath my feet,
Walking on the concrete,
Answering my heartbeat.

Every time,
The world is spinning,
Far too fast for my eyes to follow it,
And things just seem,

     Out of control.

Spilled milk,
Spilled tears,
Spilled tomorrows,

Careful son,
     You've got hate on your hands,

See what happens,
Trying to calm,
Roiling seas,
With a thin, straight line,
Crooked bones,

I inhale,
I exhale,

I whisper

Find the beauty,
Follow it,

Follow it.