My mom always told me "we want the things we can't have".
And,
I never fully understood what she meant by that.
But, the time passed by and I realized that she was right.
And now,
I know exactly what she meant.

I knew right away when my heart broke for the first time.
He,
Did it without any hesitation.
No second thoughts, no sympathy and no true feelings.
He left me standing there speechless,
Not knowing what to say.
And definitely not knowing what to feel.

And after my young, grade 8 heart broke into a thousand pieces,
Started the depressing music and the sappy love poems.
So I guess it's thanks to him that I'm standing here today.

I question myself everyday,
Because, I can never seem to get him out of my mind.
It's almost,
Like my subconscious is in love with him,
But I'm not.
The constant thought that pops in my mind like a balloon being struck by a pin whenever his name is brought up.
The constant thought that is: I wonder if I thought I loved him because I couldn't have him.

I wanted him like a child wants candy.
I wanted him like an athlete wants a winning medal.
I wanted him more than anything.

The feelings he left me with were feelings of "how do I move on?"  
The heartbreak I suffered was too much for a 14 year old to go through.
And now the odd time I see him I wonder what my life could've been like if he'd only given me a chance,
But, he turned me down like I was a penny in the middle of a pile of quarters.
Not valued, not wanted.  
And nobody should ever have to go through that.

I sat hiding behind walls knowing that he was with her.
And I only wanted the attention that she got.
But after all, I was just me and he was everything I dreamt of.
And, even though I dreamt of being swept off my feet by him, just wanting to hear those charming words he fed all the girls.
I knew it would never happen.
My story with him was no fairytale.
In fact.
Instead of being saved from the tower, I was trapped in the dungeon waiting for my own happily ever after.
But, I knew it wasn't going to happen,
So I kicked off my glass slippers,
But, all the tiny pieces of glass just came back to stab me in the heart.

I spent countless nights crying myself to sleep just wishing he could feel the same way.
And before I knew it my pillow was a pool of tears that surrounded me, each drop reminding me that I would never have him.
Because, he was a chapter in my book,
And I was barely a line in his.

I don't think I loved him.
I don't know if I love him.
But I just wish I knew what it would have felt like to hold his hand, or here him say "she's mine".
Instead,
I wore a fake smile, acted like he didn't matter anymore and walked away.
But part of me still wishes that I could've just said "stay".

The past is the time that we have lived already; the times we've made our mistakes and the times we've created memories.

The past is the time that doesn't last.

We only know how important it was after it's done.
But why can't we just realize the good things while they're happening?
If we could freeze time, everything would turn out perfectly.

Our past consists of many moments we reminisce of, but those moments wouldn't have happened without some people.

The people we create bonds and friendships with, and if you're lucky you'll create the most amazing friendship with one person; and you never know, but that person might just end up being your hero.
You'll love everything about them; their smile, their personality, their words or even their voice.
You'll share your interests such as songs, poems or even just whatever makes you H.A.P.P.(Y)
These people are the people that you would do anything for.
You would do whatever it takes just to make them happy.
And this person would give up their happiness just to see you smile.
I guess my point is: memories would not be made without the people who mean the world to us.

Don't get me wrong, I love my life and how it's turning out, all I'm saying is that I think it's okay to re-live those moments that gave you butterflies and shivers.

So take the risks;
ask that person to dance at the school dance,
tell that person how you really feel about them,
make pacts so that you know your friendship will last forever.

Take the risks, before it's too late.

They say "you can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one"
But the truth is, I don't know if I'm ready to let go of the past, and frankly, I don't know if I ever will be.

How am I supposed to feel beautiful when everyone around me is effortlessly gorgeous?

How am I supposed to feel beautiful when people point out my flaws?

How am I supposed to feel beautiful if I only like how I look with makeup on?

How am I supposed to feel beautiful if the reflection in the mirror isn't what I like?

How am I supposed to feel beautiful if the reflection in the mirror can't be changed?

How am I supposed to feel beautiful if this is all I am?

I can't stand to live my life watching others pretending to like me.
I don't see why people throw themselves at me and then just.
Leave.
I sit and wonder what did I ever do to drive them away from me.
I think I'm kind and fun to be around, but I just always feel like I annoy everyone that surrounds me.

Sure, just stop talking to me even though I never did anything.
Oh! And then when you need something just come crawling back and of course I will accept you because that's just me.

Just me! Maybe that's it.
Maybe the person I am isn't good enough for others.
Maybe when I act like myself it's annoying to others.
Maybe my personality bothers others and that's why they shut me out.
Maybe I should just stop trying to be the centre of attention and go on with life watching from the outside.

If you want to leave, just don't make it about the person I am. My personality. Me.

She's nice;
Lets take advantage of her.

She's nice;
She won't mind if we talk about her.

She's nice;
It's okay if we spread rumours about her.

She's nice;
Lets walk all over her.

She's nice;
She would never get mad at anyone.

YES! She may be nice but that does NOT give you the right to treat her like crap. She is a human being, she has feelings too that sometimes get hurt when people don't take her seriously. So next time you think you're not bothering someone because you don't think they mind...think again!

Missing you is like having part of my heart missing;
Not being able to function and always feeling a constant sting.

You're my other half and I can't survive without hearing your voice;
I know you're a million miles away and didn't have a choice.

I think about you when I wake up and when I fall asleep;
The feeling of us being separated hurts me way down deep.

I'd give anything just to be sitting next to you;
I'm sure you're thinking of me, but you probably have no clue.

I thought I would be able to handle the long distance but really, who was I kidding?;
I can't stand the thought of us being apart but still the miles are forbidding.

I want to be there next to you holding your hand;
I'm really just hurting myself thinking of you and this faraway dreamland.

Love honestly can't handle distance;
And I'm trying not to think about it but I just can't be resistant.

I can't wait for the day that you return and we can be together;
I will be the happiest person and everything will be better.

Have you ever taken a picture upside down?

How about walked into a store completely out of your comfort zone?

Have you ever sat at the very front of the roller coaster instead of the middle?

It's all about perspective.

Have you had lunch with people you've never talked to?

How about travelling to a foreign country you don't know anything about?

Have you ever sat on your roof and stared at the stars?

It's all about perspective.

No matter where you are or what you do there will always be more than one way to look at things; that's called perspective. Everyone has a different perspective about everything and usually we travel the safe route but why not change your perspective and look at the world differently.  You're perspective may be from doing something that scared you,  like riding the front of the roller coaster. Or you realize how small we are by looking up at the stars and remembering we are part of an enormous universe. It's all about perspective.