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Feb 2012 · 744
Death by David
The **** that I do not give overrides the **** that I do.
But then again the **** that I do give is only contemplation on the hurt I have bestowed on others at this very point in time.
It is only due to the hurt I've used and abuse to hurt myself.
In turn this self hating hurt has hurt my friends, father and pretend mother.
I am selfish.
Self-absorbed, self-occupied, self-threatening, self-conscience.
Me, me, me, me, me!

They do not understand.
Every night is a bath of salty sweat, blood and tears.
Visions leaking out from my mind projected on dark walls, staring me in the face.
While, in next-door rooms, cousins, brothers, fathers, mothers, sleep silent and happy dreams.

I brought it upon myself.
Popping merks in a dodgy town.
Talking to David at the church while crowds of cartoons watched.
Confused, anxious and ever so angry.
TALK TO ME!
NO, SHUT THE **** UP!
T'was all a mistake that should never have been made.

It wouldn't have been so bad if the events that were to follow had never happened.
Drug accusations that were vigorously and victoriously argued and lied about.
So, now I'm left with two options.
Come clean and confess this mess,
Or, keep it all inside and continue with this selfish protest.
Feb 2012 · 856
The Trees, My Trees
I'm surrounded by trees and empty fields
and the monotonous draw of everyday day life.
But the trees they are beautiful,
they'll shadow my fears without a shadow of doubt.
But only the trees.
The trees.
Man is too self-absorbed to be truly affectionate.
Man cannot help, with words.
My lovely trees.
They do not speak.
They do not move.
They stand a silent justification to mother earth and all she has done.
Jan 2012 · 774
Always
A rock on an island,
Cover it with sand,
Place that rock,
In the palm of your hand,
Hold it forever,
It becomes a part,
That rock in your hand,
Obscure, outdoor heart.


Music so sweet,
Silence so pure,
The day we met,
I was given the cure,
Fixed twice, last fix,
The past is gone,
Twisted and stiched,
Till it's done.


Come find me,
I'm not lost,
Finders are keepers,
Whatever the cost,
The day's over,
It's all just begun,
Everything aside,
You're the one.
Jan 2012 · 656
Theories
The eyes in the trees are now looking at me.
Observing and judging, the ins and the outs,
Of relationships all around.
Questions and answers talked about
like general matters.

The sky cannot fall, it surrounds us all.
Holding up the moon and the stars
And the sun.
Knows all the secrets since time has begun.
Evolution and theories.
Theories and queries.
Jan 2012 · 2.5k
Defiance
Merging the surges.
Converging the urges.
Surveying and delaying.
A brutally soft touch.
A swift tug.
Scramble to the rug.

Hop, twirl, stamp.
Intrinsic epidemics.
Employing harsh thoughts.
Enjoying warm laughs.
Instant confusion.
Undeliberate actions.
Sub-consciencely projected.

Magnified emotions.
Disrespectful conclusions.
Foundations laid, entrusted.
Irrigation failed, erupted.
Defied by fate.
Jan 2012 · 624
Tea Time
Erratic emotions flowing over the hill.
This emotion subsided by numerous pills.
Feelings held and hidden deep within.
Illness confined by smiles, a grin.

Suddenly the tables turn and
With a swift flash of his sword
The doors open wide and inside
There is a spindle of spinning
The walls break down and
He crawls right in there
Screaming and thrashing.
She hurls it all shut .

Silence.
It is all complete.
Just for this week.
Maybe a day.
Nothing to say.
It is all known.
We built our home
Jan 2012 · 806
Convert to Copulation
Parasitic, pathogenic, permeable membrane,
No one else can think the same,
No one else can write this book,
Most of them don't dare to look.

Monstrous, mutating, miracle shame,
The only one to breath the name,
Crushed under a secret square,
They're all gone to my despair.

Beautiful, brilliant, baby boy,
To what do I owe the joy?
Holding hips and meeting lips,
Silent beds that rise and dip.
Jan 2012 · 652
LISTEN
The meaningless meaning of the words said
They accomplish nothing, not the thoughts in my head
I've got the feeling of feeling
Only through the feeling of drinking
Numbed to the words from your mouth
The words I will never shout

Can you self-examine the situation
Look at others and take their bad compilation
Adjust it to yourself, gazers and on-lookers
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
Probably not, I'll wait and see
Jan 2012 · 2.1k
Dynamic Dynamite
Complex innards of the female form,
Unrealised by the male definition of the world.
Intensity grabs a hold,
Locking me harshly onto the cracks in-between.
There's no such thing as enough.
More and more till faces are torn.
Slit in two. Sown up. Slit in four. Sown up.
And so on.

There's no needle, skin, key.
All useless paraphernalia.
Inserted into the flesh,
Then poured out at death.

Empower myself with the force of control.
Uncontrolled self-control  lost to control of others.
Sunken by unwanted wanting of the sub-conscience.
Never to be fixed or forgotten,
Just left lingering in the abyss,
Eating away at you as you distaste yourself.

Visitations upon our corrected correctors,
Bringing solace for short periods.
Thrown fiercely under the bed to be forgotten again.
Convicted to lives of self-mutilation,
Self-deprivation, self-contemplation.
Hidden behind glistening eyes, just lies.

Stand, sit in ****** lanes peering up at the moon.
Lungs slowly growing blacker, laced with tar.
Hindsight is a curse, ignorance-bliss.
All held inside a shaking fist, shaking unwillingly.
Unwillingly shaking, kicking walls
To knock down, insane with powerless power.
Unhinged, unattached.
Inside, growls to torture.
Outside, smiles to assist.

— The End —