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Sep 2011 · 708
Treading Water
I'm just that girl you love to lust
 because they never seem quiet enough,
 an understated lack of trust, 
Your kind words are simply, just

 slow and steady is all I ask, 
A slower pace then my ugly past 
Hold my hand, stay by my side
Let's sit together on the ride of life

Through stomach dropping hills
We put miles on the wheels
Heading to anywhere different 
Then the truth of her world

From the sounds of the tides 
To the familiar highs 
As each town passes
The butterflies fly

Never again tell me goodbye
Dont promise me everything Under the sky
Save the gossip and silence the lies
And we can give this chapter a fighting try 

Demand your spot and draw a line 
Please understand things are different this time
Everything slows to nearly a stop
And I suddenly see what I've suddenly got 

happiness sits awkwardly on the edge of the seat
Reminisce on past days when you'd offered defeat 
Grudges seemed dropped unjust and weak 
Another attempt is worth trying it seems 

Tread the water, carefully
Don't give me less then honesty
Whisper the truth that I need to hear
Softly, slowly, in my waiting ear
Sep 2011 · 1.8k
Puppet Master
Forever and always she made herself stand,
holding on to nothing but an ever-fleeting hand
Relentlessly holding an already shattered man
She blinded herself with his over-sized fans
 
Impressively outspoken she was nothing like them,
she allowed herself to simply comprehend
Always will you assume that which you "know,"
but please understand, this wasn't any puppet show
 
Never before had she really understood,
rhetorically she screamed at the deafening looks
Praying for more then a stiff right hook,
asking her nicely to move more than a foot
 
Bending and curling, spinning and twirling,
her mother never dreamed one day she'd be swerving
silver-tongued, smooth as they come,
she found a puppet master with more ammo then guns
 
One by one he strung them through,
he controlled every move she tried to pursue
Never did he think his strings could fall loose
One day they did and he was left with a noose
 
Puppet Master, haven't you heard?
You cannot put strings on this wild bird
She'll shake and **** until she comes untied
And when she gets out she'll stay out for life
 
Tiny dancer, break free of his song,
you knew you could do better, all along
Remember its true, just believe you are strong
And never again can they tell you 'it's wrong.'
 
Don't stress the small stuff, just move on
His strings are hers, and you're better off
Believe what you say and say it every day
The book can't continue if you don't flip the page
Sep 2011 · 804
Smile
I hope that you smile at the butterflies that flutter on by, 
and chuckle at the things that seem awkwardly right,
I hope you lay in the field and stare at the clouds, 
Sink into the sand that won't let you out,
catch a fish so big your pole breaks in half
and cry so hard that you just have to laugh.
Laugh so hard you can't tap out
and scream so loud you loose the sound
because its the little things in life that really count.
And when the day seems long..like it just won't end..
Remember that tomorrow you start over again..
Nothing in life isn't worth the fight,
stand up for yourself and defend your rights
fight with dignity and demand respect
fight for this life, hold no regrets
Sep 2011 · 638
Clouds in my head
Can you love the broken pieces that make me who I am?
Or do you only love me when I fit into your plans?
Don't give me less then all of you,
because I'll give you all that fates allows me to
A wing may be broken,
a tear may be shed,
but I promise you happiness in every moment thats spent
Like the only novel that you've ever read,
I'll forever be waiting with clouds in my head
On a dream that feels similar to the hand that you lend
Talk, feel, trust,
Don't mistake my love for lust
Forever simply isn't enough
The dreaming girl believed in luck
And got untied, he had her stuck
Flying again, she understands
Everything happens just as planned
L.o.v.e.L.i.f.e here lies a broken wing,
finally the caged bird feels blissfully free
Aug 2011 · 1.2k
Breaking Free
Chapter after chapter you would read nothing but laughter
but line by line the truth seems divine
eloquently she side-steps the faults in her life
and slowly but surely she rekindles whats right


In her heart of hearts she knows whats real
she understands how he makes them feel
delicatly speaking with clear conviction
she explains their faults while they refuse to listen


Eager and proud she countinues to try
knowing full well they tell lie after lie
compassionate still, she stands by their side
and watches as stars shoot themselves by


Be quiet my love, don't blink an eye
instead sew them open and lock onto the sky
wait for the moment, when you know its enough
make a simple wish and believe in simple luck

Once upon a time, a long time ago,
I believed in myself and wanted everyone to know
then you came along, handcuffs were ready
you closed my eyes and made sure they were heavy

Now I'm on a mission, a goal is in sight
to never again let a man control my life
I am strong, faithful and bright,
you'll never see me fall, finally beliving in my rights
Jul 2011 · 829
Mirror
I looked into the mirror today...
Found that it had a lot to say..
So I sat myself down in front that girl,
And asked her to explain her complicated world

I ponder the past with emotion like glass
Knowing full well his love wouldn't last
I got caught in the fall and couldnt get up
Half full or half empty it's still half a cup

No one to run to, no one to call
No one who understands, not even at all...
No one to hold, no one to tell,
For so long it was you I called for help..

The stories untold, unfinished and dry
The truth left undefined like shapes in the sky
Deciding each night if it's still worth the fight
I selfishly pray you'd stayed by my side.

Oh this mirror, how it saddens me so,
I would love to rip you out of there and help your mind grow..
Do not loose hope, new friend of mine,
All things get better if you allow them the time..

Reflection I see, be good to me...
You no longer have a solid search team
The empty threats are useless now,
You can ring the alarm but they won't hear it sound

If there is anything I could tell you love,
Be good to yourself and accept strangers hugs
Remember you're strong, and you always will be
Remember you're smart and always worthy

Don't let them break you,
As fragile as you are
Don't let them find out
Or ever see scars
...
Mirror, oh mirror, i see you better it seems...
I wish that you clould now see me...
Trade me spots, for a day or two?
I'd like to see the world from your point of view... "
Jul 2011 · 519
Slowly
Whisper the things that I want to hear softly, slowly, into my ear.. 
Remind me calmly you will hold me near and curve my undying relentless fear..
Breathe your breath onto my lips, become my next new favorite fix.. 
Quietly see, theres still life in me, and can potentially accomplish anything..
 
If all you could hold was a shaking hand,
would you still write memories in the disappearing sand? 

If all you could have was the half of me,
would you think it worth it when I'm running free?

Slowly softly sweetly sing, a song about me,
let the bird spread her wings, but always hold her closely..
Jul 2011 · 1.5k
Remind Me
Remind me what it feels like to loose my mind in a heartbeat,
Remind me everyday what it stings me not to say

Remind me right now, before everything fades away...
Remind me that you still might be there if i need you someday.

Remind me of the sunsets,
Remind of the headsets,
Remind me of the necklace
and all the simple set backs.

Remind me of the progress, that never was enough,
Remind me of the success, never the lack of trust.

Remind me of the weight you held, before all was broken down,
Remind me of how lost I was, spread hope that I may be found....

Remind me of the days I threw away the crown...
Remind me why i stay awake, when my eyes still want to drown.
Feb 2011 · 560
Questions
How do you know when the time is right?
Does it kick you in the *** or slap you in the face?
Or does it sit by the water and paitently wait?
Is it yours to look at or mine to take?
Is it like a match, a one strike date..

When will I know that it is what is?
Will the stars align like an angels kiss?
Will the doves release and the choir sing?
Or will it feel like anything?

Will you scream it loud like your favoite song
Or whispear it softly like you might be wrong?
Will you grab my face and look in my eyes
Or hide in your thoughts to your own demise

Will you Hold me after and repeat it again
Or leave me hanging without means to this end
Will we fall into our dreams tonight
Or walk away without a kiss goodbye

What happens when the words are said?
Help me settle the thoughts In my head
Do the best to answer the few
Pleading questions I have for you
Feb 2011 · 1.2k
Chicken
The headlights are coming at me,

I thought that they might stop,

but suddenly it hits me,

truly like a rock.

Down I go, lights are out,

here I lay, what was that about?

When I regain my senses & ask around,

the medic informs me

someone tried to warn me.

Now here i lay, all drugged up,

whole body hurts, waiting for the nurse.

I ask her to help, this is just my luck.

Guess you shouldn't play chicken with a Chevy truck.



"He will never **** you, but he will save your life if you allow him to."
Jan 2011 · 712
For you
I'm tired of being afraid that everything is changing.

I'm afraid of the mistakes that I seem to keep making

I'm afraid of the demons that haunt me while i'm sleeping

and I'm uneasy from the feelings that won't stop their screaming. 

I'm terrified of the comfort level 

I'm scared of the truth

I'm horrified of the trust, 

Mainly my trust issues

I want you to know,

nothing will ever change

you will always be the one that makes my heart race.

I will always love you, just the same as today

because no matter where we end up, you will be worth the chase. 

and while sometimes I know, the truth is hard to face,

There will never be anyone that can take your place.
Jan 2011 · 988
I miss you
I miss you...

I miss you like a starving shipmate misses land..
I miss you like a new dad on tour misses his new born baby he has never seen before...
Like a child that cries as they wave their parents goodbye...
Like a field full of farmers that miss the clouds in the sky...

...I miss you...

I miss you like an angel would miss her wings
Similar to a bird that again wants to sing
or the elderly man that can no longer see
I miss you more than a slave longs to be free...

I miss you.*

Suddenly torn from the world that we know
I need advice and you cannot answer a phone.
I need a hug but remind myself you are no longer just down the road...
If you hear me, let me know you made it safe...
let me know you're home...
Jan 2011 · 508
Why
Why
Her shifty eyes see his bold face lies
she seeks the truth to his own demise
salt pours out as she begins to cry
screaming to anyone

"WHY!?


Why....?!"

She sits there silent as she waits for a reply..
the only thing she hears is lie after lie
and back to the questions that eat at her insides
contemplating thoughts she fought hard to hide
the truth pours out of her traumatic life
and the dreams she once had have suddenly died
absorbed in the night of unheard goodbyes
walking away without fear in her stride
wishing he would do nothing more than try and make it right
wishing that the problem would suddenly find
a new place to harbor her unwelcomed plights


And it seems to her that everyone knows...
like everyone’s in on this big funny joke..
She stands back and waits...It’s bound to play out
She listens to every side ignoring anger and doubt

"The truth will set you free" *she says aloud
blinded momentarily, she laughs..
How did her life get so off track..
When did everything flip upside down?
Why are these lessons feeling so profound...?
Whatever happened to the queen and her crown?
Jan 2011 · 768
A Simple Song
I remember a song that I used to sing,
I remember it loud and I remember it clearly

it spoke of the trees, rainbows and bees
it described each of these things, beautifully.
It rang of the whispers that the clouds held,
written in words that only angels could spell
it gave home to every emotion I felt

suddenly shattering my innocent shroud
repeating the words without any doubt
But with feelings so urgent it turns to a shout

...and the song still sings of these beautiful things
but with a new passion and intensity
the song is sang calm but the chorus holds strong
and as the song ends the wounds start to mend
emotionally drained I fall asleep again

but as the darkness of my eyelids begins to fade
each word begins taking shape
the trees and the bees and the beautiful things are all suddenly just within reach...


I remember a song that I used to sing. I remember it loud and I remember it clearly.
Jan 2011 · 731
About a Boy
I have a story for you,

Come quick and listen

Take a seat this will only take a minute

This story is about a boy,

Young, maybe 5 or 6

Bigger then the world

Still slaying monsters with sticks

Fighting demons inside his Spiderman kicks

Running from sharks, no idea what this is

The playground his world, he was the king

He would fight anyone that dared to touch his queen

He opens his mouth spit out the words of his dreams,

Slow down a bit as you begin to see

Every picture that he is replaying with ease

He is pouring his heart out, speaks of explicit memories

Reliving a time when the ends met the means

Going back to that day when life was a breeze

There were No bills to pay, no boss to please

Just a sandbox and his skinned up knees

Just a teatherball and two missing teeth

no cares in the world when he was in that seat

There was no reason to wonder 'why are we'

the only questions to answer were answered simply


But as you listen to the story I tell,

listen to the words that fell from his mouth

take note of each one, line by line,

for this my friend could be the time

the stories he speaks automatically rhyme

and pictures are built as the story climbs

Higher and higher, the tears begin to fall,

and suddenly were at the top of a very tall wall

looking down on the people, they seem so small

but this is his kingdom, his place to brawl

these are his people, the words his end-all

for when he opens his mouth...

...stay quiet my dear...

do not speak back, don't even wipe the tears

let him continue, speaking without fear

see the weight lift off his heavy heart

this is what we call a piece of art

pure - real - free - childhood memories

a hand to hold is all he needs

remain silent, thankful, grateful and true

he will take care of his people, he will pay his dues

he will slay the dragons that try and fight their way through

he will remain at bay until the time is right,

beware of the rebel that hides in the night
Jan 2011 · 631
Dreams
I whisper to you softly in the frozen night
My breath reflects off the empty pipe
You look deeply into my open eyes
And the steal the words I try and find
You put your mouth on mine and breathe in life
Reminding me of the thoughts that got lost inside
I gasp for breath *
You smile as if you'd never seen death 
And suddenly I speak,
The words come out unbareingly softly..
Time slows down and the silence rings
My heart is waiting it wants to scream
And your answer is silenced by the Phone that sings
Back to bed my love, I'll see you in my dreams
Because in my dreams is where we live 
Where we dance and have everything to give
Where worries and struggles don't exist 
And every problem is solved with a kiss
No one is hungry and no one is missed
Just me you and everyone in bliss
My dream is full of the gardens you see
Vibrant colors and redwood trees
Garden nombs and endless ****
Open your mind so we can all be freed
Never Again will I watch your eyes bleed
For my saftey net surrounds you for eternity
But caution my love, don't you forget
It is here where the devil once slept*
Where the seas were angry and the serpents crept
Where the montsers appeared from under my bed
Where the man jumped off the 20ft ledge
The same place I hide all my worries and dread
But If this place is safe and you feel okay,
then take my hand and we can run away
Jan 2011 · 656
7 Shot Revolver
I'm reminding you I'm lost
but subconsciously I'm not,
cause I think you're the only one that gets what I've got
you give me butterflies like gut rot
and you've got my tongue in knots
doing what I can to not let it stop
cause you picked up the weight but don't let it drop
I'm invested in this now and can't afford the loss
my heart was locked before you opened up shop
turn the radio on and sing to me Aseop
I'm now on a mission, make sure i'm out of earshot
cause when the truth comes out, I won't give it a second thought;
Remind myself I'm worthy of everything I've got
Because weakness is not an option, and you are not a God,
Confidence forgotten, I realished in what I'm not
and then the clouds they cleared and relvield was the plot
I let my gaurd fall loosely, I felt my heart unlock
suddenly reminded the key does not belong
ripped out of the hole, thrown down the block
I am standing on my own, my vision seeing spots
Today will be the day, I will take the shots
...
From your 7 shot revolver, 6 had them stunned
Only 1 left, and with it you took the sun
"your order is ready sir, but you seem like your done,
so remind me again, what is you want?
SAC? is that the one?
Well here's the check, its time to pay,
Take your time, I'll be here all day.
"
Jan 2011 · 637
My Bag
I have a little bag,
I keep it locked away,
Tightend with a pad lock
and locked with a chain

It stays in the closet,
Without mention or thought
Cause this bag of mine
Is it's own pandoras box

And I fill it up,
Almost every day,
With the questions and comments
And things that you say

But this bag of mine,
It's getting full you see...
But opening it
Just might destroy me

And that is a risk
I just can't take
Sorry my love In the closet it stays
But this mornig things changed ..

I went to the bag and found the broken chain
The pieces spilled out like childs play
I'm un sure now of what to do
But pick up the pieces two by two

And but them back in that bag of mine
Lock them away for good this time
But as I reach for each piece
The reality hits me,

This is my life and these are my feelings
Scattered around like a puzzle you found
And dumped on ground It's game over now

You wanted it open and now it is,
Good luck finding where each piece fits
Jan 2011 · 1.3k
Close your eyes
Take a moment,
Breathe.
Close your eyes
now count to three..

Envision one thing you want today
make it the only thing you see
Convince yourself that is it
and then watch it become reality

Open your eyes and remember to breathe
All you get is all you need
so, open-minded innocent child
Break the chains that hold you back, Be Free.
Jan 2011 · 488
Lost
You tell me I don't talk enough
but when I opened my mouth you told me it was to much...

You spoke of a world that I had never known,
one that knew nothing of me

You spoke of a life that I had never seen,
one that seemed foregin to me

You preached of a way that could better each day,
but one that scared me

You asked for my hand, you asked for my heart,
'mr. fix it' was ready from the start


So I gave it you... all that I had... you knew full well it was nothing..
I stepped in your world, I became your queen, owned up to everyone and everything.. I did what I could.


But, Pain does not hold limits, it does not stop when the tank is full, it does not slow down for speed bumps or stop for passing cars. The train we call pain pumps through each one of my veins and

I am again, lost.

Again,

I am broken.

Mr. Fix it didn't calculate for this one.
Jan 2011 · 599
My Book
while I sit in the room alone in the dark

I give nothing but time to these awful thoughts

Eating away at my decaying brain

the weak is weakend by the constant pain



I'm doing all that I can you see,

giving you every single piece of me

yet here we are with paper and pen,

you can take my blank page and fill it in



because how I hear it, correct me if i'm wrong,

is that this is just your unwritten song

So you take my heart and string it along

is it your arms that I still belong?



like a little girl I sit and wait

make a wish and count on fate

this is the mess that you have made

took the book and destroyed the page.



and on the shelf I go again

lost in space with a few more friends

collecting dust and making amends

waiting on that other hand he lends



Take a step back, make sure you're certain

I feel like you are writing your own version

my chapter said this and yours said that

so here we are with half an act



So tell me what is on my mind,

read my book before father time

take my heart and spill it out

read each line slowly without any doubt



You think you know this book,

better then anyone here

I think you misunderstood the point,

you've read only one chapter....fear'



Theres a few more chapters you need to read

the easy ones, like friends, and family

cause those are the chapters that i've written before,

something I know about a little more



The chapters missing are far to advanced

the ones I can't write because I don't understand

like love, and loss, and breaking hearts

I hide from the truth alone in the dark



Alone in the dark on that shelf I sit

just an over read book that no longer fits

as time goes on I ponder a bit

flip through old chapters before I finally quit



The future is bright, or so they say

the unwritten words are ours today

so take the book off the shelf,

take me down sense you've offered help



grab my pen and bring me paper,

this book of mine we will write together

you will talk and I will listen

reading off the pages that have yet to be written.

— The End —