Like the last time
-Sarah Wojnicki

A look, a smile-
look away, and back again.
You feel her
leading you into temptation,
seducing you with her smile.

                                                  Seduction at its finest.

She looks so bold
with her lips blood red,
begging,
please touch.
An allure you know
you can’t ignore.

Lost youth
Lost, wandering, a young girl looks for help,
but her small, contained snow globe sees no end.
No sign to show her safety
of what dangers lie ahead

Regret, that’s all she feels,
For her adult choices that lead her here.
Her world is now tilted around, like the snow globe
That contains her.

Trying to reclaim a youth,
an innocence,
that was lost the day she picked up the blade.

Wondering where her life has gone,
she sits reminiscing about the times when she would glow,
before she felt the need to hurt,
before she was shaken up in this trap of solitude.

Falls upon an answer,
but skins her knee.
There is always something she must give
to find her peace
some skin,
her youth,
anything she can mistreat.

Perfection
Rejection
Through playing this game of intrigue
       What will she do
                                   When will she mess it up
                                                                                   I cant wait till she messes up…
Wrong motives
Bad intentions
Just wanting to play my game

Confusion
Judgement
lust for inclusion: finally passed

“If you give up your deepest, darkest secrets, you need to trust that person wholly”

They talk of You.
They question You,
just like me.
Struggling with the question,
“Are you really there,
or is this a dream?”

A vision of You
comes to me.
A blank canvas with eyes and a mouth,
speaking words I do not comprehend,
telling stories I don’t know.

How am I to trust you, faceless God?
Divulge all my wicked thoughts and secrets
into a man who I can’t see?

Your words, preach them,
make me believe.
The façade of enlightenment You create, that
so many see

Prove it,
          Test it,
                 Give it to me.
Produce your words and stories
into actions I can actually see.
The answers that I need.
A life I can truly be proud to lead.

An idea consumes your mind
Making you believe in its truth
Pushing you deeper, it starts its feed
Feeding on all your held beliefs
Till there are none left
Infecting you
Overtaking you
Resting within you
Tricks you into believing this is where all is right
As you succumb to the infection, this dream world appears
This idea takes you into the dream world
Living life as you think it should be lived
You stay in this new, wonder-filled world.
Forgetting what’s true
Until you see it…
A small projection of what you use to know
It sends shivers and spasms throughout your body
The truth comes flooding back
Like water from Katrina
You want to
Need to
Escape
The damage is irreparable
Irreversible
Forever left with the damage

Theres a lingering beat in her heart
A beat she’s been able to suppress
Yet an occasional THUMP from the beat never likes to digress

Theres a tight knot in her heart
A knot she’s been able to detangle
Yet sometimes that tight knot still likes strangle

Theres a shallow stone in her heart
A stone she’s been able to dismiss
Yet when mixed with envy, the stone likes to reminisce


There’s a person in her heart
A person she tried forget...

Yet despite what happen, its the one person she'll never regret.

You’re never going to find the girl,
That girl you’ve been looking for.
With the long black hair and eyes a shade of sky blue
You’re never going to find that girl,
The girl you’ve been looking for.
With a perfect smile and a passion the same as you
You’re never going to find that girl,
The girl you’ve been looking for.
With an unconditional love and acceptance of you
You’re never going to find that girl,
The girl you’ve been looking for.
She’s locked away in your imagination
With no chance of escape
From your sick, disastrous world.
You’re never going to find that girl
…The girl you’ve been looking for.

Ceridian waves consume my soul, my being
Take a hold on my body that cant be released.
The feeling tightening as I fight back.
The pressure is building up inside me
Forcing an explosion,
A bomb on my heart
Ticking away as I struggle.
Counting down till final blow.
Its inevitable
Yet I fight back,
Fight for survival.
Fight for life.
Fight for my heart.
I will always fight back.

He lies in his rickety bed, shaking from the thought of it,
Of the memory that constantly haunts him;
The moment it ended.
Arriving so quickly and swiftly, he almost missed it.
It almost slid right by him.
He caught the moment right before it’s end
He held onto it with all his strength; he wanted to examine it,
Find its root, its core, its purpose.
Digging deep, he arrived at it.
Staring, with wonder,
Amazement,
Confusion.
“How could this be?” he said.
“How did it come to this?” he speculated.
As he stared at his reflection, he realized what he had done.
He gathered himself for a moment and sighed.
He took this precious object and used it.
Used it to the tenth degree
And then, used it some more.
He took no care of the now valuable object.
Swinging it around, letting it follow him in the dust.
That’s what he had done;
Broke his toy.
Now he is barricaded by this experience,
Not knowing if he’ll ever fully recover.
Pushing something so precious away
Pushing it so far it broke, into a thousand tiny pieces laid out on the floor.
This is an image he will never escape, never fully grasp.
A tiny broken heart, spread out on his floor.