It's taken months for me to realize
That I can no longer dream if you
And still feel like a sane person
Or even remain remotely whole

Time has been harsh not helpful
With moving on from your eyes
And sweet smile even though
It gets me every god ****** time

Love was something I feared
It was something I needed from you
However it has become very clear
That we are long in the past

Everyday I attempt to say goodbye
While everyday I am forced to see you
It's a constant cycle of pain, regret, and
Longing for something so unattainable

But I will continue to say goodbye
I will let go of this anchor one day
Because I know I am far better off
Without you anyway

it would be entirely selfish of me
and too much to ask of you
to keep our attempt at love
a secret from the world

it would be a terrible shame
if we decided to part ways
i wouldn't survive
no i couldn't

it would be all on me if i asked
for you to chose us not her
and you missed out while
also losing our friendship

it is such a challenge to last
i don't know how to love
but i pray for a miracle
like maybe we would