Down the pathway-- I can’t believe I’m telling this to
I jump frantically-- I can’t believe I’m saying this
On one foot-- Disguised as if a face,
And I leap into the ground-- Bled and grasped for advil
An ending near the pathway-- Of nuclear bombs and shrapnel
I start moving slowly-- It was inside her also
I let out a yelp-- It was inside the autumn leaves
And in between the footsteps-- It was beside the mountain
I learn to walk I learn to talk-- It was when all the water
I can’t remember anything-- It was beneath the river
I can’t see where I’m going-- To hold each other in our hands
I’m constantly invading-- Time after
I can’t hold back my screaming-- I can’t remember time
Time before this-- The territory’s mine
Time while we began-- I can’t see where I’m at
And take our final stand-- Except before the path
It was beside the sea-- I learn not who I am
Slowly came and covered me-- I hop and hop again
It was beneath the valley-- Toward what is to be my death
It was inside the words of every song I heard-- And take in a deep breath
It was within the residue-- Where I am to begin
It was within the seething hands which-- As I come to an end
No one except me-- As the other is impaired
It was in every waking dream and every smiling sorrow-- I jump without care
It means nothing, even tomorrow-- Toward the river
I don’t know what it means-- Every burning footstep

Why aren’t your eyes--- there?
In two places--- where water should be?
Moldy residue--- absence of vision, tears
From those bullet holes--- you ought to see--- your own ambivalence
Fall down my cheek
Terrifying--- Me, with nothing for both us
Automaton, my weakness
Intellect, disease
You’re my body
Cage
You're my spirit
Doubt
Justice and horror--- within, without

Anhänger of bands
Parades in here
Your voice
Feverously
Dancing
In my skull
Coming from our mouths
Each ****** idea we think
Careening through my body
Embedded in my DNA
Spelling out and adding up to somebody
Who somehow
Is,
Just …
Holding on

Those of like mind
Stepping down corridors
Toward blurring red signs
Each extrusion an exit
Hapless movement
Containers transported
Memories and anguish
Containers transported
Into meadows of ease
Between trees minus leaves
Nothing but a reflection
Degenerated façade
Ashes vaporized with
Consciousness, my boiling
Water

Blindly swinging at the wall
In front of my face
Although it is behind me, too
One continuous layer of separation
From the world beyond, the world we cannot see
I swing again I swing again
I swing some more
And connect only with absence
From this earth
Absence from reality
Sheltering my worried shaking head
I tear you from me,
I tear me from you
I’m confused
I don’t know where the ceiling is
I don’t know why there’s a sky inside my room
I don’t know why my basement is flooded
With air
Please just take every last breath of
Cyanide
Please just take every last gift
To the poor
Please just take every last effort
To undo your wrongdoing
“Bad times ahead”
And take them with you
When you stop being me

If you think it will stop
Don’t
Hold on to the railing
Jump
Over the edge
Onto the sidewalk
Separated from streets
Marauding, rubber tires pummel
Surveying alleyways neglected and
Trash cans brimming with disregard
It’s lonely here, as if each pebble were a
Reveler
Ambivalent toward you
Unkempt and stiff
As if petrified and disavowed at once
Ignored, timid
Apathetic discharge
Free,
Fallen
From a short, raised canopy
Of steel
And wood and
Bones and
Dust
Chalk; dried on a lesson
Conveyed
Battalions, battalions
Marching
Avid miscreants
Scurrying
The masters couldn’t paint as fast
And each trifling matter
Marches past with
Battalions
Battalions
Battalions
And Stones