the coffee was cold.
a day old.
i heated it.
poured it.
fought through it.

put on a b-film.
something about crap
films made our lives
feel more fulfilling.

we laughed.
exposed every flaw.
we held hands.
snuck
loving glances.

i have to wake up in three
hours, but all i can think
is life is luck,
even for the dumbest of us,
when you tell your
eyes to open up.

For years I ran from it all
As if locking up the thoughts
In dark quiet rooms would
Somehow stop them
My last full night
I was ten years old
And the curtains made a shadow on the wall
I was there alone listening to the wind
Watching as the shadow turned into an image
I cannot forget

It comes to all of us although I never thought so soon
I am angry at myself now for finally noticing this world about me
In these moments...I feel awake for the first time
I hang to each heartbeat
Each inhale is heavy in my lungs
Here I am at the end without the words to describe
The beauty of all that is around me
The gust of wind against the window
The house creaks around me
Crickets outside chirping incessantly
They are my only witnesses
Will the blast from this shotgun silence them for a moment ?



Ive wasted enough time
I loved deeply I believe
I take comfort in this
It is quiet now
So quiet here at the end
No music, no band playing
It's time now


I hope I come back as a bird

Today, I am a high school boy:
timid, petrified, unsure.
My heart heaves
with its every beat.

Today, everything seems difficult,
even the simple act of breathing.
Perhaps it is because I don't
have your permission to do so..
and until you say when,
I will hold my breath.

Today, I am uninspired.
You are my muse,
and you are not here,
so I might take the day off
to daydream.

Today, I belong to you,
as I did yesterday
and the day before that.
As far as I can remember,
I've always been yours.

But I am young. Naive.
Too trusting. Too vulnerable.
And so I cling to you...
or at least the idea of you.

Today, like every other day,
I find myself consumed
by my fascination, my obsession
with this tireless pursuit.