Je beaucoup cherchais
Poussant les immeubles j’ai pensé de savoir
Creusant les endroits qui me griffées
Tirant les rideaux
Mes crayons, mes bras, et ma pelle ont m’a dit,
« Ceci, C’est tout. Donc regarde le soleil même si ça fait mal,
Et sans même devoir lui parlé, tu sais ce dont
tu ne sois jamais l’une qui goûte l’or, parce que
c’est partout »

Mais après avoir eu mes doutes
Comme quand la lune n’était pas la chose terrible
Dans le ciel qui marque la condescendance dans la terreur
Mais elle s’est levée avec du calme
Et notamment quand la fugue de ma pelle m’a fait découvert la lumière jeune
Par accident, j’ai frappé une énigme consacré

C’était quand je suis parti ma grotte
Le monde a l'envers
Et trop lumineux
Et trop tangible
Et plus vaste et réelle que je n'avais jamais connu

Je mets mes lunettes
Et avec l'aide
Moi- un univers d'atomes- je suis devenue un atome dans l'univers

My hands pace out both pain and pleasure
Though my bones may tire from the relentless chase
I began with an echo of a gun sounded by man
The visage of a cruel mistress, my spirit is plunged
Into the corners of the cosmos,
       the cray, the quam, and the quivvy
You may use me to measure your own panics and pursuits
Though my own face is stoic, harsh-an honorable messenger
I do not mark the ******
But in their fatal perils
I am ripped from some wield-hinges
My arms still grasping to their convenience
And am cursed for my omnipresence
You granted me my meaning
Now grant me my name

A mocking, a knocking, a rock at the sill
I untilled out the fill like mill undistilled
A swoon not too soon- at the moon's right prevail
A pail-friend, a trail end, and a heartfull of ale
A whiting, a blighting, a light-hollow place
Undisgraced I defaced the lying lier's place
A sweat-vine, a death mine, a whetted time, my beau!
In the shallow grave's hallowing, comforting bow
A mocking, a knocking, a rose on the sill
I lay his arm over me an pray I fall ill

I saw it a few days ago
I chanced a glance into the void
The place in which all emotions fall and seclude themselves
The place where there are no stars and there is nothing but loud space
She'd just tore away from me
A small tear in the muslin
But she pulled and pulled
Until the void was exposed in my shredded star chart
That subtle darkness in the undertones undulating thickly
Turbulent waves beneath the glorified surface thinness
And behind the closed door it-
It was just a second really
And the hopeless scientist behind me
The dark and big and pragmatic and meek
He didn't see
But he knew
And he wanted it back
And again
She left me frayed

In another winter
Before I could look to the skies and find meaning
When our world was lit only by the fires of forthcoming fears and futile flickers
What clouded the far-off pinpricks, the soft pinching of reality knocking at my door?
It was her straight-edge fragility
And her straight-edge solution
Now her world is lit by a different kind of fire
A fire that numbs
So she said
A fire that heals
So she claims
A flickering flame that destroys every membrane of my being
And binds my hands to my feet
And shoots wildly across the sky
So I cry
And I weep
And I, a universe of atoms
     feel like a lost atom in her universe
I safely encased in my crinkled paper, but
Hot holes slowly eat their way through

No maps or constellations face any competition before her
But all she sees is a world of comets and fire
My short fuse is wilted
So she unzips her skin with a zippo
And she freezes time
And she runs across my horizon
Bright, beautiful, blazing
She is forever above my hands
Her path unseen and unforseeable
A spectators daydream
The astrologists' nightmare

The stone prophet calls, "you've got some work to do, son"
Moon's sleepy coruscation wake before me runs
I instead reflect the light of the pulsing hot sun
To blind all the answers until the question's given up

A light warm and safe and easy to unfold
For another to wrap 'round your tongue and your nose
But my dance you catch in your searching eye rolls
So I refuse to bow and to pick up my rose

Because light is simple and reflected and not mine
Far easier to slice into thrices and dine
On the fine wafer fillers and loose-legged wine
Because though light is heartless- it's far from unkind

So why must I face, then, the undulating moon?
The immensity, instensity, the blue lover's swoon?
The well of reflection white clarity in tune
To the spotted man crouching, denying his rheum

My starry knight buckles and falls down depleted
In a panic, I frantically get my men seated
I wring out the cosmos for what I've become
As I turn and say
"You've got some work to do, son"

Sometimes I sit in my cold, clammy gray
Then a jovial red, or a honey-gold will pass by
I perk up, lose the dust and become a blindingly happy white
A quip, a quirk
They leave
Return to monotone
Return to gray

Fix me, for I am torn
Stitch me, for I am worn

I wrote it all down, Ma
Many times, all for you
I dug it all out, Pa
Every word, each line is true

"Do you need," you start to say
"To leave the house today?
"To walk outside and leave behind
"The anger you display?"

Perhaps its come at last
My moment the levy breaks
I open my lips but the wire is tripped
"I'm fine," a smile, a fake

But I left the page open
The tab with my last poem
I think to myself, "**** it to hell!"
And bring safari back to home

Is it even worth it?
The wound from afar is small
A scrape, a cut, we all endure as much
But then the other shoe falls

Should I keep it up
My facade, dramatic and spritely?
Or like in the song I've not for so long
Should I let it burn brightly?

Fix me, for I am torn
Stitch me, for I am worn

But put down the ******* needle
I'm fine