blowing bubbles through a straw
                            into my chocolate milk, satisfying pops

and suddenly I am homesick, I miss
my mother telling me to

             stop.

it's suicide
really,
cigarettes.

but the wistful
thin milky smoke
reminds me of peace
that I never feel anymore.

the drag
the heat
and I drag my lungs behind me on a gravel road
but the hit
I take
feels
safe

craving
to wrap my lips
around a death trap
an expensive
killer
beautiful
cigarette

She lied to the nice man
told him
I'm fine
and kept walking
he was swallowed seconds later by her insecurities
never to be seen again.

there's a place up the road where the **** of this town meet
The city, is so *****, you catch infections from the street
The creatures congregate, their motives cloak and dagger
Occasionally, i can be found, drunk i  stumble and stagger

I can't breathe, suffocating in this poison town
A terminal social cancer from a carcinogenic crowd
Suffering melted skin from the acid rain,
Fried nerves from bullet burns shot through my brain

And you're polluting my eardrums
With your toxic verbal sludge
And your tarnished silver tongue
Is lapping up my blood

Let the boy try along this bayonet-blade
How cold steel is, and keen with hunger of blood;
Blue with all malice, like a madman's flash;
And thinly drawn with famishing for flesh.


Lend him to stroke these blind, blunt bullet-leads
Which long to nuzzle in the hearts of lads,
Or give him cartridges of fine zinc teeth,
Sharp with the sharpness of grief and death.


For his teeth seem for laughing round an apple.
There lurk no claws behind his fingers supple;
And God will grow no talons at his heels,
Nor antlers through the thickness of his curls.

What starts out as a simple night,
'Hey, wanna chill for a bit?' turns around.
It was just a movie, I thought, no harm no foul.
But sitting on my bed, we got rather close,
And still I wasn't worried, until your arm
Draped over me. How warm, inviting....
You're so comfortable and firm,
Your arms are so welcoming...
Your tongue brushes against my ear, your breath my neck...
How does a hug turn into something more?

A slow movement of your hand,
From my back to my shoulder, then lower,
'Till some how I am pressed against the wall
With your hands at my sides pulling me close.
Your eyes kiss me first, your nose gives me a peck,
God those kisses are the worst... Leading me to long
Just for those lips of yours. But Lord your touch...
Your eyes kiss my cheeks, my lids, my lips,
Just as your hands reach my hips, my *******.
How did a Hug turn into something more?

My God, the heat that inflamed the room,
And its just your body pressed firmly against mine,
Your hands squeezing, touching, memorizing...
You let my hair down, I simply can't stand the heat,
You spare me with your free hand, knotting its fingers
In my hair and pulling my head back. Now I can't see.
But your lips start to dance along my shoulders and neck,
Your teeth tap and slide along the bone and flesh.
Your hips grind up with mine as your hands continue their play,
How does a hug end up this way?

Before long your lips are with mine, your fingers tangled with mine.
Not to much after my blouse becomes a hassle,
And you fling it from my body soon to be joined by my bra.
I watch in awe as your eyes kiss my chest, before you
Kiss your way down to the peek of my *******.
Your hands and your tongue are skilled assassins to me,
I can't fight, I can't hide, and honestly I don't want to.
Not to long till we are both naked on my bed,
How did a hug turn into so much more?

Your teeth tease my skin, nipping playfully at my *******,
Your hands creep between my thighs, I'm running out of breath...
I can feel you up against my leg, pulsing, dying so far away;
You have to be the gentleman now of all times?
Your hands once again at my hair, pulling my head back
Just to reach my neck, your hand playing between my legs.
It took to long, it felt like ages before you joined me,
No music, no background helped keep us in time.
All the while we danced entwined, Your eyes never left mine.
How did a hug become something more?

Fireworks, Flame throwers, a waterfall of colors,
The night had passed and I'd not seen it coming.
You had wanted to leave hours ago, had we danced so long?
You don't want to leave, you keep kissing my mouth,
Begging and pleading to let you stay, if only for an hour.
We are friends and nothing more, and yet here we are again.
How on earth, I ask again, did one hug, turn into something more?