To love without expectation is foreign to most
The idea has never once crossed there minds
it is how we where brought up
an eye for an eye
a tooth for a tooth
a love for a love

SerenityA truth I have sought over a lifetimeIt can be fleeting, fickle and hard to hold on tooonce you do it is like your favorite blanket or worn in pair of boots

She puts it all on herself
when the fault is mostly his
She does not want to see that her once beautiful world has been smashed
Broken by his self loathing, his anger, his dishonesty, his greed.
He wants with the touch of his finger to turn everything bitter
when she is so sweet, so innocent
He has everything
but discards what is most precious
most beautiful
He would the entire world if he could
Flood the plains with his *****
Call it a lake and name the whole ****** thing after himself.

This tangle of feelings you left at my apartment
is consuming me
leaving me exhausted
and at the same time wanting more

The other night it climbed down my throat
and made it's home wrapped up around my heart

It is heavy as it is tight
Its mass tiny, yet it's weight enormous
I know that I want it gone
at the same time don't know if I could live without it

It has been with me for so long now
If I remember right, since long before you
You have only made things more complicated
my grip tighter
the feelings, ugly
the light darker
the tangle more complicated

all of a sudden and without warning the answers to my problems are coming down on me like a good fall rain. They are keeping me up sometimes nights in a row. I am delirious, but they seem to make sense somehow. It is if the universe is channeling its energy straight into me. The negativive I have carried with me most of my life seems To be pouring out of my feet and fingertips while positive comes in through my heart. It is overwhelming and intense, but I know I will come out the other side of this wormhole much closer to being a whole man.

The birds turn circles in the sky, completely unaware of the goings on bellow them.. No knowledge that most of mankind is caught up in a ritual of repeatedlybeating our heads against a wall. The birds are totally at peace as they carry out a ritual practiced for thousands of years.

In my dreams she is an angel
who comes down to me from the night sky
to sooth a heart that burns like fire
to calm a mind that will not sleep
to calm my fears and tell me that I will love again.

We have yet to meetPatiently I have waited, biding my time.day dreaming of youthe time we will spend the wonders we will whitenessthe songs we will singthe love we will sharethe heights we'll reachwill all stand as evidence to the grand mystery our lives have become.I love you

all of a sudden and without warning the answers to my problems are coming down on me like a warm  fall rain. They are keeping me up sometimes nights in a row. I am delirious, but they seem to make sense somehow. It is if the universe is channeling its energy straight into me. The negativive I have carried with me most of my life seems To be pouring out of my feet and fingertips while positive comes in through my heart. It is overwhelming and intense, but I know I will come out the other side of this wormhole much closer to being a whole man.

I have got to get out of this place
Not sure how I got here
I keep looking for outs
all I seem to find are ends
I am stuck
spinning circles
around this giant head of mine
at times I get dizzy and crash
only to wake up and do it all over again

my baby sister

she is searching , reaching for something she may never find.  That will never stop her from beating her head against an imaginary wall. I do the same which is why it hurts me so to witness.

When the drink takes hold I am pushed beyond the limits of my consciousness
It is a place where there doesn't seem to be a bottom
A place where all is dark and nothing grows
As I fall I there is nothing to slow my decent
Falling fast, but at the same time standing perfectly still

Every-time is the last
Right after this one which will erase the boundaries that keep my mind out of the deepest of dark places.