There exist an embarrassment,
when your dog chooses your friend over you

you know its not the animals fault
but it sure feels like it

its interesting how we place faults in things other than our own

Its been years
since I've written something authentic to myself
When i was 15, writing was my hiding place

but now, i find myself
struggling to elevate my work
but the more i try, the worse they are

pretentious! tedious! full of a pious girl's empty words.
I felt pressured to change the world,
to write something remembered by

but today i awoke.
fully, and tired of writing words i barely mean.
in a society driven by authenticity and originality

i am, authentically me--insignificant, but fun to read at least!

my lover had statues
beautiful pale ivory skin
just like his.

he rarely took me seriously
said i was a child
under his great art, i succumb

I will always, faithfully,
be his muse
under his light, i flourish.

intertwined, we awoke burnt out in ash.

i picked up a new book
to find myself writing along
tapping to the beat of someone else's life

if only i could travel to the far west
where the mystery lived
to sing the songs of ancestors passing

i woke up in my dark bedroom
my thirst satisfied, my soul refreshed
the joys of reading.

I feel consumed by the thought
of dark colors rising up in my veins
like the woman lost in the yellow wallpaper
I lack the effort to lose my mind
until i go totally mad.

She chain smoked
of course, it was the 80s.
She hated herself
of course, the girl is fat
She felt her face sting the entire night
of course, he had a very long day.
She believed in herself
of course, she was foolish

and she continued on,
letting everybody make excuses
so she chain smoked.

I just wanted the world to see me
but I dont, because even I can't see myself
I look into the crystal glass
and couldn't see a future
just bursted dreams and a wicked fortune teller
she tells me things so horrible
they can only be lies

and so I lie alone on the stone pedestal
my skin bronzing under the sun
my bones toughening up with rain

I just wanted the world to see