I feel sorry for my mom
Not for the bitter lady she has become
but the little girl who dreamt of bigger

I so fear that I will feel a slight relief
leaving flower at her grave.

The rose will die tomorrow
when the winter frost finally catches on

but today the fall sun still shines

I swim in a small pond
and there I find comfort
they tell me that I can only grow
as big as the pond I live in

but what is wrong with being small?
I like the small pond I swim in
for I know I wont grow if I go
I will drown.

No one ever shows you how fleeting it is
they warn you
they will shout those words into your ears until they bleed
but you wont listen until you see it for yourself
The next chapter comes even if you dont turn the page

Excited to read on.

Im back again
back in this hole
I seem to only write poetry when im not well
no one I know will see it.
But im back again

I want to say ive been here before
but I dont think ive been this deep
I want to say this is an old friend
the coping mechanism is so familiar
but does its teeth look bigger this time?

I wish I could come back on a better term
it seems like im never well
but really
I only write poetry when im not well.
Anyways, im back again.

War is a terrible thing
at the whims of chess masters
who sacrifice pieces without care
pieces of flesh and blood
product of love and hope

War is a terrible thing
those who crave it
likely never felt the rage
of loss and grief
of pain and fear that stays long into the night.

War is a terrible thing
in the light of your enemy's eyes
behind the rage and behind the fire
is a fear of broken promises
of a place no one can return to.

War is a terrible thing
to evolve is to learn to be without it
and to live in a place where we can return.

My mother wore pearls,
like her mother before her
those pearls will sit on my neck too
and I will add a bead
it is only right
for the pearls to be heavier each generation

like corals that stack in the ocean
our **** ups shine back in our children
we are ruined by old pearls before us,
and them ruined by those before them

the cycle will never break
so I wont have children.