I do not look at the stars and think of the immensity of the universe.
I see them as quiet selfless guardians, the kind sisters I always wanted.
I am their sister, their daughter.

With eyes like a lunar eclipse, I stare at them and say "did you see that?"
As though the occurrences of my night were
their equivalent of a shooting star.

I hope they see all my smiles the size of galaxies,
Where my dimples have their own gravitational pull.
I hope they smile at the boys I show them
And remark about similar he looks to their dear friend, the man in the moon.
I hope they see the supernovas these boys inspire.

And I hope they see when my tears fall like meteors,
Leaving comet trails on my cheeks,
Or when I feel like there's a black hole developing in my chest
When my supernovas start to collapse.

I tell them the tales that they will connect into my constellations,
They will tell each other the stories that are the reasons for my shapes.

I do not look at the stars and think of the immensity of the universe.
I look at the stars and hope they are amazed by my personal immense universe.

thank goodness, thank God, for you

thank every possible god, every being,
every collision of matter, every exploding star,
every instance to ever occur,
for you

thank goodness, thank God, for you

Last night, I dreamt that you died

And I woke with shaking lungs,
And lips of pale blue
My mind musing on if I wanted to continue breathing
If you were not breathing too.