“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. - Captain Corelli’s Mandolin.
nov 1, 09
you had me standing with chattering teeth in the novemeber chill. the first time i had spoken to you in weeks. i was holding myself together so well. and then i broke. like you knew i would. hell we both knew it.
red box.hat.scent.shirts.skin.warmth.silence.depth.heart.wrecking.
we­re held to the touch of wrong. the sweet eyes of hidden truth. you have now set me up twice but i like being taken advantage of when its you taking.i am the perfect descripiton of your sweetest downfall, your only downfall.i want this all to come. come straight into me again like you always did. i mean i saw you smile when you wanted to walk away. but something in you made you stay.you could have broken my grip in half but instead you laughed at the jokes you wished you didnt have to hear. and i know this never happened. we never happened.ever. so im writing about a night that didnt exist.your hands slipping over skin.trembling under the brush of your hand.shaking all over like it was happening all over again.
“everything is so ****** up now. what do we have to lose now? everythings all ****** up.”
“am i just going crazy cuz i miss you?”-atmosphere.
i think you were impressed by the outcome of my words.

this is why i still sleep in.
you’ll never get enough of the ending.
the sweetest downfall is all you can ever want in your life. you complain im too involved and now your convinced.
this never happened.ohh we never happened.
why do you drift so far from the heart that once loved you so much? the heart that still wants to love you but is pushed so far from the shores of your pulling tide.you threw out my best days like they never existed.but the love is splattered across your soul like rain that fell over our skin.
“i dont care about you now…your not mine”
we just fall so far away from the good days that meant the world to me. the days that im sure meant the world to you too. it was all for you. all the effort to make you smile all night.
the conversations are now so meaningless and everything is different to you but to me nothings really changed. im still a piece of me for a piece of you. waiting for the honesty. waiting for the conversation to even begin.
and i know that i was never safe there but i did nothing to get away because we all know im not the responsible type. i just wanted to hear your thoughts.and i hoped they would include me. but you’ll never hear from me again because i started missing you the next second. so no more pressing ears to hearts to listen to beating.
“come back on the weeked forever. cuz you dont mean to shake that way.”

equivacol memories of my past present and future
writing other peoples papers better than i can write my own.
music is my only vice on these cold days. These independent sounds breaking waves and my spirit.
being omnipotent in a fantasy world. learning to trust the ones i need. recognizing that need.
procrastinating my daily missunderstandings.
stalling to make imperative decisions, remembering undying affection for a persistant happiness that is impossible to reach. only to let that effort slip through those fingers of deception.
as i linger in and out of minds of those less deserving corrupted corrupted young souls. you're the only voice who's vibrations floating in and out of my atmosphere held any distinct significance.
idealistic reminders pushing our hearts. the ones we try so hard to ignore.
time was on our side and ironically we ran out. with ones heart in ones mouth you are spilling out secrets meant to be kept between you and no one but eternity.
the inconsiderate notions we carry are losing depth.
breaking glass into a million little pieces like those broken moments.
lets sit and decipher those indescribable images with mega pixels transfering what words cannot.
this is all what were avoiding.
skin secrets burning into my memory like affection. oh how dishonest our acquired tastes has grown.