Blame it on this inconsistent weather. The rumble of the thunder shakes this old southern countryside to its brink. It is the middle of the day and the sun is hiding beneath layers of heavy clouds waiting to empty themselves comfortably. The wind is gentle but still awakening the trees and it is cold enough to numb your thoughts. So I will sit out here with my skin exposed and let the air wrap around me and remind to feel.

on a highway of mislead youth with a direction of simplistic minds. Driving towards crisp air on a complicated night we revel in the idea of our youth and its consumption. Taking me on an intergalactic adventure where the stars eat our hearts and the Blacks roll sweet smoke. A spliff blows lost minds into straight highs with red eyes between dizzy lights. Your eyes dart in unknown directions like the wheel to the left and a lovely sigh on the right. It is love it is a mess it is corruption at its best. I find my time based on the sign of red lights. We are so close to summer and the beginning of our next plunder that we sit spinning far into words of another so perfect they come alive between our fingers and kiss our skin with the promise of another chance. Constantly swaying to the beat that shakes underneath us and rattles our hips like those boys do our lips and we fall into a place that has set the pace for our transitioning moments.

who loves me. He loves me in the morning when I am still shaking sleep off my exhausted body. He loves me as I tip toe to the bathroom to wash the night from my skin. He loves me as toothpaste falls onto my shirt and I continue with an uncaring agenda. He loves me as I toss clothes across the room attempting to look decent for no one other than myself. He loves me as I toss on running shorts and a shirt with gym shoes just because I might at some point decide to go to the gym. He loves me when I change the song 100 times while were on our way to the craft store. He loves me as I drag him through aisles of baked goods because I think I can make a hobby of this. He loves me as I spend money I don't have on things I don't need. He loves me at the end of that day when we are eating the messiest foods and I act like a child making a mess. He loves me while were in the shower. I know this because he washes my hair and doesn't mind me spilling exhaustion over to him. He loves me as I poor myself into the bed far too early and he has to tickle my back as I slip into sleep. He loves me for these things and I love him for these things.

You become messier and let the nights events take a toll on your tired body.
I can feel your exhausted spirit finding refuge in my friendship.
I will carry the weight that you cannot sustain.
As you drift into a place of drunken words I let my heart ache for you.
I ache for you to find a spirit who will love you like I do.
A shoulder willing to take this weight off of mine.
A hand who isn't afraid of the power you yield.
You are more than just weary eyes and a strong core.
I want someone to soothe the hollow guilt in your tired mind and let you drift in and out of a peaceful idea.
You deserve to feel the overwhelming passion of life burning underneath you like the heat of a southern summer.
It is such a shame that the only life you seek is in an emptiness of a fake smile and easy eyes.
You need to find the eyes that radiate expectations we all know you can reach.
Eyes that see the love and the beautiful smile that crosses your face when genuine laughter spills from your pores.
You should be able to drown a long day in the steady arms of someone who wants to hold your lazy body.
Someone who can only dream of kissing your beer tainted lips after a night of excitement and youth.
Leave behind the past that writes a sorrow in your heart and find the place that so many of us crave.
A place I once visited in naive attempts at life.
Find consumption.

You never really know someone until you are laying in a bed with them around 2 in the morning lingering from a night of busy adventure.
Not just a regular night of adventure but one that has exhausted you and drained all of the energy you stored from the week.
A night that took you to new places in a city you thought you knew so well and forced you to revel in the beauty it holds.
A night that creates memories that stick to your soul and your skin more than anything.
As you ride home in the backseat and steal glances in the rear view you love the way the wind wraps your hair around you and the wind smells sweet.
Once you have dropped off everyone else and you move to the front seat you really start getting to know someone.
It's midnight and you are dozing off in the passengers seat hoping this person is noticing the moonlight on your skin.
You feel their presence wrap around you and all thoughts of logic are thrown out the window as you drive down the highway.
It's 1 am now and you are laying in bed wondering how you got to the point of skin wrapped around you and a scent taking over your memories.
The conversation is light because you feel the need to whisper as the moonlight pours into a room of heavy hearts.
Nothing has happened that wasn't anything more than a kiss but the idea is heavy in the air with the cool weather blowing in through an open window.
Eyes hang low and voices start to soften and hang with every sleepy word that falls from a mouth.
This is the point where you get to know someone.
The things they whisper about as their mind tries to escape to sleep but they push through.
How you have a beautiful family.
How I love living in the country.
How you enjoy math.
How I hate all numbers.
How you like to workout.
How I love cake.
How you belief in religion.
How I believe in everything.
How we would love to be part of the stars.
How we hate oxymorons.
It is the simplicity of a tired mind that brings about the most deep and beautiful ideas. They way your voice is deeper and mine is quieter.
I got to know you under the cloak of night and I got to keep you there for a while.

I am just a bruised and battered heart
with words that make lives fall apart.
No sentence structure or string of ideas
can communicate properly my ideas of us.
Spending moments of a beautiful life
wasted in decisions of strife.
To think that maybe I am not the best lover
is something that I few have had to discover.
I am not sure why these loves fail
but im sure it is not an old wives tale.
The answer to my problems is simple I know
but I am a heart that loves to never let go.
I have loved every heart that has noticed me
and they have loved me easily.
Maybe one day I will heal from my self inflicted scars
and own a love we can both call ours.

with a shaking hand and a loss of interest.
I sit in front of paper and my mind searches for inspiration only to be let down.
I am learning to ignore the world and pay attention to my mind and let it say what this mouth of mine has never found words for.