:)
1. tell all of your problems to a tree; it’s not going to answer back but it will love you

2. stuff your face in a pile of snow

3. get up and dance when there is no music playing

4. stand infront of the mirror with one hand cooly resting on your hip and the other hand pointing at yourself, and then wink at yourself like you’re the most attractive babe out there

5. stop everything you’re doing and speak in gibberish until you laugh

6. paint with your toes to Beethoven

7. roll around on the floor for a few minutes; move furniture around so that you have plenty of space to do so

8. bake someone you are fond of cupcakes and surprise them out of the blue

9. pick a ton of wonderful flowers and hand them out to strangers that pass by

10. when you’re stubborn, stuck, in pride, in pain, in mind, tell whoever your head thinks it concerns these 4 lines in a row and nothing else;
"I love you
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you”
(Hoʻoponopono)

11. buy yourself a yummy ice cream cone

12. go swimming alone and let your body flow and be one with the water

13. write a real old fashioned letter to your mother or father telling them about yourself and that you love them

14. stand outside in the pouring rain until your clothes soak; and make sure you’re barefoot so that gushy mud can get between your toes

15. go to a park with a swing-set and just swing by yourself

16. make yourself a big beautiful breakfast in the morning

17. give your friends meaningful hugs that last a very long time

18. read a passage or two in The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

19. shut off your Netflix and go on a bike ride in the middle of the night

20. hug yourself and kiss your hands and your arms and stroke your hair and tell yourself aloud “I love you; I love me” over and over again

21. breathe deep into your belly like a Buddha instead of shallow into your chest

22. go to another city/province/country/continent on your own for at least a week

23. don’t shy away from holding someone’s hand or kissing them if you think it feels right

24. hold a baby in your arms

25. drink a glass of water

is suffering
with boulders on your eyelids;
splinters in your chest
and then finding perfect sight and a calm breath

that is samsara

midnight was exhilarating
afoot, steadfast with a purpose
of leaving one place
to get to another

but it turned over to one in the morning
and that was nervousness of time,
of premonition and marvel shock;

then time was two and I lit a candle
in my bedroom for you
but you said three
so I read a book that often calms me

though three turned over to four
and you still haven’t come by my door

I cannot find sleep
I’m a sucker for closure
why didn’t you come?

every ounce, raw
legs ******* necks
authentic because this time history
didn’t exist
or the future
just timelessness, innocence and lots of kissing
unexpected like car crashes and so familiar like eggs in the morning
like the feeling of not sleeping in your own bed for a few days and then getting to again
relief, in a way
and sighs
but mostly raw
with passion that draped over us like a canopy of red roses and white silky fabrics
I think that might have been the most connected we’ve ever been
I think that’s because we aren’t attached to each other in any way, anymore
real,
raw,
exactly the same
completely new
everything is all over the place and as condensed as an aerosol can of hairspray
at the same time;
my hair grew
your face thinned
and we are in exactly the same place

tongue-tied butterflies, the tickling flutter inside
but it’s not the good kind,
it’s the sucker-punch kind that makes you nauseous and want to stay in bed
all day
looking out your window until your heavy hulk eyelids snap shut
and you dream of the fantasy
where you are not this wretched, evil or confused and
everything makes sense there

all you do is dance with one person underneath the leaf-canopy of a sycamore tree

you kiss and your bellies rumble with laughter, for each other, with each other

and when the other scurries off to do their own thing, you are alone,
but you’re alright
because you’ve seen what you look like in the mirror, and you’ve never been so pleased with yourself

the meaning of love in this faerie land forest is to simply, be, as you are
with nothing but yourself
nothing but your hands,
nothing but your eyes
nothing but your heart

it’s the sparking connection, touching someone else, and seeing their lips curl into the most vivacious grin

it makes love special but it doesn’t make love, for you already are such, regardless of another’s breath

I awaken at the sound of chirping birds, my window still glowing of
shady sunlight
tongue-tied butterflies, the tickling flutter inside
but it’s not the good kind, it’s the sucker-punch kind that makes you sick,
waking you up
to reality

I find it funny that the first time we ever kissed,
your lips only barely brushed mine
like light wind upon sand,
moving my heart just a little bit, but not quite enough for me to kiss you back,

it was an agonizing craving 

because wanting to mimic your lips
with mine as badly as I did
had been quietly, yet evidently
suppressed with my palm
pressed up against your chest 

to push you away

maybe it’s not funny after all

but at the time, I wasn’t aware of what it would feel like 

to lose you

when your arms were gently wrapped around me under white fluffy blankets

and your whisper
sent me into
a lullaby of tranquility  
I was safe there, a lucky penny
put inside your pocket

I didn’t know, one day, I would let my head go

and kiss you back
until there were no more clothes or distractions,

the piercing judgments cloaked underneath our timeless innocence 
 


I didn’t know, one day, I’d be as loved as a flower is loved by the sun
and soil
and that my heart would make itself entirely available to be nurtured



I still find it funny the night we held hands 

all the way to the bus stop 

and skipped a little like children on their way to school in the summertime

when the bus pulled up, you kissed me but I didn’t place a palm
to push you away

this time,
regardless of how many passengers
would see us

underneath the moonlight 

it just felt right



and I find it really beautiful 

when you let me cry like a small child that had just lost both of her parents
in a car accident

my snot got all over your t-shirt and all you did was rub my back
and whisper

I love you, sweetie



I didn’t know, one day, when you called
to tell me 

those exact same words,

I would hang up on you

because being that loved would become as
terrifying
as letting go of sickness

I didn’t know, one day, I would welcome you into my heart with
tantric grace,
and another day, attack you with
my own self loathing, 

creating a moat around my trueness so you could never get in again

I think I mostly find our first kiss funny

because I knew you knew
I wanted to kiss you back

the entire time

but waited months instead  

and you were okay with that

I didn’t know, one day, missing you
would make my heart ache
like one million pins were stuck in it

I didn’t know, one day, I’d be as ready
as this
but it’d be too late