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3.6k · Aug 2013
Birthday Blues
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
Each passing day brings me closer to the date,
Where we'll plaster happy smiles and pretend to celebrate.
Have I done something great? Is that why we're here?
Or are we really celebrating the passing of another year?
One year, 52 weeks or 365 days,
It's just an excuse, a corporate cliché.

But don't worry, there's no need to celebrate,
Each day brings me closer to my own ****** fate.
HEY, it's my birthday!
& when it passes, it'll just be another day...

Trailing behind are my lost teen years,
No Mama, I still haven't conquered my fears.
Don't worry, there's still some life behind these eyes,
I never did understand the celebration of the fact time flies.
With masked faces surrounding my 20 candles of lies,
It's hard to tell what goes on in this light
With the flickers of the candles, tricking my sight.
Am I blowing out the candles?
Or am I blowing out my mind?

Don't bother now, there's no time to celebrate,
Love can't save me from my own ****** fate.
HEY, it's my birthday!
& when it passes, it'll just be another wasted day...
Few weeks before my 20th birthday (2010)
(c) Samantha Vaughn
2.8k · Aug 2013
Tremors
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
Did you feel that? There was a tremor through my skin,
A tingling sensation, coming from within.
The vibration of music, rippling with the bass;
I always thought the game, was all about the chase.

But now that I’m here, I feel the music chilling down my spine;
And all that I can think of, is how to make you mine.
But my eyes just can’t seem to focus, with this eruption of feeling,
They say that music is feeling, but it’s through the magic of hearing.
They might be right, but these needs have moved to physical healing.
See I’ve suddenly got tunnel vision, and it’s toward you that I’m steering.

My hands are getting clammy, but my vision is getting clear.
All I know right now is that I need you; I need you closer than near.
Closer than close, close to touch,
I need it right now, and I need it so much.

Did you feel that? It’s a tremor through my skin,
This tingling sensation, coming from within.
The vibration of music, now tickling my bass,
Sometimes the game we’re playing, doesn’t require the chase.

Just a touch, just a kiss, just a small simple stroke,
You’ve got my body convulsing, craving to be choked.
Breath’s getting shallow & emotions dripping thick,
These pills that I’ve taken, have given quite the kick.
See my frequency is rising, and I think yours is rising too,
So I’m watching your body, and I’m waiting for your cue.

Did you feel that? There was a tremor through my skin,
A tingling sensation, coming from within.
The vibrations of music, weaving in and out of the bass,
I now see the game that we’re playing, was never about the chase.
Wrote this after meeting the love of my life.
(c) Samantha Vaughn
2.6k · Aug 2013
Hades Door
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
Let us slowly make our descent,
Through Hell's path, broken and bent.
To the depths of Hades door,
Otherwise known as Druggies Galore.
Your fix clutching frantically at your throat,
Now don't you wish you had chosen a different life boat?
(c) Samantha Vaughn
2.5k · Aug 2013
Overdose
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
The body’s shaking,
My muscles aching.
Eyes rolling,
The world’s unfolding.
Too much coke,
For my body to cope.
Burnt up bills,
With a bottle of a pills.
People screaming,
My body's heaving.
The dark is creeping,
I feel my body sinking.
One more line,
To make time fly.
Take a rip,
Because it’s our final (death) trip.
Wrote this my sophomore year at Taipei American School circa 2005.
(c) Samantha Vaughn
2.5k · Aug 2013
Samantha i-V
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
Slow sips of cyanide, to complete my sweet suicide.
Adamant about absolution,
My mind has masterminded a revolution.
Addicted to anarchy and aggression,
Nobodies kept voted for nomination.
Tasty tar-treats, flavored of TNT,
Humor my hallucinations of this God-forsaken nation.
Abandoned, alone and arrested,
I* give up on this Vindication
Wrote this during one of my 2011 lows...
(c) Samantha Vaughn
2.2k · Aug 2013
Heir of Heroin
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
She's become the Heir of ******,
One day a Pulitizer Prize heroine.
Slowly wasting away,
Her sun only sets in grey.
Oh, won't someone please ask her to stay?
(c) Samantha Vaughn
2.0k · Aug 2013
A Crumpled Piece of Paper
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
It's a crumpled piece of paper,
laid littered on the floor.
It's a crumpled piece of paper,
that people chose to ignore.

It's a crumpled piece of paper,
that showed she did once care.
It's a crumpled piece of paper,
explaining she was broken beyond repair.

It's a crumpled piece of paper,
laid littered on the floor.
It's a crumpled piece of paper,
that people chose to ignore.

And it's my crumpled piece of paper,
that was lost and never found.
This crumpled piece of paper,
that's now six feet below the ground.
Reminiscing my dad's passing and reflecting pieces of my journal.
(c) Samantha Vaughn
1.9k · Sep 2013
Choice: Misery Infective
Samantha Vaughn Sep 2013
We like to dwell in our sorrows,
thinking there will be no better tomorrows.
This late-night passive aggression,
that seems like every poet’s obsession.

Oh why can’t we choose to be happy?
When the colors are grey, to see beauty?
Why must we feed each others' depression?
That the world is ugly, full of suppression?

I now choose to look a little deeper,
seeing “pretty” does not make me weaker.
I choose to look for a different perspective;
I know it will be hard; misery is infective.

But I know that I have a choice:
To feel sorrow or to rejoice.
I’ve lost chapters to grief and sadness,
to realize and continue? Now that would be madness.
Tired of seeing the world bleak and grey. The strong lift people up, not bring them down. Trying to be more positive in my poetry.
(c) Samantha Vaughn
1.7k · Sep 2013
Sabella
Samantha Vaughn Sep 2013
Sabella, come out and play!
Sabella, where are you today?
Sabella, with her whips and toys,
Sabella, who beats all the boys.

Sabella, with her costumes and wigs,
Sabella, legs long like twigs.
Sabella, with her pretty knives and chains,
Sabella, broken beauty and brains.

Sabella, with her leather corset,
Sabella, whom you’ll never surfeit.
Sabella, with her thigh-high boots,
Sabella, who knows no roots.

Sabella, with her full-lip smile,
Sabella, won’t you stay for a while?
Sabella, with no inner inhibition,
Sabella, she’s on full exhibition.
Felt a rhythm going this morning and went for it.
(c) Samantha Vaughn
1.4k · Aug 2013
Man-Made Monsters
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
Feel a gaping hole,
Located center-fold.
Nothing seems out of place,
Except for our long-lost chaste.

Eden has come and gone,
Yet here we remain in throngs.
Confused by our own existence,
We look for God’s assistance.

Unknown emotions start stirring,
A transformation is occurring.
Metamorphosing into man-made monsters,
Dropping bombs onto unknowing youngsters.

Feel a gaping hole,
Located center-fold.
Nothing seems out of place,
Except for God’s long lost embrace.

Eden’s now a myth,
Telling of Man’s zenith.
Unsure of our own existence,
We turn to Pain’s assistance.

Catalytic events annihilate Man’s innocence,
GOD HELP US! We can’t find the cure to this pestilence.
Race against race,
Man against man,
Child against child,
The innocent cadavers are still being piled.

Feel a gaping hole,
Located center-fold.
Nothing seems out of place,
Except for our disintegrating face.
Wrote this back in 2009 when I was visiting my family in Shandong, China. Obviously depressed by the dystopia we live in... not sure if the Notes are also for tagging but I guess I'll give it a go.
#dystopia #depressed #eden #God #religion #war #wasted #youth
(c) Samantha Vaughn
1.0k · Aug 2013
Sam Unfinished
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
My name is Sam,
don't know who I am.
The world keeps spinning round&round;&round;&round; &,

People telling me what's my plan.
Their lips keep moving up&down;&up;&down; &,
I can't seem to hear a sound,
My world is spinning round&round;&up;&down; &,

Why can't I seem to find a way?
Without there being a fine price to pay &,
Why can't you just hear me out?
Without there being tears&shouts;&fears;&doubt;; &,

What's wrong with me today?
My emotions stalled, it just won't say, I cannot say &,
I can't stop these pools of tears,
falling down my face, skin's going clear &,

My world's now crashing I cannot see,
Just exactly what it is You want me to Be.
Written summer of 2009 after completing my first year at HKU. Wrote it to the beat of one of Santigold's songs... unfortunately I can't remember which.
(c) Samantha Vaughn
1.0k · Aug 2013
Summer of Eve
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
Roll me up, like a one dollar bill,
Smoke me up baby; I’ll give you the thrill.
******* lips candy, they’ll make you alive,
Just close your eyes, and turn your fall to a dive.

Take a poke love; it’ll revitalize your skin,
Don’t forget, they love the Holocaust thin.
Forget the world Eve; they’ll love you when you’re dead,
Take my word darling, and stay here instead.
2007 overdose
(c) Samantha Vaughn
784 · Aug 2013
The Dangers of Memory
Samantha Vaughn Aug 2013
A little bit lost and a little bit blue,
Oh the things memories can do to you.

A little bit torn and a little bit used,
Oh how the Present can feel like abuse.

A little bit shaken and a little bit bruised,
Oh how my Future seems constantly confused.

A little bit tired and a little more gaunt,
Oh how the Past is all I'll ever want.
(c) Samantha Vaughn

— The End —