Here to bask in the warmthless sun,
I shiver,
I look to the sky,
I think,
Only one I’ve ever truly loved.

I was used,
The more it hurt,
The more I needed,
However, you didn’t need me,
I moved on.

Now you’re back?
I thought these words would never escape,
But they are leaving my mouth,
Hopefully entering your ears,
Not as a silent scream,
But as a whisper--

A whisper can be heard.

*Leave me alone.

I love how you never cared
about me
I love how you completely moved on
without me
I love how you got my hopes up
about us
I love how you created new memories
without us

I hate how you always talked
about me
I hate how you always did things
without me
I hate how I believed in everything
about us
and how you are perfectly fine
without us.

A feather lay on the sill of an open window
A slight breeze escapes into the room
The feather sways to the rhythm of its commander
Waiting to land.

But that feather never does
And the wind continues to gush by
The feather flows in the air
Waiting to land.

So close to the ground
So close to the infinite possibilities,
But that feather is grabbed mid-air
Never getting the chance.

The ground stays empty,
The hand of the receiver stays full,
And that feather stays waiting,
Waiting for its chance on the ground.

But the ground has no promises
There will never be a complete reassurance there
So for now the feather lays safe in the hands of another
Until the feather is willing to fall
And the ground lay empty,
Waiting for that feather to land.

I’m from the seasons that never end
They repeat themselves,
Repeat their memories.

I’m from Fall,
The way the leaves crunch beneath my feet,
The brisk, cool air that brushes past my face,
The giggles of children on Halloween night,
The Jack-O-Lanterns flickering in the wind.

I’m from Winter,
The sips of hot chocolate beside the fire,
The warm, cozy socks I place on my feet,
The frost that covers the solid ground,
The snow I never stopped wishing for.

I’m from Spring,
The inevitable fear of bees I have,
The sight of blossoming flowers,
The views of life awakening once again,
The beautiful, vibrant colors.

I’m from Summer,
The freedom from all responsibility,
The warm sun against my skin,
The swinging on a swing set, embracing the heat,
The splashing of water in the refreshing pool.

I’m from the seasons
The never ending seasons,
That are still shaping my life today.

Something isn’t right.

I don’t understand.

Is this another lie you keep trying for me to believe?

No.

Not again.

I won’t let you do this to me

Ruin my heart and soul

I have nothing left to give

You have no shred of respect.

Not for me, your friends, yourself.

I’ll give you this time to think

But it’s not space you need.

You need a family, your friends, your healthy state of mind

So stop pushing us away.

You’re hurting yourself.

I don’t want to lose you.

But I will.

Enjoy,
The lies you’ve told
The people you’ve hurt
The mess you’ve made

Enjoy,
Living a lie
Mending hearts
Cleaning up after yourself

It’s all you can do now that you’re in so deep

But the good news is
I forgive you.

Whether I should or not
That’s the real question.

I may be wrong about a lot
But I’ve yet to be proven wrong
Love was never built to last
We just need to move on

Some may say that it’s not right
But you go right ahead
I will never, ever want this fight
An open book waiting to be read

But the book is a tough read
Some say hard to put down
While others tend to disagree
They threw it on the ground

I’m still waiting for that one day
When I’m knocked from my conscience mind
On this ice cold ground I lay
Waiting for things to find

Have you come along?
I hope
But I can not be sure
My guard is up
It always is
I hope you are the cure

I’m sick of this stupid lie
I keep trying to live
Why can’t this fantasy be real
Myself to you I give.

I’ve been ruined, by the ones who tell me everyday not to be ruined
How do they expect me to cope?
They ruin themselves, ruin each other.

They tell me that it’s not always that way,
Okay, then what is it?
It wouldn’t have turned out this way if it wasn’t.

I tell myself, maybe there is hope
But no
How can there be?
Love isn’t real
Fairytales aren’t real
And that’s what love is
Just a fairytale

One day I’ll live the dream
But as soon as I wake up it’ll be the same
Just an ordinary day

Nothing spectacular
Nothing new
Just my life the way it always is

Nothing changes, but if it does
It’s not going to last
Watch that fairytale go.