Samantha Page

Samantha Page Jun 2013

Untitled

Sometimes when my heart breaks you don't even care....
Just try to play it off and act like the victim..
I have no patience for this anymore.
If i was your priority i think i would know by now.....
But i am not.
There is so much more that i deserve.
I ******* hate you.

Samantha Page Jun 2013

Evil Beauty

The pounding in my chest-
The racing in my head...
The voice inside begging for release,
and tears burning behind my eyes.

Hands clenched-
Fingernails digging into these sweaty palms.
I want to hit my knees...
I want to scream...
I want to *****...
I don't-

The stream of salt water runs down
Bloodshot eyes-
As sleep does not come easily..
I am walking in a dream anyway.
I have tried pinching myself to wake up!
But the pain just got me high-
And off I went again

This woman appears in the distance...
The smoke escapes from between her pursed lips
Inside me is a longing to ask
Why she indulges in such subtle suicide..
I suppress the desire.
For I realize
I am doing the same by loving you.

Samantha Page Jun 2013

Desire

............................................
"Why are you biting your fingers?", she asks and the question grabs me with surprise.
.......................................................
As I flash my dark eyes in her direction I decide to admit "To keep from biting my lips..."
.............................................
Her shy half-smile and returned glaring eye contact tells me that the reason for the turning gears in my head are understood....

Samantha Page Jun 2013

the "gift"

the pen seems to crash onto the table.
her tired hand shaking finds it way under the pillow....
no sleep for days as she has been putting it all down.
as if not to be able to stop.
everything she sees, everything she hears, and everything she does,
inspires riddles and rhymes to flow from inside.
its a gift...

some people say she has talent.
some people say she is good...
but they don't understand the insanity of an unstoppable mind.
inspiration they call it...
she laughs and it is unnerving...
inspiration...no...

she explains that someone has turned the volume to full blast
on every single one of her senses.
beauty is more beautiful and smells are much sweeter
and sadness cuts deeper and pain is.....
unbearable.

a line or two in her head
repeats over and on until she puts it down.

but she cannot stop at just one line or two,
no the words keep coming and before long she has filled a page.
the mistake she makes is rereading
for one line she wrote in her comatic fury
will start the dance all over again.
and she writes....and she hopes....
she can sleep a bit before she is again
plagued by a drive, a desire, a need
to write.....

Samantha Page Jun 2013

Thunderlust

GOD* drops the bass
Rolling thunder-

The vibrations reach deep into my core
Grasps me with no intention of release.
Causes my chest to rise and fall.
Clenching my teeth around my tongue
My blood pumps-

The flash of *electrifying light makes my hair stand on end.
I bite down harder.
My skin itching for you...
Another streak falls from the sky.
The ground shakes under my feet,
as the clap rings inside my head.

My hands are ready to trace over you-
To lie in this storm with no fear, only passion.
To get lost in the mess of your wet mane....
To feel the sky open and fall over us
Drowning in lust

The marvel of lightning crashing down around us.
Illuminating every inch of your beauty-
As your rising to meet the tide...
I am waiting there and ready
To fall into your perfect rain

Samantha Page Jun 2013

Night on the water

Burning ***** of fire and gas...
from down here are so beautiful.
I sit within my vessel...
float with the current.

Rocking steadily...
and my mind, being in complete meditation,
cannot absorb the beauty hanging above my head.

I am high off of the serenity,
and romance fills my lungs....
as the gentle breeze dances in my hair and caresses my face.

I disappear into the peace of this moment.
My soul merges with the world around...
The water appears as glass,
reflecting the stars.

The insects of the night serenade with a song...
ringing of summer freedom.
I close my eyes and listen....

My fingers dance above the water.
There, the refreshing coolness reawakens me.
Conscience now....

No longer lost in hypnosis,
I can see that this is just as beautiful as before.

Eyes open or closed has no meaning.
The immaculate intensity around,
lies in our minds...in our interpretation.

Samantha Page Jun 2013

life......hurt

you just run away and hide in sleep

in the unconscious world where nothing is wrong

you wont fight with me...

i don't know if its because you no longer think anything is worth fighting for..

or if your scared that i will show you the ways that i am right!

i know that what you said.....is not okay.

if leaving would be what it took to make you want to look a little deeper into this mirror...

i knew you, and you were beautiful

and you are still......mostly

i just don't want this to get out of hand.

anger and hate do no woman or man any good!!

it tears apart families and love and people....

it is what makes people hate themselves and everyone around.

it will eat you apart slow like a cancer.

you will lose everything, if you let it.

i don't want to say anything to make it worse,

but i know that i cannot make it better

and i hope you understand that you are not broken...not to me

you just need....we will call it reprogramming.

i know who you are!

this is not you!

i don't know how to fix this...

i will be gentle and i will be calm...

but, i need you to listen

i need you to hear me....

i need you to want!

to want to be better...

for me, for you, for us, for them, for life!

i was this way before...

angry and hateful and uncontrollable

please don't misunderstand me...

i don't want to control you,

but i want you to have control

i need you to have control!

please tell me you will not let this consume you

please tell me you will try something, anything!

please tell me you will...

just please tell me you will....