I stopped writing for awhile
For I had started to forget
Forget what it was like to
Be left alone again.

After you had left I was abandoned
With my own thoughts I had to write
A love as pure as you is something I cannot find over night.

And for some time I was there
Stuck in desperation for a little more
Left to try and repair my body
My life stuck in a repetitious bore.

But slowly I pulled myself out
Finding serenity through friends
Peace of mind came quickly, easier
I found that my thoughts of you came to an end.

I participated, I went out
I let others hold me as you once did
And slowly I found life less lonesome
To open up and be happy again.

But once more you came back knocking
With hopes to drag me in
And in my foolish glee, I accepted
And I went spiraling down again.

I got caught up in speaking with you
Then forgot that it would soon end
For when you got what you had wanted
I was left alone to fend.

I'm quick to jump to conclusions:
Maybe I could get you back again
Or I could always turn and find it easiest
To stay laughing with my friends.

But we both know that I won't choose the latter
I'm weak and foolish to try to crawl back
But that never matters
*For I'm addicted to your attention
And I slip down at your suspension.

stop
Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe
go
Repeat, repeat. walk a straight line
pause
Stay now, breathe again
go
Remember. scream
stop
Forget, live without fear
pause*
it's all okay now

A gentle caress of the cheek
A shaky fingertip on the chin
The memories come and go in waves,
but hit with the force of a tsunami flood,
crashing down the barriers I so carelessly built up after you left.

A touch of my neck
sends shivers down my spine,
as I remember your lips brushing gentle skin
exhaling my name into the dark.

Twisted in sheets, tangled in blankets
Racing hands and quick breath
those nights come to me quick,
flashing images through my mind.

Glow of your eyes - you loved me.
Smiles on your face - you meant it.
Pleasure in your body - you showed me.
Grasp of your hand - you watched me laugh.*

I would say I want this nostalgia to stop,
but to be quite honest-
I'm addicted to reminiscing on these thoughts.

The fear of forgetting you
presses ******* all sides
suffocating my mind with images of us.

A longing for you
when I turn out my lights
and fall back into ny bed.

A longing for you
as I pull the covers up to my chin
and curl up towards the wall.

A longing for you
as I drift in and out of sleep
memories of you tangled up in my dreams.

A longing for you
as I wake the next day
once again without you by my side.

A longing for you
as I slip out of bed
and repeat the daily routine.

there are some days i think
"wow, i'm finally over you"
and then there are nights where i lay in bed alone
at 2 am
and i'm staring at the blank ceiling
and something will stir in my memory
and i realize i'll never get past you
and it's those thoughts that hurt the most.

Tell me how you miss me
Show me your sweet agony
Express your love once more to set me free

Read me your lies
Try your hardest to make me fine
Murmur your final sweet goodbyes

Was i way your hands slipped around my waist,
Or the protective grasp in your embrace?

The feelings you gave to me, I cannot deny
And yet I sit here still, asking myself why.


What made you fall silent and turn away from me?
There were some things that you saw, but you didn't truly see.

Accusing and betrayed, there was a pain in your voice
I knew you had settled, you had made your choice.


I'm not sure if it was the pain in your eyes or maybe it was  the sorrow in your words,
But I decided to leave you at that, my mind in a blur.


And I guess that was my mistake; not fighting more for you.
So I've thought about it for some time and realized sadly it's still something I'd never do.

Even though you now tell me you're sorry, and you believe what I have said,
I still can't stop these thoughts from running through my head.

You'll still be leaving in less than a year,
And I'll be sitting with all our memories here.