How do you put this ache into words?
Being stuck in different worlds,
I wish I could fly to you like the birds.
Each day my ache grows, my lament like the little black crows.

Little black crow with the migration.
I will come to you by plane, bus, or train station.
And I'll fly like you little bird.
Just like I said I would, gave you my word.

And I missed everything about you,
But I can see that you love this place.
It's evident to me in your little crow face.
So ruffle your feathers and continue to fly.
I bid my favourite little crow goodbye.

She was so pretty,
My little Rose.
She had pink cheeks.
And on stage her eyes shone.

Oh. But my little Rose needed more,
More than the sun.
For little Rose wasn't just anyone.

Rose belonged on the stage.
Where she became the characters she played.
My pretty little Rose.
On stage, her eyes shone.

Rose belonged in those lights.
She would be the sight of all sights.
Little Rose who would not ever wilt.
She was a star with voice like silk.

Other girls wanted to be her.
But it was Rose who "dreamed harder."
Pretty little Rose,
on stage her eyes shone.

How strange my young life, its proclivities.
How quick and profound are its extremities.
How cruel the loss and joyous the gains.
And yet surrounded and ever by change.
As I reflect on my last year,
I reflect on my life now. Like watching waves from a pier.
Or should I be filled with fear?
Who I was, when I was then. ­­­­­­
And then that I became back and forth again.
What my chances are for times to be like they were are very dim.
But how can one wish to return?
Because if that were the case,
Then I’d never learn.
And then the rewards I would never earn.
But is that what life is about?
At such a young age,
My mind is filled with doubt.
And these new ideas flourish and sprout.
And I start to pride in my growing.
Because I have spent all these years knowing,
At least my first name.
But as I grow older my name changes meanings.
But not based upon me,
Based on what people are seeing.
What does it mean when they say seeing is believing?
So what does my name mean this year?
I slowly become someone else’s image I must adhere.
But the days of ending time are coming near.
And I feel like I have nothing to fear.
I have seen many versions of myself.
And the mirror screams, “Look at yourself!”
And as I reflect on my last year,
And the girl looking back at me in the mirror,
The changes have never been so clear.

Pale
people shudder without a fail
Since when did tan
become wanted by every man?
when everyone is knowing
the risks, girls keep going
the risks, aren’t risky
because it’ll never be me
until I get melanoma at 40
I have been shamed all my life
because my skin is too “white”
pasty ain’t tasty
they all keep telling me
making me insecure every summer
I should be ashamed of my legs
since they aren’t the right shade
always being told I’m not as pretty
because I’m not as tan or skinny
girls always telling me
they don’t know how they could be me
fueling hundreds of dollars in this sick industry
I should sit under a bed of bulbs
take pictures, post it online so everyone knows
that I’m going to be tan as sand
no longer pale
because to be pale is to fail.

love and insecurity
tend to evolve into the same thing
you must trust that the other will stay
and you must trust yourself that the feeling won’t go away
because when you’re in love
you’re sitting on cloud nine
you can leave all your troubles behind
with one look from them
and it doesn’t matter if it’s a her or him
or anything inbetween
because love is a feeling
that everyone is permitted
there are no such things are love and mitigated circumstance
because love is feeling you get
from an interpretation that can arise
from the first time your eyes met
that lock of your eyes and the feeling of intimacy
love at first sight, immediacy
you have the yearning of learning everything about them
because you can’t deny the chemistry
your brain telling you that there is someone to yearn
because the greatest thing to learn is to love and be loved in return
I love you, I love you, I love you.