every day i wake up
and walk outside in the early morning
smelling the roses and the scent of oncoming rain
my heart often feels as though it simply cannot go on
as though you somehow were the one to make it beat
and now that your absence has fully registered to me
nothing is the same
it is hard to eat breakfast on Saturday mornings
without you sitting beside me
and it is difficult to read beautiful books on Wednesday afternoons
without you bringing me tea
and it is simply unbearable to go to sleep on Sunday nights
with thoughts of you with someone else
creeping into my foggy brain
i feel lost without you
but somehow i keep on living
because i know it's what you would want

at least, i hope

s.s.

Stubbornly holding the glass fragments of what once was
Refusing to lose hope completely
But the fragments slowly dwindle
With each bump in the road
Until I have only one left
With the rest surrounding my cold, blue toes
Which have become numb with the coldness I feel
With this last piece of us, what could I do?
I want to desperately to hold on until forever
But I can't
Because you won't
And you didn't
So with much concentration I let the last piece fall down
Wincing as it cuts through my heart

I stumble into the hall of doors
And I hear the door behind me close harshly
Where am I supposed to go now?
I feel like wallowing in my tears
But I hear a voice say, "Get up, and follow me."
So I follow the voice down the hall
Looking at each door, recognizing some, others brand new to me
Till I come to a pearly white door opened all the way
And the voice says "Go on. I'll see you when you return once more."

One
     New Moon
          A heart that knows no love

Two
     Waning Crescent
          A new friendship

Three
     Third Quarter
          A best friend

Four
     Waning Gibbous
          A blossoming relationship

Five
     Full Moon
          A true love

Six
     Waxing Gibbous
          A few arguments here and there

Seven
     First Quarter
          A break

Eight
     Waxing Crescent
          A relationship no more

Repeat

As liquid sunlight
Slowly coarses through my veins
I am enlightened

Dewdrops on petals
Hard to differentiate
From my own teardrops

Looking out at sea
Remembering my old life
Watch it wash away

A new beginning
Starting from the crystal sea
I become anew

Now no more hurting
Forever now who I am
Started with my choice

Looking out at sea
Look at how it has changed me
An eternal friend