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10.5k · Oct 2012
Depression.
Sam Oct 2012
Depression.
One word.
Pretty easy to say.
But what you don’t know
Is that it controls my day.
The sun rises as I go to get out of bed
yet depression whispers “You’d be better off dead.”
But I push through those words and I make it to class
when it comes to concentration, depression kicks me in the ***.
So I go to eat lunch, but nothing looks appetizing
depression smiles at me and asks if that’s surprising
Another class, let’s see how this one goes
Will I pass this test? Only depression really knows
Cause last night when I went home and tried to study
depression was surely there, my only buddy
And although I tried to do my absolute best
depression said, “I think we’ll fail this test.”
My teachers look at me in absolute disgust
I try to tell the truth, but depression doesn’t let me trust
So instead I say I’m sick, a cold or maybe the flu
But I’m sick inside my head, and depression proves that true
You can’t expect them to understand the pain and the sorrow
This depression is unique to me, you’d only know if my mind you could borrow
But back to my daily routine, I didn’t mean to digress
sometimes my thoughts start racing, depression never lets me rest
Which leads me to sleep, for some the best part of the night
Dear depression, will you let me sleep? Maybe, I just might
Then I look at the clock and it’s almost four in the morning
Depression, why are you doing this? In my mind it’s nearly storming
For most are in their beds, cuddled up all snug and tight
But depression sowed up early this morning, so I have to be ready to fight
Some have called me strong, but that is not how I feel
for depression clouds my head, and I’m not sure what’s real
And there it is again, the sun has stared to rise
I’ve made it through another day, to depression, that’s a surprise.
1.3k · Feb 2010
Dear Daddy.
Sam Feb 2010
Dear daddy,
Where have you been?
You've left a hole in my heart
that will never mend.
Dear daddy,
Where did you go?
I haven't seen you in so long,
and oh, I miss you so.
Dear daddy,
When will you return?
All this time you've been gone,
it makes my heart burn.
Dear daddy,
Take me away from here.
Out of all I'm scared of,
never leaving is my biggest fear.
Dear daddy,
I can forget the past.
But now I'm warning you,
you better come get me fast.
Dear daddy,
I don't know where you are.
But my heart is telling me
that you aren't very far.
Dear daddy,
It's been over five years.
And even though you haven't come,
I'm still waiting here...
693 · May 2010
Music
Sam May 2010
And I don't know why it helps,
somehow it makes me whole.
The music surrounds my heart,
and fills my inner soul.

Each day I'm without it,
my blue skies turn gray.
But each time I'm with it
reminds me of brighter days.

Days that are no longer before me.
Days that are at their end.
Music was my escape from everything.
It was even my best friend.

The only thing I could count on
to put a smile on my face.
The one thing on this Earth
that no one could replace.
684 · Jul 2010
My Last Night
Sam Jul 2010
Last night I threw away two razors
This morning I bought ten more
For every step I take forward
I move backwards at least one more.

Last night I only counted six cuts
This morning I counted sixteen
My friend thought I tried to **** myself
But I told her that’s not what this means

Last night I felt like I had no one
This morning you came to my door
But for every step I take forward
I move backwards at least one more.

So last night when you ignored my phone calls
This morning you tried to explain why
You told me you needed a break from me
Of course all I could do was cry

Last night I wasn’t going to do it
This morning you left through my door
For every one step I take forward
I move backwards at least one more.

Last night I was gaining some hope back
This morning you came to say bye
You couldn’t give me a reason
You couldn’t even explain why

Last night I was going to **** myself
This morning you gave me a reason why
So when you left me this morning
You didn’t realize I said my last goodbye.
614 · Dec 2011
scars
Sam Dec 2011
her scars are a reminder of where she’s been
of a place she never wants to go
a story in itself of pain
a secret she never wants to show

cause if you see them you’ll recoil in fear
for they cover all her legs and arms
a place where she is safe from all
a spot that only she harms

and if you ask her, that’s another story
one that no one dares to see
a story of loss, hurt, and pain
it’s the story of my life…just me
486 · Jan 2015
Dear Daddy. Part II.
Sam Jan 2015
Dear Daddy,
What wrong did I do?
Why is it that
you only think of you?
Dear Daddy,
I wanted to be freed.
I asked it very nicely,
why didn't you come get me?
Dear Daddy,
I hate it here even more.
All of this yelling
is making my throat sore.
Dear Daddy,
My sisters gave up faith.
But I'll give you another chance,
at least a few more days.
Dear Daddy,
You never said goodbye.
But I promised to give you
one more last try.
Dear Daddy,
It's been over 10 years.
Yet for some reason,
I'm still waiting here.
Dear Daddy,
Don't even bother.
After all this time,
you're no longer my father.

— The End —