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May 2010 · 423
Love
Sam Oliver May 2010
Take your heart,
Let it show.
It just gets
Ripped apart
But you can
Not let go

As the parts
Of your core
Fall fast to
The floor and
You find that
Even shattered
To pieces,
Its the same as
Before!

Everyone
Else is looking
For something
Different
And passing
It off as-

Love,
Does it even exist anymore?

Take your soul,
And let it
Shine
For all to
See
That you want-

Love,
As it was meant to be.

Just
Take your heart!
Piece it back
Together
And hide it
Away from
The World
Until they find-

Love,
Just the way it started.
May 2010 · 1.6k
Drowning Sorrow
Sam Oliver May 2010
He is I
I am me.

Time
And Time
And Time
And Time Again.

Time, it was my friend.
Time and time again.

Writings all over the walls come down.
Movies playing in my mind all drown.
Showing me that all it takes is time
To mend,
All it takes is time to rend-

-er my mind,
Breaking time,
Drowning sorrow so
It falls, it falls, it falls, it falls
Into nonexistence, and I

Can't take this life,
So he will die...

But so can I.

-Not today, but long after tomorrow,
Unless God wills, I'll drown my sorrow.
Drowning sorrow so it can never
Walk across my mind again.


Hating hate so I can find an end
To the violence of my heart,
And I can find a friend
That will never let me down
If I just let my sorrow drown.
May 2010 · 550
Message in a Bottle
Sam Oliver May 2010
For all the broken-hearted
I have a message in a bottle.
No words can express heartbreak
A symbol says it best.

No word of comfort
Have I to bring.
No songs of assurance
Have I to sing.

For all the broken-hearted,
I have a message in a bottle.
A rose can help the heartache,
It can put your mind at rest.

Blooms of red
Have I to bring,
And the gift of myself
For you to cling.

For all the broken-hearted,
I have a message in a bottle.
I, too, know of such heartbreak,
Of that which beats inside my chest.
May 2010 · 522
steel walls
Sam Oliver May 2010
October before last.
A foggy, foggy morning,
Traveling fast
Beneath the shelter of
Four steel walls.

Three behemoths clashed,
The vehicles crashed.
And I prayed,
Such a fool…
I prayed to be spared,
That my life
Would repair
Before it was ever even broken.

What a fool.
Feelin' cool
To have escaped
Without a scratch.
Don't count 'em too early, boy,
The scars have yet to come.
Well, the voice then
Was little more than a hum
Trapped in the back of my head.

Since then
I've been older
But none the more wiser.
My life just grows colder,
And I feel like a miser.

None of my dreams
Last very long.
They always seem
To be only days strong
Before they get slashed.
My heart, it just feels
As though it is crashed
To pieces, and it will never,
It will never heal…

God,
I am sorry for my selfishness,
I now know why
I was to die.
My life has turned to Hell
And I would not have to bear it
If I wasn't still alive.

I should have
Let the steel walls take me.
May 2010 · 5.0k
Loyalty
Sam Oliver May 2010
Will you be there
with me
when nobody else will?
Will you be there
to keep me in check?
I think someone has to.

Will you be there
to keep
me safe from myself?
Will you be there
to give me
the courage I don't have?
I think someone has to.

Because I can't do this
All alone.

Will you be there
to assist
when I have no strength left
to keep fighting
for what we both believe in?
I think someone has to.

Will you be there
to help
us hold onto
our ground
when the whole world has tanks
and all we have is eachother?
I think someone has to.

Because,
otherwise,
we're all fighting for nothing.
May 2010 · 1.9k
Wasted
Sam Oliver May 2010
Wasted words I should have thought instead of said
Wasted dreams of who knows what stuck in my head
Wasted thoughts and wasted time,
Wasted explosive dramamine
With about fifty billion fuses.

Wasted money
Wasted laughs
On wasted verbal acrobat
-ics that used to summon smiles,
T'would only last but for awhile
Before they'd disappear again
Though I may not see you,
You're still my friend.

Wasted smiles on
Wasted jokes
Wasted guys in overcoats
Written on pages
Never finished
Endless stages.

Wasted sorrow
Wasted pain
We may ne'er connect again
But I still love to make you laugh
Though you may think I'm such an ***.

I am wasted.
Wasted for the better ends
Wasted for family and friends
But I still see where hope begins...

I am wasted.
May 2010 · 1.7k
damaged?
Sam Oliver May 2010
Take everything you knew.
Imagine it all as a lie.
What would you do?

Would you shout in anger?
Would you cry in sadness?
Would you delude yourself
to continue believing?

Take everything I am.
Rebuild me as you want.
Am I any better?

Am I whole?
Am I sane?
Am I any more worthy
of love?

Take all your misconceptions.
Tell yourself there are always exceptions.
Do you hold exceptions to your misconceptions of me,
or am I still damaged?
May 2010 · 496
Extra Conditions
Sam Oliver May 2010
If a woman says
'All I want is a good man',
She's a liar
Or she'd have found me.

I'm not the fool I once was.

'I'll love you if you let me love someone else.'
'I'll love you if you ***** me.'
'I'll love you if we can have a baby first.'
'I'll love you if you have no life outside of mine.'
'I'll love you if you do me a favor...
Or two...
Or twelve...'
'I'll love you if you were more feminine.'
'I'll love you if you can be fine with me sleeping with her.'

No woman simply loves.
There are always extra conditions
Hidden in the fine print of their contracts.
Something to hurt you.
Something to poison.
Something to test you when you don't deserve to be tested.
I feel like a lab rat,
Poked and prodded for far too long,
And no-one on my side without their own agendas.
May 2010 · 1.3k
Wasting Away
Sam Oliver May 2010
There goes my mind, snapping like an elastic lifeline
over a sea of daggers.

Waiting on words like waiting on fuses
to be no more, in hopes the explosion won't **** my so-called pride.

...Whatever is left of it.

This isn't the first time.
Knowing my luck, it won't be the last time my hope relied on the sympathies of a bomb.

And wouldn't you know that bombs are unsympathetic?

I'm wasting away here, as I have been for years.
Enduring bombardments with every day, more and more of myself blown away.

I just hope when my day comes, I'm not too damaged.

...If my day comes.

...Will it come?

My heart: already nearly gone.
My face: atrophied to deaden all emotion.

Am I worth anything anymore?

So much blasted away,
day after day,
I only recognize myself
by my scars,
the craters,
like torn earth.
May 2010 · 795
Haunted
Sam Oliver May 2010
You're everywhere I look now.
Stalking with your eyes,
Your face,
Your voice.

I know she's not you.
But it's so eerie
To meet the same person twice.

In different minds.
In different bodies.

You're just like when we first met.
Now like all those years ago.
Whoever said there's no such thing
As one collective soul?
May 2010 · 717
Kiss
Sam Oliver May 2010
You hold me in contempt.
Contempt of all the thoughts I've aired
Contempt of all the dreams I've shared
With others.

Not that they shared it in turn with me.
They just took it with a smile and acted as they would
As long as I was of use.

From then on
It was trash to them.
Discarded
Disregarded
Open-hearted wound
Again and again
Torn open
Never hoping it could ever be healed.

No matter how I word it
It seems to make no appeal.
They don't remember a kiss,
They don't remember a word of promise.

Women do what women will.
It makes no sense to me.
They use you for a cheap thrill,
They toss you in the sea.

****'d if you rely or them
****'d if you don't.
If they wish to strangle me,
I guess I'll just nake my throat...
May 2010 · 615
Spare Me, Bare Me.
Sam Oliver May 2010
I hold no contempt of you
As you seem to have of me.
I stand firm, like a rock
In spite of your mighty sea.

It's not so much that
I see you raging,
You just strike me as disengaging,
Disillusioned,
Disarranging the concept of friends.
Keeping your distance,
Even if they, too
Only seek your ends.
Spare me of your drama,
But bare me in your pain.

I hold no fault in you,
But I'd hold you in the rain.
May 2010 · 523
And I call her Angel.
Sam Oliver May 2010
What holds you together?
What holds anyone together?
I tell you mine,
You tell me yours.

She fills my ear with sweet nectar
When all I hear is hell.
She holds my hand in brightest light
When darkness takes its spell.

When all the world's against me,
I feel kisses along my neck.
She holds me tight,
Together,
When I'm not more than a wreck.

I feel her lips,
She has no face.
She sets my heart
Right into place.

When all around me give me hell,
I feel her there.

And I call her Angel.
May 2010 · 915
A Perfect World
Sam Oliver May 2010
In a perfect world
There would be no poetry.

No need to pine for love.
That would be a God-given right.
No need to protest.
There would be no need to fight.
No need to despair.
There would be no desperation.
No need to shout in rapture.
That would known throughout the nations.

But the world is not perfect.

I need not say it.

I suffer,
You suffer,
There's no real need to play it.
That record will skip and repeat,
skip and repeat,
skip and repeat,
and death may only delay it.

But the world will never change.

Why should I even say it?
May 2010 · 2.0k
fountain of youth
Sam Oliver May 2010
A poem
is like a fountain of youth.

Makes it's writer immortal
whether he or she
wants it or not.

I'd rather not
be immortal.

But this fountain of youth
is a fountain of words
from a mountain of thoughts

That if said
could make a fountain of tears

I'd rather not put people through it.

If I wrote for death
I am cursed to live.

All my thoughts
written down
have made me immortal.

And unfortunately,
they can't be
erased from
the minds of those
who took time from their lives
to read my words
and add to mine.

I'm sorry for making a fountain of youth.
May 2010 · 696
Trust
Sam Oliver May 2010
What's wrong?
You can tell me anything.
I will never repeat it.
You are my friend,
Whom I love,
and whom I trust.

Why do you not trust me?
Listen,
I'll hold your heart,
If you'll hold mine.
Be careful,
It's just as fragile as yours,
A glass swan, out of reach.

Holding hearts like delicate birds,
who fell from the nest and broke their wings.
In sharing our hearts,
their wings will mend,
and they can learn to fly again.

All it takes is trust.
May 2010 · 689
Will You Ever Realize?
Sam Oliver May 2010
Will you ever realize
That I never stop thinking of you?
Will you ever see
What I've been meaning to tell you?
Will you ever realize
That all this drives me insane,
But I keep on going,
Keep on living,
Just for you?

I know you've been hurt
Though you won't admit it.
We think,
'If I can ignore the pain,
It is no longer there.'
When all it is
Is a ruse.
Ignoring your pain,
And doing nothing about it,
Hurts others.

It goes on in a neverending cycle.
Words echo across the world...
'Why does nobody care?'
The value of life and feelings have plummetted,
Because no-one feels the pain.
Holding your pain and inflicting it on another
Rather than dealing with it.
That's the way the world spins.
That's the way hearts break.
That's the way the world will end.

The Holocaust of Life and Feelings.
And, one by one, we're the Nazis and the victims...
Who's the ******...?
May 2010 · 560
Big Blue
Sam Oliver May 2010
I am made of nothing
Finer than grains of sand
Which ebb and flow
With the pushings,
The pullings
Of the tides.

These tides we live in
Reflect within us
In unpredictable waves.
We've made large dunes
In hopes to never yield to the mighty wind,

Only to realize
That the grains gradually blow away.
May 2010 · 581
I Am.
Sam Oliver May 2010
I am
The heart that flows
No matter how many times
It's been pierced.

I am
The guy who hides his scars
In fear that someone
Misinterprets their meaning.

I am
The boy who tries
To desperately act like a man
No matter how impossible it seems.

I am
The one everyone picks on
For crying when there is
Nothing to cry for.

I am
The one who cries for mankind
As it clings onto
The instruments of its own destruction.

I am
The one who keeps
Old traditions
Old wounds.

I am
Proud to say that
I'm persistent as hell
Despite the opposition.

I am
The soul that burns on
At a time where
Souls have no meaning.

I am
Strong
In the fact that
I am
Weak.

I am
Myself
No matter what
Anyone tries to make me.
May 2010 · 502
My Heart
Sam Oliver May 2010
Here is my heart.
Take it,
You wanted it so much.
I hope I never see it again,
Because all it ever causes me
Is grief.

It's not like I deserved any of it.
All I do is hope,
All I do is dream.
I'd be better off without any of it.

It's all because of that beating mass.
Take it.
Do with it as you will.
I'll get used to being a tin man.
May 2010 · 633
All Good Things
Sam Oliver May 2010
All good things
Come to an end.
All good mornings
Turn to noon,
All good suns
Make room for their moons.
All good things
Others can rend.

All bad things
Come to an end.
All bad nights
Change to the morn,
All bad fights
Hear their finishing horn.
All bad things
A heart can mend.
May 2010 · 867
Demolition
Sam Oliver May 2010
Death?
Hah.
You know nothing of it.
It's your only destination,
So why do you fear it?

Life?
What is the meaning of life?
It's a train that can seem to go on forever,
Or seem to be the shortest ride ever.

The Reaper?
He sells you the tickets.
He draws you in.
But it's your choice which ticket to take.

Your Destination?
Look at your ticket.
What does it say,
my friend?

If it's the Wasteland,
I feel sorry for you.
It burns like Hell
And goes on for an eternity.

But, hey, it was your choice.
Your choice to steal the money,
Your choice to lie.
Your choice to make
Someone else's life
The Misery you'll experience
Forevermore.

You ride first-class,
Among many others
Who did things
Possibly worse than your own sins,
But ended up a success in the eyes of man.
Someone can change your ticket for free if you want,
But you have to give up your ways.

You find a sort of Primal lust of pleasure there,
and you most likely won't want to change your ticket until it's too late.

If your destination is The Manor,
Keep it up!
You are luckier than the others...
You ride coach,
True,
But make sure your eyes don't stray towards those
Who seem more fortunate.
They won't show you their tickets,
Because they're ashamed a bit that they chose it,
And the fact they're headed elsewhere from you.

But,
They treat you with disrespect,
With hatred.
This is because they envy you.
They envy your striving to be as pure,
As innocent as a person can be.

Do not read their actions as you being filth.
Nor treat them as they treat you,
Or you may become one of them yourself.
Your destination is peaceful,
Despite your mistreatment on the ride there.
Treat them as good as you would your friends,
Because although their ride may be pleasant,
Their destination is lacking.

As I stare into coach,
It looks so empty.
There are few people there on this train.
I hope to get my ticket changed.

-How about you?
May 2010 · 682
A Love Poem
Sam Oliver May 2010
A Love Poem.
Purposeless,
yet made for a purpose.
The product of an obsessive mindset.
I hate them.
They are not straightforward.
Desperate
Are they who write them in
Metaphors,
Which at some point have
An ending.
'My Love is deeper than the sea'.
That may be...
But there are things
Deeper than the sea
Which we may never know.
What if it doesn't work, my friend?
You just sing the same verse,
Different tune,
To another.
A Love Poem.
Sam Oliver May 2010
Dear feminism,
You're doing it wrong.
Showcasing your gender
in physical form
does not open awareness
of a woman's
mental
and
emotional
wealth.
It merely confirms
misogynist thoughts.
If you want
to make a point,
don't generalize your targets
as pigs.
Rather,
express what makes women valuable.
Men can be deeper
than your delusions
let you know.

----------

Dear homosexual male community,
I am repulsed
that people can
associate me
with you.
Emotion
or thought
or open-mindedness
or expressiveness
should not denote
****** orientation.
I love women to the point
that I am overly chivalrous;
why should me
being in touch
with my emotions
or being different
than the
'male status quo'
change my sexuality?

P.S. - Homophobia is fear of homosexuals,
not,
as you'd havepeople believe,
the dislike or refusal
to treat the act as natural.

P.P.S. - The way
you portray yourselves,
you are still straight,
you only prefer your
women
to have a ***** attached.

----------

Dear fellow men,
A lot of you are
perverted.
You focus on
superficial things;
the *****,
the rear,
the hair color,
the eyes,
the shape...
For what purpose?
It is the mind
and the personality
that matter most.
It is because of you
that women have
painted our gender
as monsters,
pigs,
rapists.
And many of you are,
because,
in your minds,
can the women give any consent?
May 2010 · 798
Something More
Sam Oliver May 2010
I know I'm not the best.
Not the best at
Loving, fighting, living, giving.
Living a life hidden in shyness
And a lack of courage.

And I know I don't deserve you.
You are perfect,
Like an Angel
Untouched
Uneffected.

And I know you don't deserve me.
No.
You deserve something more.
One who'd die for you,
Like myself,
But exists on your higher plane.

And I know I am stuck
here, down on Earth,
Getting what I do deserve,
Harsh, threatening words from those I pass.
I walk on
As if I don't hear them,
But I take all their slings and arrows
Unarmored and exposed.
If I truly deserve anything
I deserve something less.
It is only by God's grace I am
Human.

I have undoubtable proof
There is a God;
Without him,
I'd be an ant
Trampled upon by all above me.

You are so far above me
I can't see you clearly,
Which just shows
You deserve something more.

Something more than shy
Something more than a coward
And something more
Than a human
Exposed to the slings and arrows of bitter fortune.
May 2010 · 496
For You
Sam Oliver May 2010
This is for you,
The one who has yet
To hurt me;
The one who honestly
Seems to care.

This is for you,
The sole hope I hold.
This is for you,
The heart made of gold,
Who has yet to abandon.

I'm sure you will
In the future,
But for now,
This is for you.

While I loathe
Your indecisiveness to love,
I love
Your drive to stay beside me,
Assuming it's not from pity,
But from genuine caring.

This is for you,
A poem of appreciation.
Thank you for casting
Light on my darkness
When no-one else's
Was to be found.

Here's hoping
The dark won't take me
After you're gone.

This is for you.
I love your soul.
I love your mind.
Too bad minds
Always change
Like the old cogs
Of a clock.

This is for you.
Time is not on my side,
But I'm glad you are,
This time.
May 2010 · 4.1k
Karma
Sam Oliver May 2010
To pardon my French,
Karma is a *****.
A ***** that
Does not exist.

People are never
Rewarded
For good deeds;
Good intentions.
They only suffer
More for them.

Not that
Anything I've done
Was for personal gain.

No.
I am poor.
I am content
To be poor.

My only longing
For monetary gain
Would be to
Support
The ones I love.

My goal in life
Is simple:
Love.

But,
Alas,
Karma is a *****.
A ***** that
Does not exist.

Giving love
Gets hate
In return.

I could argue
That I have gained
More people to
Love,
But that is null.
It is never
Reciprocated.

So why do I love?

I cannot help it.
I'm wired that way.

No man,
No woman,
No tragedy,
No act of God
Can change that.

A man of true value
Remains true to the grave.

Karma is a *****.
It should be put out of its misery.
May 2010 · 1.4k
Satisfied?
Sam Oliver May 2010
In the end,
I never harmed any of you.
When you were down,
I held you high.
I drank your pains,
It left me dry.

Does that make you
Satisfied?

You were injured by 'love',
I licked your wounds.
Remember,
I let go of you
Because you
Wanted me to.
But always,
I remained by your side.

Does that make you satisfied?

You asked my hand
Then ****** away,
What was it
You were trying to say?
In the end,
You could not decide.

Does that make you satisfied?

We loved each other,
So I thought.
Till you drowned yourself
In another man's wine.
But I remained steadfast,
I think you'll find.
But forgiveness was my only friend
After you took to the bitter end.
You only wanted me to ride.

Does that make you satisfied?

We loved each other,
So you said,
But all that really
Filled your head
Was using me
To fill your bed.
Till I knew that
I was on your side.

Does that make you satisfied?

You, too.
You also claimed love,
But only as long
As I wore your glove.
I did your deeds,
I sowed your seeds.
But, in the end,
What did you owe me?
Nothing,
Apparently.
From this past,
I cannot hide.

Does that make you satisfied?

You 'loved' me,
But not as much as her.
*******,
You wanted more.
You promised love
All of my days
As long as I
Could always stay
Tolerant of another lover
Who sneaked her way
Into our covers.
In the end,
I had to decide.

I could not make you satisfied.

All the women in my life,
Put me through
Such troubles and strife.
But despite their sins,
I'd hold them in.
For each of them,
I would die.

But they never will be satisfied.
Apr 2010 · 729
Torture
Sam Oliver Apr 2010
There is no worse torture
To the lonely
Than seeing
Public displays of affection.

What is the point?

Holding hands
Everywhere you go,
Hugging,
Kissing,
Snogging.

You're ******* on
Open wounds.

Many of us
Didn't ask to be left.
We didn't volunteer
To be dying inside
With no paddles,
No nurse,
To revive us.

We know what
Heartbreak is.
And soon,
So will you.

You're
Overcompensating.
It's obvious.
You kiss her head,
Caress her face,
She's not your queen.
You have an ace
Hidden in your deck.

You're just hoping
She doesn't draw
Enough to
Expose you.

I have nothing
To make up for.

No sins against
A woman,
No jealousy
Against a man.

I have only
The experience
To tell when
Someone's being had.
Apr 2010 · 767
My Blessings (My Curses)
Sam Oliver Apr 2010
Bless You,
The heart that gives me wings.
Bless You,
The one who lets me sing.
Bless You,
For loving this broken thing.
Bless You
For love neverending.

---

Curse You,
Who I never loved at all.
Curse You,
You were destined to fall.
Curse You,
You succumbed to Siren's Call.
Curse You,
You never loved me after all.

---

The First Verse,
I hold dear.
The Second Verse,
I fear.

No curses
Do I hold for anyone.

My loves,
I'll always love.
My hatred,
Does it exist?

Despite the lies
Despite the noise
Despite the misdirection,
My loves will all be missed.

My curses?
Many.
No love,
No appreciation,
No peace.

My blessings?
Few.
But certainly
Not least.

While I have loved you all,
All my days,
I was fooled that you loved me.

That foolish air
Of false love you shared,
Had its effect on me;

A shot to the chest.
I'll never rest
Until real love,
I'll see.
Apr 2010 · 1.7k
Cultural Double-Standards
Sam Oliver Apr 2010
Gay men are fit to love.
Straight men are fit to curse.

Save the trees.
Save the whales.
Save the seals.
Save the vile criminal.
**** the innocent fetus.

Bush is hated for starting a war.
Obama is loved for perpetuating it.

Hating a black man
Is racism,
Despite his own actions towards you.
Hating a white man?
Expected.
Smiled upon.

Black Power?
Okay.
*******?
Damnable.

A *******?
Fit to marry.
A Gentleman?
Fit to trample.

A man courting a woman?
Accepted.
A woman courting a man?
Strange, unheard of.

Not trying to be political.
Not trying to be partial.
Just trying to be social.
Apr 2010 · 4.3k
Scorpio
Sam Oliver Apr 2010
In the end,
Mars is just a rock.
A rock covered in sand,
Made of worn,
Rusty,
Iron.

That said,
It can't control me.
Only I can,
And that's a point of pride.

I sting as much as I will,
I pinch as much as I will,
And I'll sleep in your sandals
As much as I will.

Thankfully,
I often choose to be benevolent.
Only I can choose my morals,
And that's a point of pride.

I may be passionate,
I may be persistent,
Obsessive,
Loyal,
And manipulative all in one.

But I am that and more.
If Mars is meant to restrict me,
It has failed miserably.
Can the same be said
Of it's rusty sand?

— The End —