It's black.
Look to the left; right. Nothing but darkness.
You look to the sky but the dark canvas is blank. The stars don't shine.
Because that spark in your eye,
Is gone.
What happened to the little girl who used to walk to school every morning with dreams in her head and her heart on her sleeve?
Were her sleeves torn? Heart broken?
Or did she stop believing that the stars were more than lights that guided her hopes and taught her dreams to stay strong?
Did she lose her love for the light and wandered down the alley just to sell her soul to those who cannot dream?
She lost her love.
She lost her dreams.
She had no hope.
Only tears.

THIS IS WHEN IT MATTERS.
These are the moments you can count on your Left Hand....
Times that you didn't know.
You're lost
You're alone.
You never seemed to care though.
WHY?
Because your heart is still beating.
Your blood is still pumping.
But your brain...
YOUR MIND...
is somewhere else.
Your thoughts are on your Right Hand....
STARING
at the creases that seem to collapse into
CANYONS the second your fingers curl into your palm
To create that fist of RAGE.
But you can't seem to throw that punch.
BUT YOU WANT TO SO BAD.
So instead of throwing it at the things that deserve it
You hit yourself.
SO WHY.
WHY is your heart still beating?
WHY is your blood pumping?
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING UP WITH THE ******* THAT ISN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO MATTER?
stop.
Start focusing on that Left Hand,
Now too weak to hold the weight of the things
that YOU
Turned
Away
From.
OPEN YOUR EYES.
See the unseen.

I'm in a pursuit of sadness,
Living a normal life, but wishing I had pain.
I crave that feeling yet again,
And cry for the times I once had
With you, my friend.
Now as I sit here alone in my room,
I feel the creeping monster inside me.
I scream.
Yet in this cat chase for the past,
I would rather be comforted by insanity,
Than defeated by death.

Her heels had gone over her head when she fell for him.
Especially when they became a "them".
The days spent together was three,
And she thought they were meant to be.
That is until the night fell and he began to lurk,
Touching places that to her will forever hurt.
She began with a simple protest,
As fear quickened her heart beneath her chest.
He just wouldn't stop.

He thought the light was green.

He raced through the red sign that she screamed.

No grew to a stop that escalated to a shove,
When he tried to go where she was saving for a love.
The punch finally made him see,
That where he should be,
Was on his knees.
Begging for forgiveness
After hurting her

Scarring her,

Forever engraving this
Unwanted touch
In her now damaged heart.

It was the gleam in your eye
That made me look twice at you.
That made me not want to say "goodbye"
Even though we never said "hello"

You had on that green vest
One that reminded me of the 80's
I could even see the tacky tattoo inked across your chest
You intrigued me
But it was me you didn't see.

I never believed in love at first sight,
That is until I saw you.
Now, every night,
I think about what could have been
If only I was bolder then.

Your smile, your laugh, your nervous tick,
They all belong to him.
But when you smile at me from across the bar,
The urge to know you makes me sick.

I cannot breathe.
The air is stuck in my lungs,
As my endless sorrow begins to seethe.
                  Anger.
                          Anger.
                                 Another slice.
                                             Another release.

We would be considered one.
Your hand would always be in mine, forever intertwined.
We would love through the losses and care through the heart breaks.
You would always be by my side, promising to stay forever.

Forever.
Just another word you used to engulf me in your world that you controlled.
You said we could do anything.

We could fly.

We could fall.

We could have it all.

But we can’t.
Because your hand has left mine, and you left my side.
I never knew forever could end so soon.
Now it is just me and you.

Two.