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a broken mask fractured on the ground
laying in a million tiny pieces.
I am afraid of who I am without my disguise,
which shields me from the uncertainty of this world.
will they accept me for who I am not?
or deny me of who I am becoming?
I can only imagine the rejection and guilt.
my anxious thoughts,
a constant reminder of how destructive my mind can be.
and also, a gesture of how You annoint my head with oil, like a good Shepherd.
who You are making me,
who You have called me to be, oh Lord,
is greater than all the confusion and pain this world holds.
may we cling to Your safety and refuge.
may we rejoice when our pretence is demolished.
i am walking in the valley of the shadow of death, faced with the trials and tribulations it holds.
barefoot and in the dark, with my sin and guilt wrapped around me like a skintight dress.
all the mistakes, all the wrong choices, engraved in my skin like a tattoo.
i am hopeless and starving for another outlet, another drug.
i am afraid, i have no guide, no light.
those cold hands caress my body as temptation leads me in,
i cannot escape its grasp.
i cannot get full.
always empty,
never happy.
and then, You came along.
like a Shepherd, with your rod to pull us out of danger, out of the deep, darkness that encloses.
your staff to guide, and give us rest.
why should i fear?
when You are standing right next to me,
not giving me directions, or a map,
You give me Yourself.
You hold my hand and walk through the darkness with me.
Your light capturing the shadows and lighting the way to the narrow path we walk.
๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ, ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ช ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ฌ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜จ๐˜ฉ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ท๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฉ,
๐˜ช ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ณ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ญ,
๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ.
๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ง๐˜ง,
๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ.
stuck in a tiny metal cage waiting for someone to set them free.
an image of the pure beauty that was created, locked up for our pleasure,
to admire and to shame.
white feathers coated in dust and darkness,
where did it all go wrong?
who is to blame for this insanity?
"all that you want, i have," he says,
but he can never have all that they need.
admiring from the inside of steel bars, the picture of the great green and blue serene, always to admire but never to encounter again.
they are like prisoners, trapped in the confines of the jail he shamelessly created based on lies, deceit and manipulation,
and helplessly they became prey.
in a little metal cage, they gaze at was, and what could've been if their hearts had only fell into Your comforts.
vulnerable and exposed they wait for the day You come to open the tiny gate separating them from life.
and when the birds finally go free,
You will be there, in triumph, watching in joy and love,
giving them the peace that You are.
there will always be wants, but You are all that they need.
๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ˆ๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜—๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ,
๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ด ๐˜ถ๐˜ด ๐˜ง๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ.
your age does not determine your relationship with God.
children became kings, leaders and prophets.
david killed a giant
and the youth of israel were the only individuals who entered the promised land.
so i say again,
your age is not the deciding factor God uses to draw you close to Him.
๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜บ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜Ž๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ?
How does that make sense?
How do you go your whole life proclaiming hate on Someone you donโ€™t believe in?
Because you canโ€™t do both.
You either say something isnโ€™t real and believe your truth, or acknowledge that It is in fact real and base your opinion on that.
But you canโ€™t slander the very same God you say isnโ€™t real.
You believe in gravity and yet it cannot be seen, and there is in fact no logical reason to hate it,
you donโ€™t see it and there it is, keeping us stable and even so, we cannot explain the phenomenon.
However, we can believe in something as enigmatic as an invisible force that keeps you grounded but cringe, mock and scoff at any possibility of God.
And yet, you worship the moon and the starsโ€”objects that predict your future and tell you who you are.
You detest God because you blame Him for the war and violence in the world, and you believe in free will.
We made the war and violence, we created the separation and pain, why do you blame God for what we did?
Thereโ€™s a reason we have free will,
thereโ€™s a reason why, even though He didnโ€™t want it for us,
Adam and Eve made their choice, the same way we have the freedom to make our own.
So you can say whatever you feel about Him but donโ€™t simultaneously say He isnโ€™t real.
๐˜‰๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ฆ ๐˜Ž๐˜ฐ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ฎ.
so many conjunctions, oof!

— The End —