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Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
eyes are burning
lips are cracked
mind is reeling
body's smacked
falling further
down the hole
give me more
then take my soul

******* on all my perceptions
***** me over with one hit
but i choose this infection
threw myself into this pit
take away my memories
blinding all i see
replacing it with neediness
burying it deep inside of me

spit the poison in my mouth
just like i knew you would
i gladly swallow every drop
i've gotten really good
go ahead and **** on everything i'll never be
farewell to awareness and my sensibility

fingers twitching
eyes are squint
nose is dripping
latest stint
its getting harder to crawl
with these broken bones
while you're stripping me down
and you're throwing your stones

go ahead and **** whats left of my vision
this habit wont put up a fight
options seem lost to just one decision
one more fix to get through the night

now spit the poison in my mouth
its what i wanted too
i'll lick and **** up every drop
i can get out of you

liquid drips from my mouth
its such a ***** brown
and i smile when, temporarily
it lifts me off the ground
I am not a poet. I don't know much about syntax, punctuation! etc. I just want to write what I feel.
Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
gazing past picket fence
everything is too intense
inside even walls don’t talk
silence but for a scraping fork

no one seems to notice her
by the window, can’t you hear?
the wordless cry for help she bawls
but soon again her fate comes to call,

“stay with momma, baby
daddy loves you dearly
come stand by me, closely
momma will protect thee.”

the children play with sticks and stones
they shout out words she doesn’t know
hopping round they hug each other
cousin and friend, sister and brother

if only they would say her name
she’d jump right up and join the game
she’d burst through the door and finally see the light
for she knows it’s the key to release her from her plight.

“do not be foolish, darling
what you dream of is crazy
you have not seen what I’ve seen
the world is just too scary.”

the anger builds inside her head
if she’s not allowed to live then she may as well be dead
not permitted just to be, take a bite, have a look-see
but she holds on still, any day now she’ll be set free,

“sweetheart, what a pretty thought
but you've forgotten all I've taught
you've overlooked one detail, see
to get to them, you’ll have to get past me.”
Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
Eyes are lifeless, limpy sack
Shells are barren, print-less tracks
How uninteresting you are to me
You stand there, departed
Like the bark of a tree.

You’re lacking in that something good
No rough patches on your silken wood
You touch me, dull, and frozen stiff
It’s not my intention to be insensitive.


But you leave no lasting impression
With your expressionless expression
And I laugh and cajole
Try to set fire to your soul
And yet not even a hint of aggression.

I try my hand at CPR
It doesn’t get me very far
You’re silent and empty
It kills me, you don’t care
It shouldn’t have to be this hard.

911 help me I’m clueless
How can one be so useless?
I fear that this pain will surely remain
And make this sad song become tuneless.


I’m fighting in vain
Buckling under the strain
Denial now my enemy
You’re just a dead brain.

And I scrap, battle, blow
But unlike the tree,
You have no capacity to grow
I really am afraid
You’re a dead brain.

And it dawns on me
You have no place in my journey
And you don’t even see
You’re the dead brain on the gurney.
Crystal Kelly Apr 2014
I have all the pills
that fill
that ****

that settle me
each time I spill
restore me
when I'm ******* ill
warm me
when I feel a chill
nurse me when
I'm crying still
carry me when I
don't have the will

my pills patch up
infested wounds until
my fettered heart no longer thrills.
Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
I like to read my book
I read all night and day
I don’t help mother cook
I don’t go out to play
I don’t take notes in class
Or skip with Jess at lunch
Sometimes when I read fast
I can read books by the bunch
I don’t carve hearts on trees
I don’t worry about the dance
I’m not bothered with birds or bees
Or a summer romance
When father takes the boat
And tries to get me on
I hide somewhere remote
And wait until he’s gone
Because I like to read my book
In summers, winters, springs
It’s my one and only hook
I like the bliss it brings
Somewhere from my childlike side...
Crystal Kelly Sep 2014
i'm becoming my mother
not the young, beautiful
confident woman she was
at 22
i'm becoming my mother
not the hopeful, brave
fearless woman i see grinning mischievously
in the faded, yellow picture
not her that was
but her that is
her
now
the only her i've seen
the one afraid to change
the one who won't take chances
the one who doesn't want to be seen
i'm becoming my mother
the lonely, bitter
sad old lady
the tired, faithless crone.
i'm becoming my mother
and i'm only 23.
Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
Its hard to be attentive
When all I wanna do
Is go searching for that rabbit hole
I don’t want to have a clue

Its hard to be balanced
When all I wanna do
Is make up pretty stories
And believe that they’re true

Its hard to be respectable
When all I wanna do
Is drink one too many
And pass out in the loo

Its hard to be proper
When all I wanna do
Is dance around the office
To all my favorite tunes

Its hard to be hard working
When all I wanna do
Is kick my feet up
And write a poem or two

Oh, its hard to be
Just be anything
When all I wanna do
is do.
Crystal Kelly Nov 2014
if i wrote you poetry
it would be art
but i would not explain it
or reveal its meaning
i would leave it open
to interpretation
i would let it have as many meanings
as there could impossibly be
but it's human nature to
want to understand everything if there is
no understanding
and no meaning is given
YOU WOULD JUST GET ANGRY
and not embrace its mystery
Crystal Kelly Apr 2014
I have no confusion
I know what you can do
you are in my sight
you are in my eyes
what you don't see
does not exist to me
all that's falling
you take in
pieces whole to you
fixed is boring
you talk lightly
I hear nothing else
you're not from here
it's different
you're different
teach me
your luminosity
I want in
I'm like
all the others
find in me
a bend a buckle
single me out
high up
observe
I am alone
alone
high up
I will laugh
it will all seem
silly
Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
Worried about me when I frown
Afraid for me when I look down
Probe me when I don’t make a sound
If I walk away you follow me around

What is it that you want from me?
Don’t treat me like an idol
You try so hard to look into me
One glare and suddenly I’m suicidal

Stop coming up my way
Please listen to me when I say
I want you just to go away
It’s personal.

Try to cheer me when I’m sad
Try to calm me when I’m mad
Really think you’ve got it bad
I’m not your friend, I’m not a fan

How else can I explain to you?
Comprehend the signs
I don’t want to confide in you
Stop telling me you're mine

Please refrain
Don’t ask again
One word remains, it’s:
Personal.

Don’t keep me close
Don’t try to coax
This is no hoax.
It’s personal.
Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
I dress in white after Labor Day
I question everything they say
I jump and skip in my work hallway
Everybody says “no” while I say “Nay”

I crunch numbers just for fun
I raise my hands toward the sun
I run around with my water gun
I carry on although it’s done

I smear my face with lines of dirt
On Casual Day I wear a shirt
I don’t know what it is to flirt
I have a blow-up doll called Bert

When I laugh alone I point to my feet
At times I stand up on my seat
I use a British accent when I greet
Disorganized, but awfully neat

I race with my trolley in the shopping mall
I point and laugh when somebody falls
When asked an urgent question I deliberately stall
Because no one will talk to me, I talk to the wall

I correct people just because I can
In summer I steal all my colleagues’ fans
When they lie on towels I play in the sand
I jump on stage and feign being in the band

I sit and eat my lunch alone
I pretend to talk on my cell phone
I hum and sing till I hear them groan
Then I jump and I skip all the merry way home
Crystal Kelly Nov 2014
but when he lost heart,
a girl
uncensured desperation,
insane he chose
******:
thirty years
Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
There’s a little door behind my desk

It will not budge, I try my best

I pull and tug but it is stuck

I knock three times and try my luck

All day I sit and stare at it

Any longer I may have a fit

My tedious job makes for no distraction

I need to think less and take some action

At lunch I buy a box of tools

I open up, sift through the screws

I grab something that looks like it would do the trick

When it doesn’t work I consider a brick

Hours, days and weeks go by

Curiosity eats at me, and I want to cry

I jump up and rush out through the door

Then return a little later with a razor sharp saw

Like a woman possessed, I cut through the wood

No one dares to stop me, not that they ever could

It finally gives in to the pressure and inside lies a note

“Ha ha” It says, “You’ve just fallen for the biggest joke.”
Crystal Kelly Nov 2014
Things remain with us
the best
ordinary
*******
Crystal Kelly Nov 2014
Love me so much that it hurts?

Why not love me the amount that feels good inside?
Crystal Kelly Jun 2012
I see you from a distance and it seems to be surreal
So bizarre how just one glimpse can finalize the deal
There’s no wonder what it is that captivates me so
Picture perfect body with a flawless soul.

Skin so soft like the touch of burnet
Eyes so blue you can’t ever forget
Hair waving carefree like the ocean
Lips curling up with a secret notion

You walk with confidence and pride
Your face so expressive to how you feel inside
But never arrogant nor superior
Yet hold yourself steady with the poise of a warrior

And all I see is perfection
An exquisite little confection
Of rosy cheeks, and when you speak
I feel a bone-deep connection.

Arms so sturdy, however yields to an embrace
Never have I ever seen a lovelier face
Don’t pass me by, please look my way
Please give me hope, please, won’t you stay?

I can see from the distance between you and me
From tip to toe you are divine
I can hardly wait to make you mine
No more distance, pretty please?
You’re so utterly lovely.

— The End —