Don't listen to me
Don't believe a thing I say
I will lie to you
I will trick you
I will manipulate you
I will ******* over
I will do anything
To try and keep you

I'm setting my myself up for this
Whenever you call
I could let it go to voicemail
Whenever you text
I could not reply
Whenever you ask to hang out
I could say no
But I dont
I can't say no to you
I'm just setting myself up
For all this hurt

I lay here
In the dark
Dreaming of a place
Where the good reign
And the bad aren't real
I dream of a place
Where all the children run around
With full bellies and a genuine smile
I dream of a place
Where love is love
No matter what kind
But I tuck that dream
Back in the deep corners of my brain
And slip back into reality
Only to find the opposite place

I am bleeding
Blood trickles down my arms
It gushes down my legs
You made me do this
You tricked me
Lied to me
Played me
Ruined me
You are killing me
I will soon die from being
Mentally
Physically
Emotionally
Exhausted
You have caused me so much pain
You cannot blame me when this becomes the
  way I release it
This is because of you
And only you

I want you
To do
So many things to me
I want you to breathe me in
Like I'm the summer air
I want you to stare at me
Like I'm actually beautiful
I want you to hold my hand
Like it was made to fit
I want you to kiss me
Like I taste like candy
I want you **** me
Like I'm an animal
I want you to love me
Like you actually care

Wow
You're with her
Totally happy
Yet you still want to hang out
You still call me beautiful
You still want to do those beautiful things to me

It's not gonna happen
I won't let you play me again
No more
We're done
I don't need you
I have other things to keep me occupied

I have things to distract me from you
But in all honesty
They're more addicting than you are

Alcohol
Cigarettes
Drugs

I could do these things 24/7
I do them a lot
But no

My worst descision
My worst addiction
Is you

It's beautiful
The numbness
The perfection
Of it all
Of everything
It's so beautiful
How much better the music sounds
How much better the food tastes
How much better your mind feels
Oh it's perfect
Glorious
Wonderful
Amazing
Beautiful
Now look at me
I'm flying

There she goes
She smiles at you with pearly whites
Her perfect auburn hair flows behind her
Her beautiful blue eyes stare at you
They are filled with love

You smile back
With an equal amount of love
Your green eyes sparkle
You run your hands through you hair
And blush when she hugs you

I watch from a distance
I try to hide my pain
My despair
As I feel my heart breaking
There's only one way to survive this

She is perfect
She is beautiful
I'm not perfect
I'm not beautiful
I can't compare

So I'll go
I'll cry
I'll drink
I'll smoke
Until the pain finally stops

I've been thinking
That maybe I should write a book
A novel
But then I say to myself,
"No, you can't do that."
"You're thoughts go all over the place."
"You have to be focused to write a book."
"You're not focused."
"You can't even focus yourself long enough,"
"to keep you sane."
Yeah, I'm not going to write a book
Or a novel
I have to work
On my sanity first.

This hurts so bad
I've never felt pain like this
I've seen your texts
The texts with her
You truely are a perfect couple
But, what about me?
What happens to me?
You've left me by myself
Again
I can't stop crying
I can't stop thinking
I can't stop feeling
I want you so bad
I would sell my soul for you
And you know that
I would run away for you
And you know that
I would **** for you
And you know that
But it doesn't matter
You're with her
And I can't compete with her

I thought you could make it out
But you couldn't
You didn't even try
Now you're forcing the same terrible fate
That was forced upon you
You're drowning others
With false beauty and fool's gold
You've lost your chance
You let it slip
Right between your fingers

Stay with me as I release this pain
Stay with me here in heaven
Together, forever
We will be free
We will drink
We will smoke
We will fly
We will bleed
We will sweat
We will release these demons
We will be together
Through it all
We will become intertwined
One beautiful creature
One beautiful wolf in sheep's clothing

What is this?
Where am I?
Everything's spinning
Spiraling
  Down
    Down
      Down
Taking me to my destiny
Taking me to my final resting place
Taking me all the way down
To Hell

It's time
Time for me to leave
I'll pack a bag
Of my few belongings
I'll stand on the side of the road
Stick my thumb out
And hope I don't get killed
I'll keep riding until I reach my destination
I'll change my name
Dye my hair
Change everything about me
I'll live my new life
The good life
The free life
Here in this unknown place
That I'll soon call home

I'm sitting here
At the foot of my bed
On my hands and knees
Praying to a god I don't even believe in
I'm praying
I'm yearning
I'm hoping
For everything to be right again
For everything to be like it used to be
I've missed it all
So much
Please god
If you're up there
Let it all go back
To how it used to be

It's too much
I'm not dealing with your *******
  I'm going to block you out
   I'm going to escape this place
    I'm going to forget everything
     Just for a little while
      I'm going to be numb
       I'm going to be happy
        Just for a little while

This isn't working
This isn't working
This isn't working
I drank a bottle of *****
And all I could think about
Was how you said you loved
The smell of vanilla
And how I wore vanilla perfume
Everyday for a year
I'm not supposed to remember you
Years have passed
And you were supposed to have
Been fried from my brain
Like the rest of my memories
I'm so tired
I don't want this
Please
I'm so ******* tired

I write too many poems
About you
I daydream too much
About you
I think too much
About you

Do you ever write poems
About me?
Do you ever daydream
About me?
Do you ever think
About me?

I know you don't
So why do I even bother?

Help me
Someone
Anyone
Help me
I'm sick
I can't think
I can't sleep
I can't breathe
My head hurts
My stomache aches
My brain's fried
I'm hungover
I'm withdrawn
I'm crashing
Someone help me
Help me
Pick me back up again

You're lost
You're in too deep
You got caught up
They've drowned you
In their false beauty
Swim out
Keep going
You can make it out
Get out
While you've still got the chance

You're happy now
You have her
You have your friends back
You have your sister back
You're happy now

I'm not happy now
I lost you
Some of my friends are being complicated
My brother couldn't give two ***** about me
I'm not happy now

We were happy together
Even though we weren't really together
We had fun
We laughed
We lived

Now look at us
Look what happened
You were the one that said...
The one that said, I never want to be strangers
Now look what you did

I am rising up
Through the blue sky
And into a whole new world
My new world
Here I am anything
Here I am everything
Here I am invincible
Unstoppable
Immortal
Beautiful
Here I am everything
That I am not there

Everything's spinning around me
I'm fading into the dark
I'm trembling
I'm sobbing
I'm screaming
I'm biting my bottom lip so hard
That it bleeds
I can't escape this hell
I can't escape myself
No matter how hard I try.

Come with me
We're gonna drive
Drive far, far away
Just you and me
We've burned bridges in this place
We've been hurt in this place
So tell me:
Why stay?

We are not together
  Yet you still get mad when I talk to guys
We are not together
  Yet I still get mad when you talk to girls
We are not together
  Yet I let you touch me like we are
We are not together
  Yet I gave up everything for us.

Look around you
Look at what we've all created
The war
The crime
The poverty
The hate
So much hate
Where's the peace?
The morals?
The riches?
The love?
Where did it all go?
Look at our world
Look at the mess we've created

Where'd you go?
I thought you were supposed to help us
Why is so terrible down here
There's so much fear
So much hate
Did we all **** up in another life
Is this the Hell
You said you would condemn us to?

I've missed this
The loud music
The wind blowing in our faces
The sense of not caring
Not caring about tomorrow
Or the next day
Only knowing
That this
Is what matters
What really matters is
Now

Please
Please
Please
Give me what I want
Tease me
Leave me alone
Never go away
I need you
I hate you
I can't make up my mind
I'm falling

I'm so tired
I'm tired of trying
To fix what we used to have
I'm tired of trying
To forget you
I'm tired of
Trying
Screaming
Crying
Feeling
Will I ever
Be at peace
Again?

No, no, no.
This is so wrong.
You move my hair out of the way,
And place your lips on my neck.
No, no, no.
You touch me,
And I shutter.
No, no, no.
This is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Now you worship me,
You would kiss the ground I step on.
But no, no, no.
This is wrong.
But *******,
It feels right, right, right.

How could you?
You just keep using me
   Like I don't even matter
    Like I don't even have feelings
     You keep using me
       What am I to you?
         Am I anything?
           No?
            Alright then
              Looks like I wasted my time

They've hurt me so much
They've torn me down
Beat me up
And ****** on what was left
But now,
I've gotten so used it
I can't feel it anymore
All I do now is lay there
And wait for someone to give
The final blow

I never knew I could feel like this
For once I'm free
I take a cigarette
And push it into my skin
There is no pain
I feel no pain
I'm falling
And it doesn't hurt
I'm bleeding
And it doesn't hurt
For once I'm alive
For once I can breathe
As I fall down
Tumbling from the moon
Back to earth
I catch on fire
There is no pain
I am alive
I am free