What is this?
Where am I?
Everything's spinning
Spiraling
  Down
    Down
      Down
Taking me to my destiny
Taking me to my final resting place
Taking me all the way down
To Hell

I'm so tired
I'm tired of trying
To fix what we used to have
I'm tired of trying
To forget you
I'm tired of
Trying
Screaming
Crying
Feeling
Will I ever
Be at peace
Again?

I like being alone
And yet I don't
I like being alone
Because I don't have to pretend
Pretend to be happy
I don't like being alone
Because I don't trust myself to be alone
With my thoughts

Look at what you've done to me
I spend all my time thinking about you   Daydreaming about the possibility of us
I'm failing half my classes
Because I can't focus on anything but you
I can't sleep anymore
Not without pills
Because you've stolen my peace at mind
When I do manage a moment of rest
It's because I've cried myself to sleep
Because of how hurt I am
Thanks for this
Now when I look in the mirror
I stand there and wonder,
" What the hell happened to you? "

I write too many poems
About you
I daydream too much
About you
I think too much
About you

Do you ever write poems
About me?
Do you ever daydream
About me?
Do you ever think
About me?

I know you don't
So why do I even bother?

Alcohol
Cigarettes
Drugs

I could do these things 24/7
I do them a lot
But no

My worst descision
My worst addiction
Is you

There she goes
She smiles at you with pearly whites
Her perfect auburn hair flows behind her
Her beautiful blue eyes stare at you
They are filled with love

You smile back
With an equal amount of love
Your green eyes sparkle
You run your hands through you hair
And blush when she hugs you

I watch from a distance
I try to hide my pain
My despair
As I feel my heart breaking
There's only one way to survive this

She is perfect
She is beautiful
I'm not perfect
I'm not beautiful
I can't compare

So I'll go
I'll cry
I'll drink
I'll smoke
Until the pain finally stops

This hurts so bad
I've never felt pain like this
I've seen your texts
The texts with her
You truely are a perfect couple
But, what about me?
What happens to me?
You've left me by myself
Again
I can't stop crying
I can't stop thinking
I can't stop feeling
I want you so bad
I would sell my soul for you
And you know that
I would run away for you
And you know that
I would **** for you
And you know that
But it doesn't matter
You're with her
And I can't compete with her

I'm here
In my house
By myself
I'm planning
Planning my escape
As I sit here
Listening to the Ramones
Drinking the night away
Im planning my escape
My escape from this town
My escape from my past
My escape from you
My escape from me

Let's be honest
You don't really like me
   Do you?
     I'm just a **** buddy
      Aren't I?

Let's be honest
I don't really like you
  Do I?
   You're just my **** buddy
     Aren't you?

Lets be honest
I know my feelings
  I fell for you hard
   But let's be honest
     How do you feel about me?

You just continue to surprise me
Don't you?
You can't even be faithful to your new girl
Can you?
She deserves better than you
Doesn't she?
I guess you just don't give a **** about either of us
Do you?

This is insanity
We're so young
Yet we do such old things
We shouldn't be doing this
It's immoral
It's disgusting just to think
That we actually do this
It's horrifying to know
That we enjoy it so much

Let's make a difference
For the good
Let's protest for
The environment
Gay marriage
End the war
Let's sing for
The homeless
The unfortunate
The children
Let's inspire
The Addicts
The Depressed
The Dreamers
Let's make a difference
Let's make the world
A better place

Wow
You're with her
Totally happy
Yet you still want to hang out
You still call me beautiful
You still want to do those beautiful things to me

It's not gonna happen
I won't let you play me again
No more
We're done
I don't need you
I have other things to keep me occupied

I have things to distract me from you
But in all honesty
They're more addicting than you are

You're happy now
You have her
You have your friends back
You have your sister back
You're happy now

I'm not happy now
I lost you
Some of my friends are being complicated
My brother couldn't give two ***** about me
I'm not happy now

We were happy together
Even though we weren't really together
We had fun
We laughed
We lived

Now look at us
Look what happened
You were the one that said...
The one that said, I never want to be strangers
Now look what you did

I can't believe you would do this to me
What happened to you loving me?
What happened to you saying I was beautiful?
What happened to those love filled nights?
What happened to the sneaking out?
Just to see each other?
Why would you do this to me?
Hurt me so much?
Why won't you come back with me?
Back to the good old days?
How can you not miss me?!
Like I miss you?
How can you be with her?
When you know I'm always there?
How can you not see everything?
Everything I did for you?

I'm gonna leave this godforsaken town
I'll hitchhike out west
To California
To the beach
The infinite ocean
Doesn't know who I was
It gives me the opportunity
To a clean slate
Oh god how I need that
I'll get to start over
I'll leave the past behind me
And I'll look forward to what lies ahead

Johnny Cash
It surprises me how people my age
Don't even really know who he was
A troubled man
With a troubled life
That created the most beautiful songs
A troubled man
Saved by a girl
A beautiful girl
A troubled man
Who never gave a ****
Who did what he wanted
It's a shame so many people don't remember him
He was truely
Revolutionary

I'm so lost
Lost in this desert
Of mistakes and regrets
A year ago
I was in a beautiful place
A lush forest where dreams came true
But not any more
I ****** myself over
And dwindled down to here
A desert made for the miserable
A desert made for all the dumbfucks
A desert made for all the people like me

You finally did it
You finally pushed all my buttons
Got on every last nerve
Pushed me over the edge
You just love to see me in pain
No, wait
No you don't
I don't even matter that much to you
I'm just the toy at the bottom of the chest
You'll only play with me for a little while
Then you'll throw me aside for another toy
A better toy
And no matter what
You know I'll never leave the chest
You know I'll always be there
Always be waiting for the off chance
That someday I'll be your favorite toy

I am bleeding
Blood trickles down my arms
It gushes down my legs
You made me do this
You tricked me
Lied to me
Played me
Ruined me
You are killing me
I will soon die from being
Mentally
Physically
Emotionally
Exhausted
You have caused me so much pain
You cannot blame me when this becomes the
  way I release it
This is because of you
And only you

We are not together
  Yet you still get mad when I talk to guys
We are not together
  Yet I still get mad when you talk to girls
We are not together
  Yet I let you touch me like we are
We are not together
  Yet I gave up everything for us.

You come up to me
And you kiss me
It's hard, rough
Then I smell it
The smell of too many drinks
You drag me to the bathroom
You push me against the wall
You kiss everywhere
You touch everywhere
This isn't you
The real you
The you that would normally
  lay me down on a soft bed
The you that would kiss my neck
The you that would be so tender
So gentle
This you is an animal
A monster taken over by alcohol
I know you will leave bruises
I know you will do it again in 10 minutes
I know you won't even remember tomorrow
So why do I not object?
Why do I just go along?

I am rising up
Through the blue sky
And into a whole new world
My new world
Here I am anything
Here I am everything
Here I am invincible
Unstoppable
Immortal
Beautiful
Here I am everything
That I am not there

Stay with me as I release this pain
Stay with me here in heaven
Together, forever
We will be free
We will drink
We will smoke
We will fly
We will bleed
We will sweat
We will release these demons
We will be together
Through it all
We will become intertwined
One beautiful creature
One beautiful wolf in sheep's clothing

I need you
I need your kisses
I need your bites
I need your passion
I need your hands everywhere
I need you to explore
Explore my taboo places
I need your smell
I need your touch
I need your taste
I need to see you
I need to hear you
I need you to lie down with me
I need you in my bed
I need your everything
And I need you to know
  I'm not good at sharing

**** mirrors
They never show me what I want
It always comes out warped
Disoriented
Twisted
I hate it
I hate what stares back at me
A hideous beast
One that should be locked away
Never to be seen
Ever

This I *******
I hate being in my right mind
Or as close as I'll ever get to it
There's nothing left in this place for us
This place of monsters and demons
It's too real
So let's go
Let's fly
I wanna go so high
I want you to take me there
Let's smoke until we can't see what's in front of us
Let's smoke until we can't think straight
Let's just smoke
You and me
Flying

You disappoint me
They disappoint me
We disappoint me
I disappoint me
Nothing is ever right
No matter how hard we try
The amount of effort we give
Will end up being pointless
So I don't try anymore
People ask me why
Why? Why? Why?
They say, why did you stop?
They say, you were so good
I say, you didn't think that back then
I say, I was never good enough
I say, so there's no point anymore
At that moment my heart tells me,
A piece of you just died

I'm drowning
In a vast sea
In a wonderful, wonderful sea of
Smirnoff
It's suffocating me
But I can't get enough
I love it too much
I breathe it in
It sets me free
It frees me of these troubles
Frees me of you
Frees me of me
So go ahead
Be with her
I've got my beautiful sea
It makes me forget
It makes me complete

An ******* is someone that is hated by everyone
An ******* is someone that is loved by everyone
An ******* is someone that has everything
An ******* is someone that wants more
And more and more and more and more
An ******* is someone that gets more
An ******* is someone that can get anyone
An ******* is someone that makes you tear down        
   your fortress of protection
An ******* is someone that makes you build
    bigger walls in the end
An ******* is someone you would do anything for
An ******* is someone that doesn't appriciate it
Point is, you're an *******
And you disgust me

I hope you're having fun
I hope having a wonderful time
A wonderful time with that girl
The girl that you picked over me

No, no I don't
I hope she hurts you
I hope she stomps on your heart
I hope she makes you feel like ****
So that way our feelings can be mutual again

I hope you realise how selfish you are
I hope you see how much I gave up for you
I hope you just see me
I hope I just see you

I hope I get over you
Fast
I hope I realise how dumb I was to believe you
To believe your lies
Your fake promises

I hope I realise my list of hopes
Is hopeless.

I ought to hit you
I ought to kick you
I ought to stab you
I ought to cut you
I ought to **** you
Oh god I want to **** you
I want you dead
I want you gone
Vaporized
But it's not you I'm talking about
Even though that's what you deserve
But I'm talking about someone else
Someone that I've known longer
Someone that I know all too well
Someone that truly deserves this
That disgusting thing I'm talking about
Is me.

You run up to me in the hall
  Ask me what's up
    I begin to reply, but
      I see you run
       You run up to her
       And that reminds me of my place
      I am your confidence
     I am your will power
    I am your support
   I am your friend
But that's all
  You still lead me on
    You still claim you have feelings for me
      You still bring up the things that we once did
        You still say that I'm beautiful
          You still make me feel special
            But I hate you so much
           I hate your love and affection
          I hate the way you treat me
        You treat me like ****
      But this is all a lie
    I only hate what you make me do
  I only hate that you make me love you

This place suffocates me
It wraps its hands around my neck
  It chokes me
   It reminds me
     Reminds me of what happened here
       Reminds me of how I royally ****** up
         Time and time again
           Its hands are still around my neck
             It works for karma
               It's giving me what I deserve
                 It's killing me
                   Because that's what I deserve
                     It's killing me
                       And I couldn't care less