I never knew I could feel like this
For once I'm free
I take a cigarette
And push it into my skin
There is no pain
I feel no pain
I'm falling
And it doesn't hurt
I'm bleeding
And it doesn't hurt
For once I'm alive
For once I can breathe
As I fall down
Tumbling from the moon
Back to earth
I catch on fire
There is no pain
I am alive
I am free

I shake and I shiver
My eyes are covered
Blindness
Tears fall from my eyes
Hot, hot tears
Blood is dripping
It falls from everywhere
My brain is fuzzy
Numb
Oh god, not again
I feel it
The pain in my chest
My heart
The swelling
The aching
Oh god not again
Gravity pulls me towards
The infinite nothing
Of a sad, sad forest
Here I will spend forever
Oh god not again.

Please
Please
Please
Give me what I want
Tease me
Leave me alone
Never go away
I need you
I hate you
I can't make up my mind
I'm falling

No, no, no.
This is so wrong.
You move my hair out of the way,
And place your lips on my neck.
No, no, no.
You touch me,
And I shutter.
No, no, no.
This is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Now you worship me,
You would kiss the ground I step on.
But no, no, no.
This is wrong.
But *******,
It feels right, right, right.

These places
These events
These things
Cloud my mind
And the fog won't let up
This thick fog,
Full of narcissism and anger,
Reek of *******
That tries to hide me from beauty
The beauty of the thought that I could actually
  be my own person some day.

Explore my mind
Plunge deep within
To each and every corner
Find the horrid,
Disgusting,
*****-inducing
Thoughts that run destructivly thought my mind
See the sickening things that makes up the person
Known as me

I thought you could make it out
But you couldn't
You didn't even try
Now you're forcing the same terrible fate
That was forced upon you
You're drowning others
With false beauty and fool's gold
You've lost your chance
You let it slip
Right between your fingers