A Poem to My Lilliepad
She's a girl trapped in a world crafted by crooks
Few wrong turns was all it took.
it started off like any other story
growing up full of dreams
until the day she met a boy and fell in love
you should know
nothing is ever what it seems
she was brave, yet everything ends in dust
I feared that everything for her was lost

Then she had her baby girl
that planted an axle in her world
trapped still that she may be
she has something now to keep her clean
keep her ground; safe and sound

Everyday he puts her down
makes her feel small
he isn't even tall
not many can see her frown
but I do.
I see the pain.
I see her confused.
Stuck to the fate that she did choose
back in the day.
She needed to make a change to get away.

He still does those things,
she still lives with him.
But I have faith that she will grow her wings.
Make her escape from her mistakes.
She has all she needs to leave one day.
All her love for her little Lillieanna Mae

Watching you watch me
thinking I don't see.
I don't think you think.
You chased me away,
I haven't cared since.
I can't stand to see your face,
or having you in my space.
I've been done with these games
you love to play.
When you speak
I don't hear a word you say.
Blah blah blah
How it translates in my head.
Wah wah wah
that's all you said.
I have no more tears on you to shed
you made you bed,
full of lies
Now lie in it.

I pass you in the hallway everyday.
I don't look you in the eye,
as you walk by.
I pretend you don't exist.
Though in reality my heart does race.
I think about you every minute,
of every hour,
of every day.
I try so hard to stop all the thoughts,
but I can not seem to get them to go away.
I can not seem to get you out of my head.
And that tiny insignificant moment,
is my favorite part in every day.

Fire within my soul
Fighting the untouchable
Trying to win a losing battle
Pain with every movement
Pain; the definition of my existance
No power to resist
With big brother always watching
His eyes full of laughter and ridicule
They take me as a fool
Convincing even me that they are right
That I'm a waste of life

Human nature;
               immature until proven otherwise.
Considering themselves wise.
      Lies.
         Heresy.
                I say
years don't mean a thing.
Experiences,
            suffering;
                 create an aging soul.
                                           Rather than eternal youth.

Now everything is gone with the wind
and frankly I just don't give a ****
just like Scarlet O' Hara
I'm scared but will not show it
I will build myself back up
from rock bottom
I wont be a coward like the lion
I am mighty like the puma
nothing can keep me low for long
this is me, I am strong.

I'm aware You don't care.
I don't need your constant reminder
seeing your face is enough
reliving the pain on a regular bases
is already too much
normally I'm fine
with drawing a line
and playing make believe in my mind
that you never had my heart
but when you speak
your stone cold words at me
they hit and do damage you can not see
causing internal bleeding
which could one day lead to a
**Fatality

You are just a boy.
Even though you think you are a man.
You treat females like toys,
playing around until you lose interest in them,
then throwing them aside
as if they are not important.

All work and no love
makes you feel tough.
If you stick with this course
you forever be stuck in a state,
this constant rut.

I know people crave eternal youth,
but that shouldn't be your fate.
Just pointing out;
you need to change your ways
before it gets to be too late.

Why should humans have hearts?
Many don't even use them.
They just get broken,
by deception,
by lies.
Most of all by dreams.
Dreams that get stripped away from the core.
By reality,
who does not want to be seen.
Even though it was there,
just ignored.
Unbearable,
until shoved in the face.
Destroying any happiness that tried to exist.
Leaving two pieces of what was once a heart.
Now just a person that is lovesick.

Modern Day Cinderella
Everyone knows the fairytale
a precious little girl
growing up in hell
with her step-sisters
and step-mom of evil
that want nothing more,
but to trap her in her shell.
As you all know their plan
to hide her away
and keep her from her prince
failed miserably.
This story can relate to a girl I once knew.
Though in her story
she isn't saved by a fella,
this is my modern day cinderella.

Coming from a broken home,
so nothing normal ever known.
Parents divorced before the fighting
could be imprinted in her memory.
Two years later her father remarried.
So all the sudden she had a new family.
Things were okay at the start,
until she got a little older.
Then it all started to rot.
The stepmother turning green,
full of envy, turning mean.
Father always working late,
her mother off on drugs wasting away.
No one was around to notice the change,
to see the pain on that little girls face.
Her step-mom made her cry everyday.
Hate was the term,
used on a regular basis.
The fear this women created,
evil ever so jaded.
Picking up after her step-sisters day after day.
Who loved to use their anger
to make fun of her, tease her
if she didn't appease them.
Spending all the time she could
hiding in her room
for hours upon end.
They preferred her to be non-existent.

There came a day where
she became brave
and decided to take a stand
she played her hand
escaped the fate she was trapped in
breaking the chains.
Ending this story I tell ya
of modern day Cinderella.

I don't know what love is,
and I wont claim to be what I'm not.
I do know how a feel,
a feeling that is unreal.
Just a few thoughts carries in the butterflies;
goosebumps as their cargo.
Just a simple touch gives me the chills,
leaves me crazing more,
more of you.
You are my new addiction.
Consuming my mind.
Not even realizing the effect you have on me,
making me crazy.

Perfection is the Idea
                 Happiness the Goal
                               Money will not take us there.
                                                 Though for Wealth we sell our Souls.

Always fighting an inner war within my mind.
To do what I want,
or what is right.
Rarely do these choices coincide.
That would be too simple.
And so I sigh.
Morality is such a burden
for a good-hearted person.
Though guilt is a much heavier load;
that I should know.
So I must keep to myself.
Follow the golden rule;
though faded as it may be.
I still try to treated people how I want to be treated.
Avoid being too conceited.
Be kind to my foes,
and smile at my enemies.
There are much more important things in life,
than whether or not I am liked.
So if you don't have something nice to say,
just lock your lips and throw out the key.
And go far away from me.

A heart
seemingly durable
but altogether delicate
so simply broken
but never completely destroyed
every time
piece by piece
put back together
bringing growth
along with fear and desperation
yet so many so easily guarded
then the almighty prince comes again
tearing down walls that were built
conquering those fears
taking that major leap
leading to what is thought to be irreparable defeat
widely known as
the ultimate broken heart

I crave the storm.
I crave the thunder.
In the rain I feel reborn
No more pain.
I go under.
The trance it put's me in,
is like no other.
When the lighting shocks my mind,
temporarily removes the numb.
This way I can find,
something I had left behind.
I do not recommend too often looking back,
and getting lost in the past.
Storms are never meant to last.
Take deep breaths;
the calm comes next.
The darkness recedes,
then I'll feel clean.
Stillness becomes the trees;
with an occasional breeze.
The sky a silent gray.
No longer fading away.
If only I could leave with the storm.
Have a drought of my whereabouts.

Oh storm, how I adore,  
Just take me with you.
I'll sacrifice my form;
be no more.