your voice a sweet
          ripe
          be-
          cause
every morning in my
          stomach left
          gravel-
          like
coffee-stained tongues,
          rolling from tips  
          like peach pits -
          devoured
slowstickysweet, the
          center
          of each
          earthy
          peach.

So many guideposts,
Unseen.
Unrecognized.
Like faces on a bus, kinda blended into a background,
Where being a face-in-the-crowd,
Was a good thing,
Anonymous really,
Just someone else,
Not me.
Me, being an identity,
A separate and identifiable entity,
I cannot blend in,
I am known.

Translucent,
Clearly visible,
That which lies within,
Malleable when heated to extreme,
By passion or regret,
Accepting the arrangements,
And shape and form,
Of that which afflicts and guides it,
Made ornate with,
Precious events and horrific realities,
It slowly becomes opaque,
No longer allowing light to pass,
Reflecting instead,
What was inside,
Now dead,
Hardened and brittle,
So easily shattered,
Shards and fragments,
like razors,
make unwanted openings,
To a great depth,
Into the soul,
Of the one who possesses such a frail and perishable,
Glass heart.

The form and nature,
Of a person,
Or something associated with them,
A very peculiar notion,
Distinguished from other beings,
With kind feelings and mild dispositions,
Sympathy and benevolence,
Politeness as well,
Learning and concerned,
Reflections and opinions,
Meditations of oneself,
Principles and considerations,
Engrossed in truth,
We trifle,
Without knowledge of meaning,
In an all too abrupt life.

She said to me,
If that's the way I wanted it,
Then that's the way it should be,
It's not the way I want,
There is no way I would ever want,
To lose a friend is hard,
To lose a good friend even harder,
To lose the best friend ever,
Is without a doubt harder,
Than anything I've done before,
Tears don't tell the story,
Heart again being torn to shreds,
She was the one who pasted all the parts together again,
And now she leaves?
Without tears,
Just walked away,
As if nothing means nothing no more,
An easy goodbye,
Like all was nothing all along,
Just a pretend love,
Illusory, and made up,
Pretend.

Down,
Deflated,
Morose,
Sullen,
Life without you,
Seems outright stupid.

Your little girl,
     Her eyes so keen
Follow you into your dreams

Her little voice,
     Your violent choice
Change her life forever

When will you,
     Stop popping those pills
As she watches, crying in a corner

When will she,
     Be free of you
And the baggage that you carry

I loved you,
I lived you,
I laughed with you,
I changed with you,
I cried about you,
I lied about you,
I danced with you,
I smiled with you,
I tried with you,
Until that faithful day,
when I died with you.

So my dear as I sit and remember,
you feel all so near,
All those days when I thought I’d have you forever,
make me feel like I wasn’t very clever,
I miss you more and more,
Although thinking about you I never bore,
With all those times we shared,
and oh how you cared,
Many nights alone I spend thinking about the depths of your eyes,
wishing and hoping that my love for you never dies.

Emotional regression
I’m curled in a ball
Eyes bloodshot and sight blurred from tears
Flashbacks of the middle school pains bubble up inside me
I swallow hard
Push down the memories and the taste of bile
I’m not a prepubescent thirteen year old
Those days are far-gone
I’m strong and independent
Yet somehow you shake me