my eyes surveil an unconscious world
saturation, a curse
who cares if my blood is a deep crimson
or my veins a bluish hue
my sadness are clouds permeating a blue sky
pupils fear the eyelids
darkness is a danger
no color saves me there
the lens of my eye crack, reflect
they film all the mechanical details
robots moving, smiling:
all silver, all wiring faulty
my eyes are no different from a digital camera
i can never capture true color, nor true beauty
the red of a rose pierces my iris, and leaves its trail on the whites of my eyes.

her eyes surveil a waking world
deuteranopia, skewing her views
the rods and cones of her eyes rebelling against her sight
the red of blood and the green of grass blend into a singular shade
an olive, or mustard color, it’s not unpleasant
the sunset is painted differently
like God mixed different paints when He stroked his brush across the sky
the sun shines all the same
the brightness still leaves spots in her vision, and reflected in her eyes are the words
words i will never understand
the film of her eyes run out, constantly
black reels spool out of her eyes, like tears
but she smiles still
she can’t see the difference between a tomato and an apple
but the sweetness is still there
her lens have been cracked, but glued together
by the colors of her soul.

its blind to me
my eyes fade to static, while hers heightens in quality
perhaps it is why i have been staring at her,
while she stares at the sun.

the empty seat across from you
only the dust particles, highlighted by the beams of the sun, sit there
the angel sits and its eyes blend the sunlight
you haven’t touched your food
each fry, getting cold and soggy from their tears
your burger, greasy and unappetizing, is still talking to you
avoid eye contact, it might make you hungry

your stomach despises food, it’ll scream out till your throat burns
taking care of yourself is a herculean task, the city noise does not care if your hair is unkempt
the laminated menu sits in front of you
each stain and fingerprint on it, a time capsule of laughter and joy
you ordered for two, but didn’t expect the angel to come
the waitress smiled when she heard the order, like she had heard it before
in a distant time, in a faraway place
unrecognizable, it’s not the place you are in now

the meal opposite of you has no consumer
yet you ordered it to feel something
hoping that they would come possess the food and speak to you through it
that if you ate it, they’d live in your stomach for eternity
but alas it was only an angel
who smiles softly
who eats the food there quietly

who thanks you for the meal, and leaves leaving only a picture
a picture of us, of you smiling, of when you were full of life
and i remember how you loved
there was no light nor stars in a room without you
i put the menu away, now stained with tears
the rays of the sun don’t blind as harshly
and it leads me to a pen and paper
it says write
you are now deathless in words

i fear God
my parents speak of finding God in mundane things
they speak to Him through whispers
eyes closed, hands together
it was a scary sight as a child
i wanted to join them
but feared that i would do it wrong
that instead of my prayers being accepted
they would disintegrate
that the words before they escape my throat
would burn in my lungs
and smoke would leave my mouth
something unholy
that would linger in the air
suffocating anyone in my vicinity
fear that my prayers would cause the death of those i love
their well poisoned with my mold
God would punish me because of my imagined crimes
under His surveillance even the moths don’t chase lights
my words were weaker than others
i kept them down
mixing with the acid and half digested food
they never surfaced
i found God in love
or love was just a part of God
thorns off a rose plant
raw meat cut, blood trickling
the birds in heaven are carnivores
every desire bears fruit
love is paradise, locked away
it doesn’t appear to me
is it because i’ve feared God
in my prayers now the words don’t come
but my tears do, they sting down my cheeks
bystanders on my shoulders don’t wipe them away
or maybe they can’t
i have to get to heaven first, to love
to eat honey and experience ecstasy
human desires, is it earthly in paradise
do angels get jealous surveilling my mortal tears  
what is more divine
then her and i sharing a laugh
and when her hand lingers on my body
i fear God

beneath the moonlit olive tree, may you lay me to rest
where dreams are cradled by the sea, may you lay me to rest

the waves carve our names in stone, as the tide erases time
if i must leave, in the words and metaphors of my poetry, may you lay me to rest

in the oases of the desert’s unforgiving, scorching heat
next to the flowers of my love that bloom in secrecy, may you lay me to rest

my feet, molded to the cool sands, lost beneath the stars
resorting to love as my compass, if it is my fate to cease to be, may you lay me to rest

each breath i have spent seeking you mixes with the simoom winds
the dust clouds my vision of your sun-kissed eyes, if you must flee, may you lay me to rest

the constellations dim, the stars have become weary of my longing gaze
for my heart cannot bear to outlive even the thought of thee, may you lay me to rest

ghostly apparitions test the strength of my ardor
even if my destiny is fraught with fear, and my prayers fail to preserve my sanctity, may you lay me to rest

i am lost in the desert of your heart; this life means nothing if you are not here with me
while the last wisp of breath slips from my lips and you are not there to receive it. in eternal desire, may you lay me to rest

i was never pretty
but i could be
there’s a boy in the mirror
with puffy eyes and nails bitten too short
he carries an anger,
not a righteous anger, but a pitiful one
there is blame in his accusatory eyes
he raises his fist to the mirror but never punches
all he mutters is “i hate you”
three words repeated till they have lost meaning
but it hurts all the same
i stretch my hand out  
our fingertips meet on the surface and his gaze softens
a thin glass barrier divides our touch, keeping our fingers suspended in space
doomed never to meet
i wish i could tell him that he is deserving of love
that the world is at his every whim
there is only melancholy in his soul
and monotony in his movements
his eyes always drift to his body; it never looks right to him
a tinge of desperation and yearning stained his eyes
his breathing shudders as if the air has thinned
he hunches over, reminiscent of a gargoyle
stone heart and stiff muscles
his cries are mute but I feel the vibrations through our touch
it is only a mirror
i didn’t become pretty
but i could be.
oh i could be

remus and romulus loved each other
or was it hate that founded the empire
when they suckled from the wolf, did they too become feral creatures
the calcium, intoxicating, and invigorating
did they notice their nails growing longer, and their canines sharper
did romulus **** remus because he would not stop growling
remus whispered indefinitely in his brothers’ ears
a comfortable sound, but one that fed the emptiness in romulus’ mind
that must be why he felt the need to **** him
to see his life leave his pale eyes
and feel warm liquid pooling under him
the knife silenced, and romulus with a clear head
numbly built an empire on the bones of his conscious
cain stabbed abel with a fire in his eyes
the hatred in his heart was so fierce that only abel’s voice was the one he heard
was it love that drove him to stab his brother in the back
the back that he spent many years following behind, as young explorers
he silenced abel, and God cursed him for eternity
quiet, yelled the moon to the sun
***** out the light that shines too bright into your window
cut the flowers at the neck of the stem, for the pollen dries your eyes
build your empire on the death of love
take this capsule
feel the bullet go inside your esophagus
the bullet that will cause the death of your heart
not fired out of any gun
but given to you by yourself
your conscious is stabbed in the back
canines dug deep in the neck of the one you loved
the thorns of a rose exist for what purpose
can you reconcile this ******
synapses blocked, stringy tendrils inhibit smiles
you now can only live, and rule you must
pray that your empire will not fall