I've been thinking.
Well, I'm sorry,
I don't dare to tell you
What's bothering me but
I guess I'll just put it in this
Little poem.

Well, firstly,
I just don't want this year to end.
I've been thinking about
How much feels I'm gonna have
Once we part at the end of the year.
I wouldn't know what to do.
I'll be lost.
I'll be confused.
I'm scared mam.

And, secondly,
He keeps bothering me
Screaming to get out.
I give up, if he wants to get out
By all means.
I've had enough mam.
I know I promised you
I wouldn't do anything funny but
Does going insane count as
Doing something funny?

And lastly,
I've been worried about Frank, dear.
It worries me and saddens me
When I see a friend, a buddy,
A childhood companion,
Suffer because of me.
And it just makes me feel bad
Every time he defies Adsel and
Gets so worried with the
"She'd be mad"s and "She'd be so worried"s
He thinks of me 24/7 and has
Suffered for me all this while

And you know, sometimes,
I am curious but
What if he is
My brain's projection of

You?

I must think of you too much madame,
Yet I think too little...
I don't know.
I'm confused.
Lost.
This is the most decent of thoughts in the
Past three hours.
I'll treasure it.
I'll post it.
I hope you read it.

And I pray you stop worrying then...

Oh what're we doing at
12:05am
Grieving over a
Non-existent woman

Oh but is she non-existent?

Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.

I know what's real
I know what's not
I do, I know.

Oh do you, really?

YES, ****** I DO.

Why not come over?
Why not stay?
Live in Wonderland

Forever

I can't.
I have to stay.
I must.
I must.
I must.
SHUT UP!

*Think about it...
Isn't this your dream home?
Isn't your family here?
You're true family.
Come on.
Stay
Stay
Stay...

I live right down the street
To the only mental asylum
In our nation
And sometimes I wonder

Is that a sign?

I don't know.

Maybe it's just the way
You made it sound,
Like some infectious disease and
I'm the infected.
It made me feel funny,
Suddenly conscious of my
Slowing down breathing.
I didn't want to talk

Not at all.

I wanted to go home
Alone

I've lived with Mal for 4 years now,
Adsel 2, and Frank 9.
I've seen them grow,
I've seen them feel,
I've seen them

Starting off with
Constructing Wonderland then
The kidnapping,
The disappearance,
Abandoning the land,
The coming of Mal,
The period past 9,
The sudden return of Frank,
Meeting Adsel,
Playing the first of Adsel's games,
The revelation that they're siblings,

Oh we've gone through so much...

But Frank,
I'm so sorry
A few times more

Frank Adsel Mal Lucas Geoffrey Jeffrey Mike Hoobler

They were
The closest thing to family
I ever had

They'd fight ever so often
But they always stuck
Together

They always understood me
When I shared a problem;
They'd nod and smile
Tell me it's alright;
They'd give me a hug if
I ever needed one

But the truth still prevails:
They don't exist

I am merely
Reminding myself of my problems,
Convincing myself I'm *******,
Wrapping myself in my arms

I wish there was
Really someone understanding,
Really someone comforting,
Really someone giving me that hug

But it can never be
And my nights shall remain in

Solitude.

I feel her lungs
Threatening to fly out of that
Little cage as the
Phlegm begins to
Build up,
Growing into a
Bigger ball
Jammed right in the
Centre of her
Narrowing throat

A spoonful of this
Two pills of that
A jugful of water
A pack of lozenges

Why isn't it
Getting any better
And in fact even
Getting worse?