Time differences don't make
The worries any easier

There really isn't anything to watch

Sometimes I'm just so scared that
If I said no, you'd walk out and
Leave

Like everybody else.

I'm worried you'd become blind like the crowd,
Growing too busy to care
With other people to attend to,
Parties, events, jobs, work —
And you'd leave me here.
Alone.

I really don't want to tie you down either.
There are so many other people out there
That would make you so much happier than I would.

And I know that.

I'm worried you'd get tired of listening to the same ****
Over and over and over and over again,
But the problem is the **** keeps coming back and

I don't know how to stop it.

People think I'm attention-seeking and
Extremely unoriginal to have the same story keep
Popping up again.
They think I'm such a fudging great actor.

And I agree sometimes.

Because they don't see the
Invisible tears that flow.

I'm worried that you'd just give up on me.
Because I'd give up on me.
In fact, I already kinda have.

People tell me
I'm crazy.
And I know I am.
I have a fudging mental disorder for goodness sake,
Crazy is the new normal.
And I'm used to that bit.

But if people are sick,
Do you not care for them?
Why do people run away?
Why do people avoid?
Why do people leave
Because they think

I'm fudging crazy.


I'm trying not to be.
I really am.

I've never felt
This vulnerable
This lonely and
This cold
On a sleepless rainy night

What kind of monster am I?

Now that she loves him more,
And quarrels (slightly) less,
Why do I still feel this
Inner hatred and
The longing for him to stay





Far far away?

Is it because of the disgust?
That memory
Of him

There

In front of his
Huge computer screen and
A fallen off towel and
The early morning beer and
Those stupid stupid stupid

Videos.

But even so,
The hate can't last
That long, can it?

What is up?
I don't know.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
What did He do?
I don't know.

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know

I don't know...

I'm a monster
To wish them to be
Apart
Just so I don't need to face him.

I'm a monster
To wish her to
Crash the car and die
Just so he'd feel true suffering.

I'm a monster.
I'm evil.
I'm very very

Bad.