and your embroider him on your chest
like a badge of triumph
but as you stitch
until your thumbs go numb
don’t forget
his transgressions will tarnish
the needle
and your medallion will surely rust
until the words of congratulations
are buried deep
hardly legible

we’re parallel lines
domain: infinity
destined to remain side by side forever
but never quite able to reach out and touch

my gold encrusted heart
tried to reveal the secrets of the dawn
when the morning is still new
and there’s no coffee on

when the blinds are still closed
but the sun’s getting restless
when our dreams are still real
and the world’s still majestic

but the day broke too soon
and my courage disappeared
the dawn reveled on
unbeknownst to what i’d feared

is it all so carefully staged?
you’ve crafted a convincing plot, i’ll admit
was it all premeditated,
down to the residue of a nonchalant grin that was leftover where your lips should be
layered on top of your lightly dusted skin?
you seem to have embodied this role for far too long
even your subconscious doesn’t question your blurred motives
though the polygraph remained stagnant,
my eyes are not so gullible
at some point, your cover will be blown
your alibi will fall through
so don’t expect me to still be around
you cant care about not caring,
nature has strict rules about these contradictions
so make your next move carefully
authenticity always comes at a price,
and sometimes its even higher than that of concealment

aristocratic air
bountiful glory
but don't forget
even beings birthed straight from a supernova
still rot like the least of us.

petals braided in her golden curls
a downright hippie child
chasing down the sunlight
with her bare feet running wild

spilling secrets from a wicker basket
that i picked up one day
to quell my curiosity
amongst the trees that sway

it whispered sweet songs in my ear
and filled my heart with honey
it taught me to feel colorfully
and smile when it gets sunny

i hope, one day, i’ll pay her back
wherever she may be
amongst the fairies or the leaves
wherever she feels free

those perfect eyelids fluttered shut
lips inching towards the flame
i never wanted to be fire before
but now i wish i was ablaze

i watched you make your silent wish
and saw it melt away
the embers swirled with energy
your eyes made them ashamed

and as the black smoke settled
i knew your wish would come true
but surely, dear, you’d wished for him

too bad
i’d wished for you

my sanctuary
my one true peace
illuminate me
strip away your elegance
the truth
comes pure and light

suburban royalty
with crowns of melded coins
and moats of picket fences
with absolute reign
and divine rights
their worst nightmare
lying just across the county line
where their thrones have been usurped
by the realization
that they’re just like everybody else

the pulsating beats
of the rain on the sidewalk
some cars skidding by
others stuck in a gridlock

i tried to see look through you
see the allure all around me
but you won’t stop your nagging
no matter how hard i plea

its surely been months now
since we walked through this city
i miss how you wandered
and whispered so pretty

but its just me and these lights now
and the puddles on the pavement
i’ll drown in their memories
and the art of self-effacement

colored lights
and disco dames
fractured beats
raucous refrains

silver magic
red hot sin
golden kisses
blushing skin

who cares
who knows
who speaks the truth

who lives
who dies
deceit of youth

the parchment crinkles
is my clenched fist
but remains legible
infused with bliss

it has not been stained
by the stream of tears
that refuse to fall for you

my idealist
distracted my realist
for quite long enough
in your confounding presence

but she’s come back around
and this time, for good
immune to the
irrational
irreverent
i r r e s i s t a b l e  
words of persuasion
in your arsenal

your careless whispers
subtle affection
maybe it's just misdirection

say stay awhile
an invitation
maybe it's no indication

your glance my way
my mind a mess
maybe i just can’t care less

her marked atonement
for many a crime
seemed to console them
at least for a time

but soon that too faded
right back to the dark
right back to the epithet
the Beast with no Heart

that gave her no option
but to whip up a spell
for that is all she knew
that devious belle

the noxious, thick vapors
soon spread like a fog
and none were the wiser
A Queen’s monologue

When memory does not serve forgetful minds
Consult the unkempt pages; I’ll do mine
The Era of Suburban Apathy
Of Pinky Promises and Blasphemy

When boredom struck, and this it always did,
We’d drive your car until the tires skid
We’d rather listen to static than news
Lost in reverie, not much to lose

Jumping picket fences hand in hand
Rowing your grandpa’s boat til it hit land
I’d yell fractured beats, raucous refrains
You’d pluck your guitar’s strings, neighbors complained

When drops of rain cut through the humid air
You’d twirl about with flowers in your hair
I’d trace the ones that fell down in the sand
And there we’d spend our days, with nothing planned

Those flowers, now preserved with utmost care
Rest between pages starting to wear
Reminders of the prologue of our lives
Before the race to win or just survive

Our sanctuary, long since disappeared,
In your brush strokes now remains revered
Ghosts of summers past, i reminisce
Dwelling too long, though, would be remiss

pony-tailed playmate
head tucked in her shirt
gazing steadily down
at her toes in the dirt

chaos tiptoes around her
naive oblivion
journeys in far away lands
just west of the meridian

watercolor fairy tales
bleeding outside the lines
unaware of the danger
unaware of the signs

let me sit with you, darling
in the dampened flower beds
and paint a new world
for us in our heads

though your masculinity whimpers for a boost
and your precious character lacks dimension
find your own reckless abandon
for my mystery is forceful blow
but only comprises a part of the whole
i’m not your manic pixie dream girl
i won’t do well as your pedestal

They stitched me up and sent me out
with a world-class, white-toothed smile.
Tradition sewed with thick black string
until its thumbs went numb and calloused.

Truth tarnished the needle and burned my skin,
but who was I to talk?
If you don’t have anything nice to say,
you best not say nothing at all.

Grandma prettied me up and dried my eyes,
said I should talk with God.
He’s an awful bad conversationalist;
The Saints remained silent night after night.

When that town was done, I was a right lovely thing:
delicately embroidered, just enough flourish.
Unsung secrets where a soul should be;
I guessed Blood was overrated anyway.

Now seams have ripped and sutures popped,
revealing gruesome wounds and ugly verity.
Momma, I’m sorry, it didn’t last;
I am not as strong as you are.

the intention of greatness
does not, in fact,
equate to the
ascension
that is so required
for those deemed worthy
of renown

how do you feel
my rock n roll baby
playin for folks
who couldn’t care less
for your old timer
bad rhymer
needs-a-good-shower-and-shoe-shiner
ways
that left you right back where you started your days
at that run down motel
only playin sundays

I watched the great demolition from the window
grand ballrooms dripped in decadence
sentenced to their own extinction
as the chandelier came crashing down
each crystal cascaded perfectly
like a million tiny meteors
i couldn’t pull my gaze from the theatrics
the predestined downfall
of an empire

melting sun
sing me to sleep
your star-crossed lover
alone on this beach

cradle my body
caress my skin
before you leave til tomorrow
or who knows when

the ultimate epilogue

She’s built of divinity.
Mother Earth birthed her,
sculpted her figure.
She’s the generations past;
She’s the collective future.
Her voice carries over the crests of waves,
harmonizing with the wind,
uniting the stars.
When she cries,
her tears rain from the heavens,
eroding sharp cliffs
and rough quarries
She created nations from dirt,
and power from her hands.
She is Woman.

if i am a sinner
then watch me commit
my scorned heart will burn
i’ll make you submit

but if i am a saint
warm blood in my veins
it’ll spill out for you
until nothing remains

so i guess either way
your wish is fulfilled
i’ll fall at your throne
the figure you killed.

the body is calm, sleek and streamlined
while the straps are tightened
until the skin bulges at the edges
of each steel buckle

the machine whirs on
the red light taunting along with the audience
residue of a smile is left on face inside

until the air’s too thin
the onlookers cheer
the simultaneous roaring
of both fatal instruments

the sounds then cease
and the smoke then clears
but all that remains when the gears stop cranking
is a single shard of glass
with no reflection

and the crowd goes wild

when night falls and the clouds blow in
thats when the ghosts appear

all of a sudden
all at once

they’re slow dancing in our favorite spot

but the wind is a cruel mistress
and blurs their once distinguishable figures

to nothing again

when i drew back the curtains this morning
all i saw was static
clogging the feed
taking my limelight
and again in the eyes of the girl with the poisoned tongue
and again in the breath of the boy exhaling the cold
if you’ve could turn the ****
i’d really love a different channel

endless chatter can make a full room seem empty just as words full of life can make an empty room seize with energy
where the right smile or laugh can surge through your bones,
triggering your pulse, endorphins, mind
once all the living fibers connect in both people, all the space becomes insignificant
the once stagnant air now spiraling between you
if telepathy were real, dear, it would happen between us
our every thought delivered just at the threshold of the other’s consciousness
hearts breaking and repairing together in an perpetual cycle
extreme highs and lows
but, in an instant, the bond snaps.
you’re gone, we’re gone in the wind
how can once indivisible should be back to monotonous motions
seemingly disappeared altogether
but do these lines of communication every truly break?

so even if the whole universe came and will leave instantaneously
at least i know that
all the forces of time and matter
permitted the rivers to rush
the sun to burn
and Earth to revolve
during our brief lifetimes

chosen by divinities
following the solstice
a zealot in essence
but still merely a novice

did his fervor deceive you?
were you plucked by his hand?
did his danger entice you?
was this what you had planned?

bend to his will, then
but keep morals intact
this is picturesque violence
but his polish will crack

and now i pledge
my undying allegiance
my never-ending fidelity
to the noble cause of
never moving your head off my shoulder
(no matter how many times my arm falls asleep)

my trembling fingers are frantically searching for you
why have you hidden so deep in those woods now?
i need to tell you how you shine
illuminate, radiate, glow
your light is too dim for my unskilled eyes
i can barely decipher you’re silhouette in these shadows
i know it’s still there, you’re still there
i see your hope, i’ll hold onto it for you
all you need to do is grab hold
my arm can only stretch so far
don’t let them take how you danced,
stopping time and my heart
i’m dizzy out here alone
i know you are too, so grab ahold, love
it’s still here, we’re still here
i’m still here

habitual mourning
for nothing in particular
choking on rope
for miles
and miles
and miles
until i reached the frayed end
just to realize
it was anchored to nothing
on the opposite size

the crinkled pages send a cloud of dust into the air when they open
so useless, unreal, ancient
but the roots of the tree have long since grown down through these pages
grasping for anything it can hook onto
solid, steady, grounded
this is only to find its rooted itself in an object whose seams could disband at any moment
disrupting the very structure
the branches make their way to the heavens
twisting, turning, reaching
through cloud of thought an uncertainty
the base is wide but each limb becomes paper thin
so fragile, fleeting, transparent
the leaves seem to spring from the branches with no warning
some even have eyes watching and examining the damage below
oh, the mysteries they must see
the questions they must have
where does the line between fantasy and reality disappear?

the reality i entertained
was nothing compared to
the world i created
from the remnants of
God’s breath  
the wind in our hair

they found their solace in the ever changing breeze, always managing to touch the untouchable
i saw them born anew every morning with their confidant, the sun
never without the other
if one glistened, the other shined
heaven in between their clasped hands
but if one drowned, the other surely suffocated without their oxygen supplier
at their peak, invincible, indestructible
but after seeing them in a broken heap on the pavement, i know the truth
what a dangerous game, risk for great reward or tragic defeat
what'll it be, my friends? who will prevail?

just as i suspected, i can’t stop the earth’s rotation
solemn solidarity, thank you, you’re so gracious
i open those blinds every day, expecting a different outcome
even though we’ve reaching a mutual decision,
the clouds outside that window and i, that is
i guess i’ll take the blame, then, for how this unfolded
the reel of film spews out image after image
but as they develop, unbearably slowly,
nothing ever appears
each time, the anticipation the excitement builds
but i already knew it’d be futile
the light still claims it is recording and the blinds still rise and the world certainly still rotates
and behind my fleshy exterior, i still bleed
the flowing won’t stop
and thats the only thing i know for sure

today has to be the day
i must drag myself out of this bed again
claw my way down the street
plaster that fake smile on once more

today has to be the day
i have to act like a human i guess
do the things all people do
force myself through the motions

today has to be the day
because tomorrow, you see,
the excruciating effort of being
will come knocking once more

how did this archaic being make it to my broken world?
dresses of cloth and lips painted by berries
i can only envision her ancient soul
in fields of rolling grass that no longer exist
save yourself from this new era, new city
its only for me and the other masters of modernity
who are numb enough to fade into the present

When they forgot your name, but he made headlines,
We remembered.
When they exalted him, despite your pleas,
We mourned.
When they probed your body in a sterile room,
We held your hand.
When they let him free, but questioned your past,
We cried for justice.
When they asked what you’d be drinking or how you’d been dressed,
We protested.
When you told the truth and they branded you “liar,”
We believed you.
When it seems like progress falls stagnant, the villains win, and hope is far too fleeting,
I promise, we are with you.

condensation
fermenting on my lips
while they shrivel
at the memories
the cold months bring