never knew all this time
your curiosity for me
was just as much as mine was for you
when the lights are off
and the doors are closed
you're in my fantasies
we're in your car
you are aggressive in them
i knew it could never happen
until you said that
in your condo to me
you're out of state
where are you
now that you want me
i need you so bad
i'm a *****
for wanting the boy that someone has claimed
but the boy doesn't claim them
the secret affair has begun
never to leave the bed
our lips will be sealed
and our tongues will be at war
and our hands will explore
every part of each other's bodies
and you'll bite my neck
just like i've been waiting for

i don't get myself
the swirls in my mind
won't stop telling me
that everyone secretly
hates me.

i ask them
everyday, they look at me
like i'm crazy.

what's wrong with me?
why can't i open the gate
to my fragile little heart
and let someone care about me?

always searching for someone to love me,
because i can't ******* love myself.

and always doubting their love,
because i can't ******* love myself.