Everything has been drained from me.
The blood settles in my limps and my heart sinks 10000 leagues under the sea.
Waves of amber colored ponds drown my eyes.


I lay here, in my coffin, faint.
I lay here, in my hurse, breathless.
Barely gasping for any of air that surrounds and suffocates my body.
You've done it again.  
You've taken my peace of mind
my empathy and pieces of me.


I've decided to look back at those before you and ask them to tell me what lessons I've failed.
They stare at me, blacked eyed like children.
Gagged up and stored in the back of the basememt.
Tattered and tarnished by countless floodings.
Drown and dried  over and over...
They give me no answers.

I lay here with a heart that melts out of it's cage.
A heart that melts through the cage of my ribs.

In my dreams, I try to eacape his tortue to get back to you.
I've climbed  stories, jumped over buildings, jumped into cars and bushes to get back to you.

And then, I lay awake.
Afraid of  waking adventures ahead of me.  
Afraid to ask you why and afraid even look.

I lay here lost and confused
60 hrs of emotional labor unpaid.

Blackberries glide down my throat.
While Blueberries push back the words
That should not be spoken.
The air in this classroom is stale.
This moment feels so still.

You come to mind like a 1940's picture show
Grainy memories covered in bitter-sweet nostalgia.
Your hair blows in the wind
The film skips
Now, your car is drowning on the Boulevard
I blink
And you're next to me in your car seat
Starring at me with those eyes that Cancers have
Big, deep, doe-like, and dark
In them, I can sink and drown.

The raspberries glide down my throat
While the pineapples push back my hope
That my email notification will ping.
That, maybe, you will respond to me.
With a 2010-friendly tone.

Sundown
You're next to me while I sigh and frown
And the beer is on our lips
While Los Angeles hangs in the clouds
The dead are the only witnesses around

Kiss me at the cemetery
I won't tell her and you won't tell him

You're my only friend on this hill of death
Roses cover our scent
We meet at the end of the darkest street
Where we smoke all of our sins

Venice Beach
Where we meet- Marvelous Things fill the air
I'm at the bar while you strum your guitar
And sing "It's not too late to change"
( I took that to heart)

Kiss me at the cemetery
I won't tell her and you won't tell him

You're my only friend on this hill of death
Roses cover our scent
We meet at the end of the darkest street
Where we smoke all of our sins

Cemetary Memories
Hair as black as sin

Breathe.
  
Its almost that time when the moon turns
and all that you hold turns on you.
And you turn into what you were always meant to be.
  
Inhale.

All the stars turn in their grave under your feet.
The angles turn their gaze toward your purity.
And all that was once black has faded to green.
  
Exhale.

Fate is turning in your favor while the past burns
While your ancestors singing turns into screaming
And your pinebox is rotting in a bleak dark cemetery

Choke.

On the empty curses you have promised.
On silver bullets and silver rings
And as you take your last breath feel the warmth from the ocean breeze.

Suddenly, you're not so far away
When we sing together I get a bitter taste.
Do you dream of another face?
These memories stick to my like a ****** stain

I can see the light beaming through the trees
I can feel the wind kick up a warm breeze
I can see the grey clouds roll on by
There's a storm brewing we ought to hide

Its the sweetest taste
When you eat the fruits of your labor that you've made
On this darkened road we are on there is a starry sky
Your life path isn't looking bright.

I can see the light beaming through the trees
I can feel the wind kick up a warm breeze
I can see the grey clouds roll on by
There's a storm brewing we ought to hide

Everyday is daunting.
Every interaction is fake and trite.
I just want to sink into the blues and greens
And leave behind the shell that was once me.
Put my skull up to your ear
And hear a shallow weeping come through
loud and clear.

Everyone is dead.
All my friends are ghost or tragic souls
Whom made terrible deals for short delights.
They sink into the black and aquamarine
While they haunt their lost dreams,
And you can hear them drown in frustration,
subtle but obvious.

Every man for himself.
This ship is sinking and the water is deadly cold
And its hunger is ravenous and exact.
You will sink into the cerulean and midnights.
The last wave will feel like a welcomed dream
And the final sounds will be a deep universal vibration.
grand and final.

Its comes in the middle of an optimistic smirk
Or when my mind is settling in its warm and cozy canopy bed that is surround with black sheer bed curtains.

The sad creeps in.

It creeps in when I am feeling safe and held in the arms of husband.
It creeps in on warm days when Im laying in grass watching the clouds pass.

The sad settles in.

It settles in the crevices of my brain
It settles in the chambers of my heart
It settles in behind my eyes
It settles inbetween each breath

The sad lingers.

It lingers through the days
It lingers in the words I say
It lingers in the thoughts that drift by
Its lingers through earths revolutions