The moon is there and she is strong

She taunts the ocean
night after night
It makes waves that struggle to touch her, as I do.

The sea's Froth forming futile fingers  
that crumble

The moon is there and she is strong

You wish to need no one as she needs no one,
has never reached out
But many a time before she has been sought out

The ocean mourns her.
When she goes missing from the night sky.
Masochistic in its desire for her
But desiring her none the less

No longer a mirror without her
No longer a passionate body
No longer full of life

But ever reaching

The moon is there and she is strong

Her new face does not remember
She is ever forgetful
as you wish to be.

still that twinge of what is missing will not let you
It drowns everything you have come to be.
Like you were caught in a Tsunami.
The closest the ocean will ever come
to her.

She does not reach out

You unfold your arms and see her light through outstretched fingers

The ocean flails. It wants to touch her
First.
and Last.

You both will fail Neither will reclaim what they lost in her

The moon is there and she is strong

She does not reach out
She holds your missing piece in her palm.

I hold fury in every space between my ribs
and in every hollow of every bone

Never before had I felt the strain and stress, the heart palpitations that result from the loathing abhorrence and simple seething self hatred that come from loving more than I am loved

Proper Nutrition holds that
the body must take in enough to replenish what it expends and still be left with a small surplus.
My body is undernourished.
My ribs are bare.
They feel the cold, though they've no nerves.
I feel the cold.

I am by no means insatiable.
But I must take in more than just the crumbs that would feed
a bird.

Feed me. Feed me. Replenish me.
Cover my bare bleeding ribs with your warm hands
Collect each drop of blood as it runs off
Bleed yourself and put the marrow back into the hollow of my bones.

I lay belly up now. But I am a hell hath no fury Hades Hound
And I will not hesitate to bare teeth and rip flesh from bone.

(The starving will feed)

why is it only the love of a man for a woman
written about in story books
only his excitement of pursuit for her detailed
like a foxhound with his nose to the ground
trying to squeeze himself into her den
with his hideous howls

Why is it only this that makes it into legend?

There is a more potent love
a more powerful bond
that requires no if…then proof
A love like I am the moon and she is the sun
Needing no exchange of an attempted quenching
of insatiable needs
I will revolve around her
nought but for the fact that I am of her matter
and she is of mine

constricted even in the way we move our bodies
told that awkward
little
movements
are
inexcusable

things to be laughed at, hidden, and learned to avoid
girls must dance by swaying their hips
in broad
round
circles
boys must shift their weight from
foot
to
foot

The motions must be fluid
like water through irrigation channels

no room for random gyrations
for the freeing movement
with no control

We have forgotten
we must lift our feet
to show our souls

My sister said she felt as though she had been *****
although neither of us had been
and yet both of us were

We each manifested it in our own ways
and in the same ways
The PTSD so characteristic of crimes against
those of our kind

She steered the little blue vehicle
while I charted the course
I argued in favor of what we had become

Through our inner battles our need to have built nuclear bunkers
in our hearts
our fine tuned herd instincts and our prey-like reflexes
Stronger I said, Stronger women we have become

Eyes fixed on the road she seethed

"I am a freak in isolation (as a tea kettle she would have boiled over)
I reach out but cannot, do not, will not touch
do not have the knowledge

to kiss?
to kiss another's lips...
I flinch  I shutter, turn away from and flee

The upper air not clear yet
my heart's bunker I do not leave
forced there, forced there by so many years of wear and tear
I Stay in my dragons keep"

as we on the road drive to the dragon lair
My sister steers
and I, baby sister,
in our noble steed of a powered blue;
I guide us there

- To my sister:
Know that this is just a snapshot in time, a photograph that we will later burn.
That we will soon move on and you my sister. You will always be my guiding Sun.

I want to shed you like a snake skin
Want to throw you up like too much whiskey

The sweet relief in the churning twisting convulsions of my stomach

You cling to me like an old man to his glory days

I only wish I could be the
Nirvana
            smoke
off incense
Transcending its earthly form

Dancing around your finger tips
Performing acrobatic
            Bends and gracefully thick swirls

But never to be touched, grasped ,or handled by you ever again.

You grab at me
but I am already gone

I dissipate

My hair falls in waves that curl around and
 frame my broad shoulders,
my clicking clavicle, and the beginning of my body's
latin waist

My hands, calloused, cracked and bruised
proclaim that I have lived a hands on life
I have struggled with weights
ten times my size both physical
and emotional
that I have dropped the reins
on an unruly horse
grabbed mane
and held on for dear life
terrified, excited
our nervous systems communicating
her centuries old wisdom  
in the marrow of my bones

My hips do not know how to be silent
as they walk
They flow in movement like a snakes serpentine
leaving statements of "I am here"
in the desert sand
My body walks into a room and these hips shout
I, me, my womanly body is here
together with my waist they etch out an hourglass
of time
but my body... is timeless

My feet that walk away from you and most of your kind
Wide and arched they have helped my body flee your kind's
prodding, squeezing, clasping grasp
many a time

My tongue short, smaller than most
that did not say what my body collectively
begged and pleaded for, for such a long time

Do not touch me, my waves of curl,
my outreaching shoulders, my latin waist,
my outspoken hips, my survivors feet.
Do not touch

because
Its MY BODY
MY BODY
MY BODY