Take this photo of our most wanted dream
plot it out, let our greatest fear be seen
black and blue diary, empty your emotions
pain is too pretty, make yourself cause you're far from done
cheer up, oh beautiful eyes
you ask such questions of why and how
you're far too young to give up now
you are tied and tangled in your mind
the harder you try, the faster you rise
so separated, your mind over this matter
but you're mine, and only that matters
and you hold out
to miss the misery
crisscross your mouth; stitch it shut
your eyes watch it goodbye
your lips kiss it hello
cheer up bright eyes
you say that your extinct
cheer up bright eyes
you're worth more than you think
cheer up, don't cry
don't you know i need you here?
smile for me one more time
you can write out your feelings
but wipe away those tears

I had a dream
That we went to a museum
Full of nothing but
e.e Cummings paintings and
ashtrays for our convenience
With interlocked fingers and sweating palms
I kissed you on a spiral staircase
Leading down
To a swimming pool
Where we sank like stones
Without our clothes
And I'm sure I kissed you there too

he said ‘you are the moon’
but now i’m guessing
he’s adapted to perpetual sunlight
unwanted
those eyelashes fall
like my cigarette ashes
so make a wish
and make it fast
before it’s blown away
by this hurricane
because
he’s made of brass
but i’m nothing more
than the crucible for the cast
the sand dollar swept up
by the tidal wave
or the paint poured down
the drain

This throat is raw
From the fire in my heart
It scalds the esophagus
As it works its way up
And makes it hard to
Tell you the way I feel
And tasting you isn't the same
And I'm choking on every word
I didn't say
Vowels and consonants all fail me
And stupid girls
Don't win a ******* thing
Except self destruction anyway
And there ain't no gift receipt
For that

If you let me borrow your heart
I can stop the bleeding
And spray paint it with gold
Plant it in a hidden forest
And check impatiently as it grows
Watered with moonlight
Harvested in buckets of oblivion
Ladybugs will burrow in your ventricles
As wildflowers bloom from your withered arteries and veins
The tell tale heart of nothing in particular
Whos beating was gone long ago
And replaced by a song
You’ve been dying to sing

there are CPR techniques
in the copy room
my eyes won't light up if
they can't find you
my soundtrack is
percolating coffee and
keys sliding through locks
i'm not being careful
certainly not careless
all i need is one more
kiss
just don't forget my name
school taught me
i don't know how to
think

He said write like you’re real
and i laughed in his face
we are all a product of our environment
cant you see all the ******* you create is fake?
‘you are an easy girl to love’
i’m easier if you just forget about me too
serial disappointer for hire
woke up with monsters
painted on the ceiling
my sistine chapel
always shining darker than whats-his-name’s
red light digital analog
seen faintly through a blanket cocoon
sleep is for dreamers
mine replay memories
my head rests in the hollow of your collarbone
just as well as
your hand on the nape of my neck
i’m sorry we couldn’t be us
carry the moon in buckets
and wash my soul for tomorrow
perception is always lost between syllables

I had a dream
that you never came
to pick me up at the train station
so
I jumped in front of one.

I was always the one
that waited,
Romeo.

Thrown into a shark tank
To become a crab
Standing lines versus mad dashes through stairs
Seeing new York live and licking blood off your teeth
You’re gonna be fine
I promise, it’s me
Can we survive a round on our feet?

I have poetry
Running through my head
Tangled, resilient
Like knots in hair
Dark things shake me at night
My pillows feel foreign
And sweat is cold
Sadness sleeps on my eyelids
Cozy as can be
But always terrorizing
Only me

***** all my feelings up
Purge every emotion I've ever felt
Because it kills me to think
Murders me actually
To realize I'm at the bottom of your to do list
I think your soul poisoned me with your tongue
And mine never thought to try and reject the taste
Battery acid and bated breath
Was all you really gave me
In a hotel bed
With a side of longing
to crush the dreaming in my head
I guess
I wasn't enough in the end
Now our sanity
Won't have anything to hold the frayed ends together
Will they?

raindrops racing
smooth and cold on my neck
fast across my vertebrae
boots smacking puddles
and
a lighter escaping
from my pocket
i'm a mess, oh god
don't i know it
being double blinded
from fog behind glasses
and tears streaming
torrentially

my wishing well became all washed up
and there’s an empty sound within my brain
and i’m still waiting on something that never came
you talked about her, when i thought it was me
i interpret everything wrong these days
an ancient codex for the hopeless
lost my copy in these dreams
where we’re invincible and inseparable
with bodies so inviting
and sleep when the sun comes up
on the butcher block because i’m more valuable in pieces
and you’ll forever be my biggest weakness

Nietzsche was right god is dead
I'm kissing a broken record
Who won't stop playing in my head
Forget English let's talk body language
I want to touch every curve that makes you uniquely you
And wake up with kisses on a Saturday afternoon
Pick me
pick me
pick me please
To be
         Tangled
                        Up
                              ­With
                                       You
                                              .

I ****** up
and forgot your birthday
but you ****** up
and forgot i existed
--
i knew you were in love
with a little bird
who had delicate bones
and sadness
--
but i was a fish
out of water
who just couldn't see
the truth

my throat’s on fire
and i’m coughing up my confidence
i laid awake haunted by your voice
ringing in my sleep like a nightmare
with each sporadic pulse
is an erroneous thought
my convoluted conscious convulsing
now your body’s echoing
cooing back after my howling
taunting, daunting, remonstrating
exploiting, and self-serving
aloof to your own ambivalence

I want a boy
with the last name of a famous poet
who struggles to find words
to tell me I look
nice today.
Who will know
every song on shuffle
in my car
but lipsyncs into the
passenger side mirror to
avoid the risk of messing
up the lyrics
in front of me.
Someone with the courage
to grab my hand in
a public place
and not care if his are
sweating.

I think it could
possibly
maybe
be
you
.

Let me give you coral colored kisses
And make you chocolate
After my coffee
Ruffle your hair
And smoke our morning
Right out of the window
Let's make a game
Of trying not to walk
Downstairs today.

Icicles in my veins are
tearing up this heart
to turn feelings into pulp

I like the way the syllables in your name taste
when they roll around my ******* whisper.
Sugar coated when they fall
from my mouth into your ear.

I had a dream we shared cigarettes
and talked for hours in a waffle house
and our coffee got cold
and we laughed about it.
I tried to show you constellations from my driveway
but the clouds covered everything
except the little dipper.
You kissed my fingers
when I held your hand.
I woke up happy
despite
three hours of sleep.

My sleep is ensnaring me
Daring me to never seek it out again
Forcing me to be apart from my family
And watching blood pour from your mouth
Over my jeans
Soaking your shirt
Into my wounds
Staining the dirt
I will howl at the moon
Until you come back to me

I’m one of those little ducks in grease
Drowning in a sea of you and me
I can hear the static falling
Snap crackle popping in my brain
Waiting to dive back into my body
I’ll never feel at home again
My bloods on the side walk
My hearts on the corner
Don’t revisit me

Can those lips just belong to me?
And those eyes from the deep blue sea?
I'd paint a symphony
Or sing you a sculpture
Play a poem
Or write you a ballet
If it meant I could have you to myself one day.

I want your hands to search me
For the response I'm reluctant to give
Answer all your questions with the perfect touch
While my lips remain locked

With other boys still lingering under my tongue
I'll kiss you like lightning
To make you taste your name.

I never really knew
That streetlights buzzed
Until I was a teenager
Smoking underneath them
-
"Nobody's perfect, except Jesus!"
But look what happened to him
You want to be crucified
For other people's lies

Your kisses are **** and sweet
Cherry pie
I'm always aching for a bite
Sighing in between the sheets
You're all I want (and hope to Keep)
The stars in the sky
Couldn't compare to the ones in my
Eyes.

I closed my eyes
And it felt like all the streetlights had been extinguished
The ground I walked on
Made me squeamish
I turn the ignition to turn up at your door
Just to kiss you
And tell you I love you more

I try to exhale the heaviness in my chest
But it’s not enough
It will never be enough
And I’m sorry all over again

All these songs are breaking my ribs
One
  By
    One
My heart is a  h u m m i n g b i r d
And my breathing is shallow
Look up to the ceiling
As I’m hoping my lungs are filling with blood
My
i
d
l
e
Fingers will do the Devils work
If I don’t occupy them
With weaving these knotted curls together
And lighting

everything

I can possibly smoke
on fire
‘everything is temporary’
Is the hardest pill to swallow

my heart has a normal rhythm
for once
im remembering the night
you said it could’ve exploded
the fact that it didn’t
made me kiss you harder
so now i push my limits
and leave smoke trails on the table
pump coffee through my arteries
because blood is overrated
sold my breath to the devil
to taste yours

You're just the boy with no time for me.
And I'm just the girl who's losing sleep
over your obituary.

Darling dear, now listen here
I was put on this Earth to kiss you
As easy as breathing

But when it comes to missing you
Well I just can't take it

The worst thing
you could ever have
crawling under your skin
is yourself.

hit a desperate yet (beautiful) point in your life
where you’re begging someone to spit in your mouth
because
lying next to them,
kissing them,
being inside them,

just
       isn’t
             enough

They
Don't
Fill
Up
This
Hole
Like
You
Did.

Take my soul and heart
today, With boys like you I
can't find words to say